Healing the Loss

23/07/2026

Hello. Hope your day is good. This drawing has been stuck on my studio wall for a long time - I thought I’d post it.

23/07/2026

"My body, it never feels settled. It's because it is always looking for you. It doesn't understand a world without you."


Perhaps this is one of the hardest parts of grief to explain.
People often think grief lives in our thoughts. That if we could somehow stop thinking about the person we love, the pain might ease.
But grief is not just carried in the mind.
It is carried in the body too.
When someone has been a deep and loved part of your life, your entire nervous system has come to know them. Their presence becomes part of your everyday life in ways you never notice until they are gone. Your body learns the sound of their voice, the way they move through your home, the places they belong, the expectation that they exist in your tomorrow.
Then, in a single moment, everything changes.
Your mind, may in time understand they have died. It seems our bodies may not.
It continues to expect what it has always known. It continues to search, not because it has forgotten the truth, but because every part of you developed around a life in which they existed.
Perhaps this is why grief feels so restless.
Why your chest never quite relaxes.
Why silence feels different.
Why home no longer feels the same.
It is not simply sadness. It is a nervous system trying to make sense of a reality that contradicts everything it has learnt about the world.
People often ask whether we ever recover from this.
Perhaps recovery is the wrong question.
Our bodies were never designed to erase someone we loved so deeply. Instead, over time, they slowly learn to live with the impossible. The searching may become quieter. The moments of alarm may become less constant. But something fundamental has changed.
Not because we are unwilling to let go.
But because love has changed us.
The body eventually adapts to the absence.
But it never stops remembering the presence.
Artist Credit: Unknown AI mofified via Pinterest

21/07/2026

When an older adult dies, grief is often minimized.
People assume the loss should be easier to accept because of age, illness, or the idea that the death was “expected.”

But even when a death is anticipated, the loss can still be shocking.
And the grief can still be profound.

Phrases like:
“At least they lived a good life.”
“At least they aren’t suffering anymore.”
“At least it was quick.”

are often meant to comfort, but they can land as dismissal.

So can the reflexive question:
“How old were they?”

When age becomes the focus, what gets lost is the relationship.
The bond that was severed.
The person who mattered.

Grief isn’t measured in years lived.
It’s measured in love.

What helps instead is centering the connection, not the timeline:
“I know how much they meant to you.”
“It’s okay to miss them deeply, no matter how long or full their life was.”
“Tell me about them. What do you miss most?”

Because no matter someone’s age,
their absence still changes everything.

21/07/2026

Walking into a room shouldn't take that much effort. But it does.

19/07/2026

https://open.substack.com/pub/hilaryscott/p/the-quiet-grief-of-former-lives?r=hc49l&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Small windows-when everyone was still here...

19/07/2026

On the days when no one but you mentions their name, I am so, so sorry. Say their name bravely. They are still real. They are still part of you. They are still yours.
- Scribbles & Crumbs

There will be days when no one says their name.

Not because they didn't matter.

Not because they have been forgotten on purpose.

But because time has carried other people forward in ways it never could for you.

Friends become busy. Families grow. Workplaces change. Conversations move on. The world keeps turning, often without realising that yours stopped the day your loved one died.

For those living with grief, that can be one of the quietest heartbreaks.

It isn't simply that no one mentioned them today. It's the painful reminder that while life has continued around us, our love never stopped. Our child, our sibling, our grandchild, our partner, our parent, our friend... they are still part of our everyday lives. We carry them into every morning, every milestone, every ordinary moment and every tomorrow.

The silence can make us wonder if anyone else still remembers.

The truth is, most people don't stay silent to be unkind. They don't realise that hearing your loved one's name is often a gift, not a reminder. They assume they might upset you, when in reality, it is far more painful to feel as though the person we love has quietly disappeared from conversation.

The people we love do not stop belonging to us because they died.

They are still a huge part of our lives.
Still part of our families.
Still part of our story.
And they always will be.

So on the days when no one but you speaks their name, we are so deeply sorry.
Please don't let that silence convince you that they no longer matter.

Say their name bravely.
Share their story.
Speak about them with love.
Because they are still real.
They are still part of you.
They are still yours.
- Artist Credit: Amanda Cass via Pinterest

16/07/2026

💯

Healingtheloss.com

14/07/2026

Sometimes summer is the hardest season to grieve.

The world seems to be celebrating. Family gatherings, weddings, vacations, backyard barbecues, holidays, and photos of smiling faces fill our social media feeds. Meanwhile, you may be quietly wondering how everyone else seems to have moved on while your world feels forever changed.

Grief has a way of making us feel isolated, even when we are surrounded by people.

Many people think grief support is only for the death of a loved one. In reality, grief can follow any significant loss. The death of a spouse, partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend. A life-changing diagnosis. The end of a relationship. Becoming a caregiver. The loss of health, independence, identity, or the future you imagined. Retirement. Empty nesting. Any life event that leaves you asking, How do I move forward from this?

You don't have to "be over it." You don't have to explain why you're still struggling. You don't have to grieve the way others think you should.

Sometimes what helps most is having someone who understands grief, will listen without trying to fix you, and can help you better understand what you're experiencing.

If you're wondering whether grief support might be helpful, I offer a complimentary 30-minute discovery conversation with no obligation.

Learn more at www.healingtheloss.com

Grief can feel isolating. I offer compassionate support, practical tools, and education to help you navigate loss and integrate its impact into your life.
Support • Navigation • Education

13/07/2026

https://open.substack.com/pub/hilaryscott/p/hows-your-grief?r=hc49l&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Summer can be a very complex time.

13/07/2026

For support please go to:
www.healingtheloss.com