08/26/2026
Realization on Rumination:
I was sitting on my couch journaling today, pen and highlighter in one hand with my journal in the other, and a book that's been left open from the day before on selling energetics.
one of the pages in the book reiterated "the same garbage" about being positive, and when you're positive you attract positive things into your life.
for a long time I believe this,
and tried so hard to escape the negative loop,
yet I was met with disgust, shame, fear and more negative thinking..
my neurodivergent brain just couldn't grasp the fact that "how the f**k am I supposed to be positive all the time?"
well you're not.
however, my curiosity peaked and I was "prompted" to search online "what does quantum physics say about positive thinking and if it plays a role in what we attract in life"
many articles read the same thing...
that quantum physics is in many ways in alignment with manifestation teachings
still, I refuse to believe that a negative thought would send my dreams off a cliff... because that just seems downright ridiculous right?
past me would be so concerned about thinking a negative thought that I would murmur positive affirmations, and when the thought wouldn't go away or I'd experience an influx of thoughts I'd try and push them away with positivity, and still felt like s**t honestly.
so I decided to do some digging and found that it isn't the thoughts you have, but how you feel about them.
and my realization that came through this morning showed me that rumination and overthinking about the same things over and over again only reaches into the past and brings those experiences forward in new bodies, new dimensions, new challenges, jobs or experiences.
they're all the same.
it's all the same.
disguised as something different.
