The Connection Agency

03/06/2026

Head about to explode? No time to do any deep work? 1 hour massage of your choice (remedial, relaxation, deep tissue, sports injury) with just a sprinkle of woo woo energy healing and chakra re balancing so you’re ready to roll into the chaos again!

👉 $120

👉 morning and afternoon appointments

📞 0494568028

03/06/2026

01/06/2026

31/05/2026

Whilst my last few posts have been all about poking fun at myself as well as offering some pretty cool info, this one is a little deeper.

The prevalence of men and women struggling at the moment, people feeling stuck, broken, empty and lost in their lives keeps turning up for me again and again in the work I do. I probably get 5 emails/texts or calls A DAY from people struggling with these feelings.

It would be easy to waffle on about why, but then I stopped, reflected on my own life and called in my no bulls*it policy. I asked myself the question "why does this feel like such an epidemic at the moment" and it forced me to look back at my own journey, my own experiences and use them as a base to understand.

So, here goes.

I know what it's like to suffer abuse at the hands of others from a very early age

I understand the mind f*ck that situations of emotional abandonment and neglect cause

I understand the self-punishment we so easily treat ourselves with - because we've suffered so much, we don't know how to hold ourselves and regulate our own emotions

I understand that when we then become parents, have mortgages, bills, partners, bosses and jobs that suck the life out of us ..... and all the while, while "life" is building................. so is the resentment and anger sitting inside us,

We just get f*cking consumed with trying to be breathe, get s**t right, keep the balls in the air, live up to the expectations of others and most importantly avoid the scary beast inside that we are too scared to poke - but which is knocking on the door to our mind every day.

And you know the funny thing, you can't tell from the outside because this picture of me is when I was probably really close to the edge of completely loosing myself.

We feel like we are drowning, losing all comprehension of who we are, what we want, what it simply feels like to be happy - and in many moments I would have just accepted ... calm, not happy, just a feeling of being in control of what was inside of me tearing me apart slowly.

Loosing ourselves is an insidious thing.

Its soooo easy to lose ourselves to not only the pain, but also in the busy-ness of keeping it all at bay, mostly because we don't know where to start, how to unpack it. And that makes it worse cause we're just PILING ON ourselves at this point.

So, we stay in overwhelm and disconnection - we push people away, we don't show up for ourselves, we don't stop to look at what's actually happening in our lives, we just push forward in the stupor of pain and confusion like a fu*king robot doing all the things ........ and feeling NOTHING.

I've spent 40 years working my own sh*t out, and I understand - for me anyway - what were the critical things I did to start to turn it all around.

If you're lost, broken, stuck, suffocating ... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please reach out to someone, don't every hesitate to reach out to me for a session .......................or even text me to set up a chat about where you're at.

My work exists, my clinic exists to help kick start the process with nothing but compassion and understanding and a whole lot of body work, woo woo and energy!

0494 568028

Samm xx

30/05/2026

Hiya!

I just wanted to let all my amazing clients know that I’ll only have appointments available from June 9th until July 2nd as I’m heading off into the Australian wild outback to deepen my training and connections with healers and sacred spaces.

I will be back in my clinic with a lot more healing ❤️‍🩹 from approx the mid October ….. so if you’ve been planning an appointment for yourself or a loved one, I think you’ll need to be quick

If I don’t see you before I go, I wanted to let you know how privileged I feel that you trusted me with your body and story.

I’ll be posting on the road so you can stay connected with my shenanigans on my FB page. And if you ever need support or a chat I’ll be there for you when signal allows.

Keep burning your sage and playing with your crystals in true WOO WOO!

Love, light and woo woo 😎😁

Samm

28/05/2026

I was down at Lammermoor again the other day seeing if my red hot sageing had driven off the creeper and I thought, why not step it up a bit, maybe take some crystals and do a bit of WOO WOO?

So, I built a little alter and had a dance around my crystal like a mad woman to cleanse away the creeper energy .......and that got me thinking again about the WOO WOO .... of crystals.

Did you know that clear quartz (known as silicon dioxide (SiO₂), is a naturally occurring mineral renowned for its high transparency, mechanical strength, and piezoelectric properties. Yes that's right - piezoelectric properties.

These properties mean that clear quartz is essential in items such as ultrasound machines and watches because of its ability to direct precise energy. For instance ..... in ultrasound imaging, piezoelectric quartz crystals convert electrical signals into high-frequency sound waves. These waves propagate into tissues, and echoes are recorded to form detailed images of internal structures of your body.

BOOM!🧙‍♀️ WOO WOO into Science.

Did you know it's also used in watches because of its ability to convert electrical energy to precise mechanical vibrations? It maintains consistent thermal and mechanical properties, generates precise electrical signals when stressed (piezoelectric effect) AND vibrates at extremely stable frequencies when electrical energy is applied (resonance).

Soooo ... if clear quartz is an exacting and precise crystal that can control precise energy vibrations, and quantum physics tells us EVERYTHING is energy - then you've got a pretty cool mineral to play with.

So, if you have anti woo woo friends or family who give you s**t about your crystal collection, you can tell them to f*ck off 🖕 and tell them they can't have a watch or go for an ultrasound without it.

I love it so much that sometimes when I'm called to, I embed crystals into my massage table to amplify the healing and energy woo woo that goes on in a session... sometimes it's clear quartz, sometimes it's rose quartz, sometimes it something else and once the session is finished, those crystals get gifted to my client.

Sessions are now available from mid-June so if you or your body need some woo woo, if you need to do some healing or are going to going mad if you don't find a way to quiet the mind and body, give me a call.

And remember people, if you want to show up here with hate on your horns or throw some shade, thats all about you and nothing about me.

🧘‍♀️0494 568 028

23/05/2026

I was burning some red-hot sage at Lammermoor Beach the other day to ward of that f*cking MF who keeps preying on women to try and satisfy the deep and dark emptiness he must have inside.

And that got me thinking about the WOO WOO of sageing (or is it spelt saging? .. sagging .... no that's what my b***s do ..... anyway, you get my drift).

Turns out that the WOO WOO of sageing isn't all woo woo. It's true that the burning of sage has been practiced by innumerable indigenous and non-indigenous groups and cultures across the world in sacred ceremonies to cleanse spaces, renew energy and all the awesome woo woo things. BUT a recent study published in the Journal of Ethnopharmacology has found that burning sage indoors can reduce air borne bacteria by as much as 94%, with some effects lasting well beyond the activity of the burning itself.

Scientists have proven that the naturally occurring compounds released during the burning of sage contribute to strong antimicrobial properties that MASSIVELY reduce airborne bacteria in our homes, offices or any other indoor spaces.

That's pretty cool given we live in a place that gets really humid sometimes - triggering mould and other bacteria in our homes to have their own little party. Now I'm not saying sageing kills mould ... but it has just been proven to really tidy up the quality of air in your home.

It is important that you have the windows open so the sh*t quality air can escape with the smoke, so you don't go and hot house yourself with lots of dead bacteria floating around inside.

So this is super cool news ... and then when you add the WOO WOO of it ... cleansing out the energies that have got to go, clearing sacred spaces ......and however else you use it ... its pretty cool!

So, next time your anti woo woo friends give you grief about sageing, you can hit them with some science and tell them to 🖕🖕off.

Sometimes I use sage in my sessions with clients when its needed to really clear things away for them, not always just sometimes. So not only are they getting an energy clearing, but I'm also cleaning up any airborne fu***rs floating about in my clinic.

* image below is of my new sage gun that I'll be using for all the woo woo haters and also that creep at Lammermoor. Remember people, if you wanna turn up with shade, the hate on your horns is all about you, and nothing about me. Namaste

21/05/2026

My post the other day caused quite the stir, both in good and bad ways. Alot of people reached out wanting to know more about what I do. A few people took the opportunity to try and project their sh*tty world onto me while I'm just here doing my thing, helping people.

So, here's a little unhinged bio I've whipped up with nothing but a happy soul and a little 🖕to the haters 🤣.

Samm 👉 Channeler of WOO WOO - Owner of some super magic hands for broken bodies - Compassion dealer to the emotionally distraught - Harbinger of positive change

I play with energy, I heal, I bring joy and I definitely get excited about feathers and crystals.

I'm part healer, part dealer of support and compassion, definitely on the wild spirit side, love loud vibey music. Also widely known for caring and supporting others whilst concurrently not taking s**t and doing things my way.

Do you need a f*cking cuppa and a bex to deal with the world???

I'm ya girl.

Don't even know where to start in trying to fix the steaming pile of crap you may have been dealt?

I'm ya girl!

Clinically proven side effects of a session with me:

🙌 feelings of joy
🙌 getting off the table and saying things like "f*ckn hell, I feel amazing .... or "I can't explain how I feel but .. wow" ... I also hear "incredible"...... ALOT

Currently accepting clients who:

👉 Can't even verbalise where to start about where they are at
👉 Know they need something but have no idea what
👉 Feel broken and need a safe space to land ... you're welcome to just walk in and f*cking fall apart (it happens and I am soooo cool with it)
👉 People who also just wants a fckn GREAT massage (you don't HAVE to be broken)
👉 Male and Female clients




And if you're one of my clients, jump on and let me know how I've helped ... your support might just give someone who's struggling the confidence to reach out.

And if you're one of those really unhappy people that have to throw shade.................. just know that when you turn up with hate on your horns ... its all about you and nothing about me 🤣

I'm here for all the broken

📞0494 568028

19/05/2026

💫2.5 hour "you time" reset session OR a simple 1 hour of remedial, sports injury or relaxation massage.

You chose ..

🤲Appointments available for end of May and early June now.

👇0494 568028

19/05/2026

A question I get asked ALOT when clients come for their session is ... what the hell is a PEMF mat and what does it do? A key reason I include it in my sessions is the Adenosine and ANTI INFLAMMTION connection.

An important part of inflammation reduction and control is through the molecule Adenosine, which is a building block for RNA (Ribonucleic Acid which is crucial for all cells as its carries out the instructions of the DNA), as well as being part of the energy molecule ATP (Adenosine Triphosphate) which is known as the 'molecular unit of currency" as its found in all forms of life as is part of cellular energy production.

Clinical studies have shown that PEMF therapy reduces inflammation in the body. Simple, effective, non-invasive and when you couple this with my 2.5-hour treatment including a far infra-red sauna, full body massage and reiki .... the effects are AMAZING. Down regulate, reduce stress .... feel fu***ng amazing as one client put it :-).

Limited spots available now
2.5 hours to reset, breathe and deeply relax.
Space held with care and compassion
Private Clinic
$220