08/08/2026
RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIPS — ARE YOU GIVING, OR ARE YOU ACTUALLY CONNECTING?
Something that has been coming up a lot in my work lately is reciprocal relationships.
And it has also made me reflect on my own life.
When you are a carer, it can be very easy to become the giver.
You organise.
You listen.
You support.
You check in.
You make sure everyone else is okay.
And before you know it, the relationship can become one-sided.
The tricky part is that resentment doesn't always appear straight away.
It can build slowly.
A little disappointment here.
A feeling of not being heard there.
Another time when you needed someone and they weren't available.
Another conversation where you listened, but nobody stopped to ask how you were.
Until eventually, the little things aren't so little anymore.
And this is where I think awareness and communication become so important.
Reciprocity doesn't necessarily mean everything has to be 50/50 all the time.
There will be seasons in every relationship where one person needs more support than the other.
But over time, there needs to be a sense that both people matter.
Both people get to speak.
Both people get to be heard.
Both people get to have needs.
Both people get to feel valued.
We have so many different relationships in our lives — family, partners, friends, colleagues, clients and communities.
And sometimes we forget that we are interacting with a whole human being whose life may be completely different from what we can see on the surface.
So perhaps this is a little reminder to slow down and be more present with each other.
Ask the question.
And then actually listen to the answer.
Put the phone down.
Pause before responding.
Let someone finish their sentence.
Ask, "How are YOU really going?"
And equally, if you're always the giver, perhaps it's time to become aware of whether you are allowing others to give to you too.
Because sometimes resentment isn't telling us that someone is a terrible person.
Sometimes it's telling us that a pattern in the relationship needs our attention.
And learning to communicate those needs earlier — rather than waiting until we're angry, hurt or completely depleted — can change everything.
Now, confession time...
People ghosting is probably my pet favourite. 😂
Nothing quite says, "Let's avoid having an adult conversation," like disappearing into the ether.
But I'm curious...
What's a trait, behaviour or action in relationships that gets YOUR blood boiling?
And perhaps more importantly...
What might that reaction be trying to tell you about one of your own needs or boundaries?