24/07/2026
I often hear people say that they no longer know what helps them feel regulated.
This can be especially noticeable when someone has been dealing with stress, overload or high demands for a while. By the time distress is high, it can be much harder to notice what you need, remember what has helped before, or begin something supportive.
This is one reason I think regulation can become too closely associated with what we do once things are already difficult.
For me, regulation is also woven through ordinary life: walking outside, listening to a podcast I am interested in, crocheting, or becoming absorbed in a creative project.
For someone else, it might involve movement, stimming, predictable routines, sensory input, solitude, connection, rest or fewer demands.
The same thing will not necessarily help every time.
A neuroaffirming lens also invites us to look beyond what the person should do differently. Sometimes the environment is too demanding, there is too much sensory input, or what is needed is more rest, predictability or support.
Regulation is not about doing it in the “right” way or appearing calm.
Sometimes it is less about finding the perfect strategy and more about noticing patterns over time: what helps, what makes things harder, what your system seems to need, and what around you may need to change.
And sometimes understanding those patterns is easier with support — it does not have to be something you work out entirely on your own.
