02/05/2026
[The Long Journey Home – The Japanese Soldier]
A journal about Re-processing a Dreamwork that was done in 2016.
More than a decade ago, when I first began my inner journey, I broke away from the emotional manipulation and entanglement of my uncle, I left almost in flight, renting a place at Rifle Range in Penang. Rifle Range is the area which the brutality of the Japanese shooting the local adults but feeding the children, giving them love & attentions. A confusing psychological brainwash situation.
One night, I had a dream:
In the dream, my uncle was chasing me, trying to pull me back home. I ran with all my strength until I reached a dead end. When I turned around, he was gone. In his place stood a Japanese soldier.
With sorrow and despair etched across his face, he spoke to me in Chinese: “You betrayed me.” Then he raised his gun and fired.
It felt terrifyingly real—like standing at the edge of death.
I no longer remember how I worked through that dream back then. But recently, I felt its calling for deeper attention, so Madhu guided me through the process again.
When I stepped into the role of the soldier, I felt a surge of hatred toward women. I pointed a gun at “myself,” shouting, condemning, even wanting to kill this version of me. The first connection that arose was the early dynamic between my parents in this lifetime—especially my father’s violent temperament in his youth.
Then, as the “soldier” was guided to face my uncle, something shifted. He was overcome with grief and began to cry. He seemed to “see” fragments of helpless moments during World War II—brief encounters with my uncle, and a quiet tenderness toward him as a child. The soldier’s anger softened into sorrow.
Next, I stepped into my uncle’s position. I felt his fear, his timidity—how he survived by avoiding resistance against the Japanese soldiers. At the same time, witnessing their brutal violence toward adults, yet their unexpected gentleness toward children, created a deep inner conflict. This confusion felt like the beginning of a split psyche.
When Madhu guided me back into the “soldier,” the grief deepened. I cried uncontrollably, words emerging on their own:
“I want to go home. I want to return to Japan, to see my parents. My wife… she has remarried. Only now do I realize—I am already dead.”
Madhu then called upon Archangel Michael to guide the soldier into the light, closing the door between worlds, asking him not to linger here any longer.
⸻
This experience opened a wider, more perspective of insight within me:
I came to better understand the roots of my uncle’s inner fragmentation. Some of my anger softened, making space for compassion and release.
In the soldier, I recognized an immature aspect of my own inner masculinity: rigid, harsh, fixated on purity and perfection, trapped in black-and-white extreme thinking.
I also saw how my parents’ early relationship patterns continued to echo through my own past relationships, repeating in viscous cycles.
And finally, I sensed something beyond myself: a fragment of the soldier’s soul, like a discordant from another dimension. The war had ended. He returned to where he belonged. He accepted that his wife had remarried, and the burden of betrayal was finally released.
Conclusions:
Dreamwork is a multidimensional process that involves dissecting all the aspects of ourselves that affects our life, through proper guided conversations & acting we are able to digest every facets of those issues that blocking our well beings, thus freeing us from being trapped in the same destructive behavioural patterns again.
Only the awareness itself isn’t enough but it takes stronger will force (which can be transformed from anger, in a constructive way) to shift the deep rooted patterns.
Meeka
2-5-26