Julie Cryns - Grief Specialist & End of Life Doula

07/13/2026

Grief is often so much more than missing the person who has gone.

When someone dies, it can impact so many parts of our life and self... 💜

https://ow.ly/TiMA50ZkGh4

07/10/2026

Thank you to Refuge In Grief for this reminder. Grief is a human experience, that's all. Sharing or connecting with others can, indeed, lessen the weight, but ultimately, we will find our own way through it. Nobody else can fully understand what it feels like to you.

Do you feel pressure to “do something” with your grief? You’re not alone.

All of our cultural stories are stories of transformation, of redemption. But pain is not always redeemed, in the end or otherwise.

Being brave is not about overcoming what hurts or turning it into a gift.

Being brave is about waking to face each day when you would rather just stop waking up.

Being brave is staying present to your own heart when that heart is shattered into a million different pieces and can never be made right.

We all need a place where we can tell the truth about how hard this is. My monthly group is a great place to connect with other grieving people. And get your questions answered.

Sign up at patreon.com/megandevine

We meet every 4th Thursday, and sessions are always recorded for later viewing.

01/07/2026

Survival in Early Grief Has a Very Small Circumference. It’s Not an Ordinary Time, and Ordinary Rules Do Not Apply.

01/07/2026

01/05/2026

This is what it can look like after someone dies on hospice at home.
An empty bed.
A quiet room.
Lights off because nothing else needs doing yet.

Death doesn’t immediately trigger urgency the way movies suggest.
There is time.
As they teach us in death doula classes, "Put the kettle on...". There is time.

After death, hospice will confirm it, either in person or by phone, depending on your care plan and the state rules. Once death is pronounced, the body is legally allowed to remain in the home for hours. You are not required to call the funeral home right away.

Here are some things that may happen in that space between death and removal and all of them are normal:

• The body will begin to cool
• The skin may become pale or mottled
• The jaw may relax and the mouth may open slightly
• The eyes may remain partially open
• There may be small releases of air or fluid
• The room may feel very still, emotionally and physically

You can take this time if you want it.
You can sit on the bed.
You can hold their hand.
You can wash their face, brush their hair, say prayers, talk to them, or say nothing at all.
You can open a window.
You can let the room be exactly as quiet as it needs to be.

There is no rush unless you want there to be one.

When you’re ready, hospice or the funeral home will handle the next steps. Until then, this space belongs to you, not paperwork, not timelines, not logistics.

No alarms.
No countdown.
Just the pause after a life has ended and before the world starts moving again.

If you’ve never seen this part before, that’s okay.
Most people haven’t.

12/31/2025

You're not alone if you find yourself wishing 2025 wasn't about to end. Then you wouldn't reach the sickening point of having to say "they died last year."

We discuss this and lots of other experiences inside grief during my monthly support group, exclusively on Patreon. Join us at patreon.com/megandevine
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On the flip side, if you're looking forward to putting this year behind you — OR if you feel conflicted about the passage of time — wanting things to slow down while also wanting an awful year to be over — all of that is too.

06/29/2025

Hazel ❤️ Thank you to acre puppies for this lovely girl.

05/05/2025

This. For all of you who need to read it right now. I think he describes it well.
You will learn to integrate it into your life. You will be okay.

Jim Carrey once said: Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided.

In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay.

Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember.

There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience.

Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.

02/26/2025

https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/education-resources/end-of-life-conversations/?fbclid=IwY2xjawIsI5JleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHRiJCh8A0PHcgjto3a4xZK9JxfWb2FyydsTNnZhd4AMpBYCcUdMrUWu1kA_aem_wZSLHAtEgJyWxxnWkSMoLg
End of Life conversations are an opportunity and a legacy.
Dying With Dignity Canada Please share with anyone who might be able to use this resource.

Developed in collaboration with the End of Life Doula Association of Canada (EOLDAC), this resource provides insights into common challenges surrounding end-of-life conversations and tips for having those discussions with your loved ones.

02/21/2025

So many people could use this information. I hope you do.

🧠 Dementia and Sensory Deprivation: Why Sitting in a Dark, Silent Room Is Basically the Worst Idea Ever 🧠

Hey, Dementia Caregivers Corner family! Let’s talk about something sneaky that can make dementia symptoms way worse—isolation and sensory deprivation. Yep, loneliness and a lack of stimulation don’t just make people feel bored; they can actually cause cognitive decline to speed up like a toddler running toward an open bag of candy. 🍭🏃‍♂️

But don’t worry—I’ve got some quirky (and surprisingly effective) ways to keep your loved one’s brain engaged and thriving.
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🚪 1. Isolation: The Dementia Gremlin’s Best Friend

Leaving someone with dementia alone too much is like leaving milk in the fridge for six months—things are gonna get real funky. Social interaction is crucial for keeping their mind engaged and their mood stable.

👉 What to do:

• Invite family and friends over frequently. Bonus points if they bring cake. 🍰

• Video calls! (Yes, even if Grandma only stares at the phone like it’s a UFO.) 📱👽

• If no one's around, try social pets—dogs, cats, or even a therapy chicken. 🐓 (Hey, some people swear by them!)
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🎶 2. Sensory Deprivation: When Life Becomes a Beige Waiting Room

Imagine watching your favorite movie on mute, in black and white, with no subtitles. That’s what sensory deprivation feels like for someone with dementia. Their brain needs constant input to keep functioning well.

👉 What to do:

• Music therapy! If they loved Elvis, blast some hip-shaking tunes. If they were more into Bach, well… time to get classy. 🎵🕺

• Touch-based activities! Soft blankets, fidget toys, or a nice hand massage (or let them pet that therapy chicken you just got). 🐔👐

• Good smells = good moods. Use essential oils or bake cookies—because let’s be real, warm cookies solve 92% of life’s problems. 🍪
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📺 3. TV Can Be Your Frenemy (Choose Wisely!)

Leaving the news channel on all day? Bad idea. That’s basically like feeding their anxiety a protein shake. Instead, pick things that bring joy and don’t stress them out.

👉 What to do:

• Classic comedies: The Golden Girls, I Love Lucy, or Mr. Bean (because a man falling down is universally funny). 😂📺

• Nature documentaries: Bonus points if narrated by David Attenborough—his voice could calm a stressed-out sloth. 🌿🦥

• Old home videos: Sure, some might feature tragic 70s fashion, but nostalgia is a great memory booster. 👖💿
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👅 4. Taste and Smell: Why Eating Should Still Be Fun

Food is one of life’s greatest joys, but people with dementia often lose interest in eating. That’s like someone losing interest in breathing—it’s kind of a big deal.

👉 What to do:

• Serve colorful meals—no one gets excited about a plate of beige. 🌈🍽️

• Play "Guess That Smell!" with spices. (Warning: Don’t do this with garlic powder unless you want them to think Dracula is coming.) 🧄🧛‍♂️

• Make meals social. Eating alone is no fun, but eating with company? That’s an event. 🍷👫
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🚶 5. Movement = Brain Fuel

If your loved one is just sitting all day, their brain is basically in hibernation mode. They don’t need to run a marathon, but they do need to move a little.

👉 What to do:

• Chair exercises. Perfect for anyone who thinks yoga is just a way to hurt yourself slowly. 🪑🧘

• Dance parties. Because no one is too old to shimmy. 💃🕺

• Nature walks. If they can go outside safely, fresh air works wonders. If not, open a window, because stale air is just sad air. 🌳🌞
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💡 The Bottom Line: Keep Their World BIG, Not Small!

People with dementia may lose some abilities, but they don’t lose the need for joy, interaction, and sensory experiences. Isolation and boredom are the true villains, and you, my friend, are the superhero who can fight them. 🦸‍♀️

So let’s keep things colorful, musical, interactive, and full of love—because life should never be as boring as waiting at the DMV. 💜💜