02/08/2026
Today I went for a walk in the sunshine ☀️… now, in bed at 7.30pm completely exhausted.
This week is 9mths since my double mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction, 10.5mths since I finished six months of chemo, 4 months since I finished 5wks of radiation, & just 2.5wks since I completed a year of HER2 therapy.
That was the journey a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis took me.
For someone who has always put so much energy into health, those treatments weren’t actually what hurt the most. It was my diagnosis. 🥹
19mths ago, my world was turned upside down… & as much as my body has been through since then, coming back to life has been just as hard.
How does someone who puts so much energy into health get this sick? And then… how do you find your way back to health when you’re still trying to answer, how did I end up here?
When you get to No Evidence of Disease & everyone thinks you’re ok… then what… when your whole world was pulled out from underneath you? 🤷🏻♀️
This week also marks 6mths of trying to find a new norm with work & home. Catching every bug because my immune system is still rebuilding. Trying to find a work schedule that works with my energy, my family, my clients & my purpose. Trying to fit in the self-care my body needs, so it can heal the many scars.
Healing doesn’t end when treatment does.
The social anxiety after a year away from normal life has surprised me. There are days I miss the peace that year offered me… despite how awful it was. It’s all so confusing. I think it’s the most lost I’ve ever felt, while also being the happiest just to be here.
This is the reality of chronic illness for so many people… celebrating the victories while trying to find a way home in a body that has lost its way.
So I go for a walk in the sunshine, sing my favourite song at the top of my lungs, eat food that both nourishes me & brings me joy, honour whatever emotion is present, & trust that, little by little, I’ll find my way home again. 🙏🏻
Much love to everyone walking the path of chronic illness. With love, light & strength. 🤗❤️