Audhdee with fire

15/04/2026

If you’re drifting off to sleep… take it.

Don’t push through.
Don’t wait.

Rest doesn’t always come back when you want it. 🧡

11/04/2026

April is Autism Acceptance Month ❤️

And this year… it feels different.

Because I’m not just learning about autism anymore —
I’ve been diagnosed.

I’m AuDHD.
Autistic and ADHD.

For so long, I felt like parts of me didn’t quite fit together.
The overwhelm, the shutdowns, the way I process the world,
the way I feel everything deeply but struggle to express it in the moment.

Now it has a name.

And more than that —
it has understanding.

Autism acceptance isn’t about “fixing” people like me.
It’s about understanding how we experience the world,
and supporting us in ways that actually help us function and feel safe.

For me, that means:
✨ support, not pressure
✨ understanding, not assumptions
✨ space to regulate, not push through

I’m still me.

Just finally understood — even by myself. ❤️

09/04/2026

19/02/2026

Self-advocacy is exhausting.

It’s repeating yourself.
It’s gathering evidence.
It’s being told “no” and coming back anyway.
It’s sitting in rooms where people speak over you —
and choosing to speak again.

Some days I feel like I’m fighting systems,
fighting misunderstanding,
fighting minimisation.
And yeah… sometimes it feels like
die trying rather than live wondering.
Because living in “what if I had pushed?”
“what if I had spoken up?”
“what if I had backed myself?”
That regret is heavier than the fight.

But here’s the truth:
Self-advocacy isn’t about destroying yourself to prove a point.
It’s about standing firm in your lived experience.
It’s about refusing to shrink.

Keep going.
Keep documenting.
Keep asking.
Keep pushing for the supports you need.
Not because you’re dramatic.
Not because you’re difficult.

Because your life matters.
Your nervous system matters.

Your capacity matters.
I’d rather try and be told no
than stay silent and disappear.

— adhdee.with.fire

10/12/2025

🌿 A little reminder…

Being inconsiderate isn’t:

• existing quietly in your own home
• needing a moment of calm
• forgetting something small
• asking for support
• taking up space like a human being

Being inconsiderate is:

• expecting someone to read your mind
• releasing your frustration at the easiest target
• refusing to communicate your needs kindly
• acting as if only your comfort matters

Some of us spend our whole lives trying to make ourselves smaller, softer, quieter —
just to avoid being called “inconsiderate.”

But here’s the truth:

✨ The most considerate people are the ones who are always double-checking they’re not causing harm.

If you care enough to worry about it…
you’re already doing better than you think. 🧡

28/11/2025

🛍️ A little story about something that looked small — but wasn’t.

The other day in the shops, something happened that most people would shrug off…
but my brain didn’t.

I was focused — locked onto a task, solving a problem, checking a price because it scanned wrong. My mind was in mission mode, not social mode.

And as I moved, someone else and I crossed paths awkwardly, both trying to get through the same space. He muttered:

> “No worries… you’re welcome.”
— in that passive-aggressive tone people use when they feel owed politeness.

And in that moment, I realised something:

He wasn’t reacting to what I did.
He was reacting to what he expected.

He wanted eye contact.
He wanted the social script.
He wanted the automatic "Oh! Sorry! Thank you!"

But here’s the thing:
My brain wasn’t thinking socially — it was thinking practically, urgently, and directly. I wasn’t ignoring him. I wasn’t annoyed. I wasn’t rude.

I was occupied.

Neurotypical people assume every silence is a statement.
For neurodivergent brains — silence just means we’re busy processing.

🧠 Sometimes we don’t speak because our focus is locked.
🧠 Sometimes we don’t look up because the sensory input is already too much.
🧠 Sometimes we don’t respond immediately because we’re surviving the moment, not performing in it.

But instead of curiosity, we get judged.

Instead of grace, we get attitude.

Instead of understanding, we get labelled rude, cold, distant, dismissive —
when really, we were just doing our best in a chaotic environment.

So here’s the truth:

I’m not rude.
I’m not disrespectful.
I’m not lacking manners.

✨ My brain just doesn’t run on the same social operating system.
✨ And I shouldn’t have to apologise for existing that way.

If you ever see someone in a shop looking focused, overwhelmed, or quiet — assume they’re navigating the environment, not ignoring you.

Some of us aren’t being impolite.

We’re just trying to make it through the world without shutting down.

—
💚 Signed: adhdee.with.fire

10/11/2025

💡 Accommodation isn’t indulgence — it’s equity.

They tell me to put on sunglasses.
To be less sensitive.
To try harder.

But I shouldn’t be the only one adapting while everyone else ignores how painful the environment is for me.

This isn’t about comfort. It’s about pain.
About lights that stab like needles, sounds that shake through my bones, smells that make my head spin.

Support means meeting me halfway — not pretending I’m fine because you are.

I’m not asking for special treatment.
I’m asking for the same access to peace that everyone else takes for granted.

🌿 adhdee.with.fire

08/11/2025

🌿 I didn’t fail — I evolved.

I planned for a business.
I rushed in, got my ABN, poured candles with all my heart — and when it didn’t work out how I imagined, it stung.

But I didn’t stop. I shifted.
I kept walking dogs, showing up, learning, trying again.

What I thought was failure was really just redirection — a rough draft of something better.
Because the dream never died… it just found new shape.

Now, DKK Kandles & Paws / Paws Are Walking BY DKK is both — the fire and the fur.
The scent of calm, the sound of paws, the life I built by trying again.

I didn’t fail.
I evolved.

🕯️🐾 adhdee.with.fire

06/11/2025

🚴‍♀️ Let’s Talk: Shared Paths & Respect on Wheels 🐾

While out riding, I got told to “use the bike lane.”
It’s not the first time — and probably not the last.

But here’s what a lot of people don’t realise: not every cyclist can safely use the bike lane.
Some of us — especially those managing disabilities, sensory sensitivities, or mental load — use shared paths because it’s the safest and most sustainable way to get around.

I wasn’t breaking rules or being lazy.
I was simply making a choice that supports my wellbeing and safety.

We never truly know what’s behind someone’s actions — and it costs nothing to replace judgment with understanding.

Let’s share the path with empathy — there’s enough room for all of us 💛