02/08/2026
A little (big) health update. These photos capture some of the moments during, and behind the scenes of, living with chronic illness. This post has taken me almost two hours to write. I'm currently "normal people sick" on top of everything else, and my GORD has been flaring up, so the last four days have been pretty rough.
The last year has been consumed by trying to advocate for myself and, once again, not feeling listened to by the medical community.
December 2025: I finally saw a psychiatrist for a formal ADHD and OCD diagnosis, so I could access the right treatment. I paid around $955 upfront just before Christmas, and rebate, only to be told I had neither. Instead, I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Persistent Depressive Disorder and told to increase my antidepressants.
Despite comprehensive assessments from my psychologist, countless medications since 2020 that hadn't worked, and having my husband there as an advocate, I felt like my concerns were dismissed because I didn't fit the stereotype. I went into that appointment feeling hopeful. I left feeling embarrassed and devastated because there was still no explanation for what I was experiencing or why these medications never seemed to work. I genuinely started to wonder if it was all in my head.
January-May 2026: My GP gradually increased my medication, but at almost every appointment I was reminded that losing weight would help my mental health and chronic pain. She doesnt understand or acknowledge why it's not so easy for me to do this, while living with CFS, PCOS, bursitis and tendinitis in both hips and chronic pain.
Around March I decided to go back to my exercise physiologist because I'd lost so much strength. She gave me some tough love and pointed out something no one else ever had: that I have a significant mental barrier when it comes to rebuilding my physical health. She was right... but hearing it sent me straight into defence mode. I cancelled my next appointments with her, never started my home program, and spiralled.
For context, I work full-time in a mentally demanding job and currently leading projects, so by the time I get home I'm often running on empty. I'm also a wife who manages most of the household and a fur mum to two high-needs dogs. I also play many other roles in my life. I'm genuinely trying my best to juggle everything without pushing my body beyond its limits because, at the end of the day, I'm the one who has to live in this body.
June-July 2026: My mental health took another turn. My OCD symptoms felt like they were escalating again. I went back to my GP and told her being on the highest dose, I began experiencing paranoia, my depression worsened, and I still couldn't sleep without the antipsychotic the psychiatrist thought I'd be able to stop once my antidepressants were increased.
Because of all this, I decided I wanted to see the psychiatrist again, but the follow-up appointment was going to cost $632 for just 30 minutes. I said, f**k that.
Instead, I got a referral to another psychiatrist whose website said he was accepting new patients. I finally felt hopeful. After going through the referral process, I was told he wasn't taking on "many new patients" after all and was advised to return to the first psychiatrist.
I was absolutely livid.
Thankfully, my psychologist has continued to advocate for me. She recommended another psychiatrist for my GP to refer me to and also wrote a detailed supplementary letter outlining our work together since 2022, explaining why my presentation is atypical. Reading it was incredibly validating because it put into words everything we've been trying to explain for the last two years.
Over the last few weeks, I've been weaning off my medication. So far, the side effects have been relatively minor, a bit of nausea, one migraine, and periods where my head feels like it's spinning or I'm having an out-of-body experience.
I'm now down to my last few doses before starting a new medication. I'm nervous about the side effects, but more than that, I'm exhausted. I've been doing this for years, and I know deep down that medication alone isn't addressing whatever is really going on.
Right now, anger and frustration are sitting front and centre.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading.
And if you're someone who's constantly fighting to be heard, constantly advocating for yourself ... I see you 💛
