Soul Haven Counselling

06/07/2026

Today is Canadian Armed Forces Day. It is a day that is dedicated to showing appreciation and thanks for all our serving military personnel, Veterans and their families. We are proud and thankful for your service, sacrifices and dedication to Canada.

Thank you alone is not enough. We are forever grateful.



Canadian Armed Forces

06/03/2026

Some people spent their whole childhood being told:

“But that’s your mother.”

“But that’s your father.”

“But that’s family.”

As if blood automatically made a person safe.

As if sharing DNA erased the damage.

As if being related to someone meant your nervous system was supposed to ignore the fear.

But some families do not feel like home.

They feel like walking on eggshells.

They feel like swallowing your truth to keep the peace.

They feel like being blamed for reacting to pain you did not create.

They feel like learning to smile in rooms where your body is quietly begging you to leave.

And then the world tells you to forgive.

To forget.

To call them back.

To be the bigger person.

But sometimes “being the bigger person” is just another way people ask you to abandon yourself quietly.

You are not wrong for wanting distance from people who keep reopening your wounds.

You are not cold for protecting your peace.

You are not ungrateful for naming what hurt you.

And you are not broken because your body knows the difference between relatives and safety.

Family is not only blood.

Family is behavior.

Family is emotional safety.

Family is where your truth does not become a weapon used against you.

Family is where your nervous system can finally exhale.

If this reached the part of you that still feels guilty for needing boundaries, I Didn’t Choose to Be Born was written for you.

It goes deeper into childhood trauma, dysfunctional family dynamics, emotional neglect, the mother wound, the father wound, and the survival patterns we develop just to be loved.

Link in bio.

05/31/2026

05/30/2026

Questioning the why really helped me make some powerful changes in my life. Highly recommended!

05/27/2026

After school emotional dysregulation and collapse.

05/18/2026

Do you recognize yourself in these thoughts?:
👉 “I should just be trying harder to make this work.”
👉 “This should be enough for me."
👉 “This worked for me for so long. Why am I unhappy now?”
👉 “It’s ungrateful to want more than what I have.”

Instead, what would it be like to imagine:
👉 "The needs and feelings that have been trying to get my attention deserve to be heard."
👉 "Outgrowing a life that doesn't meet my needs is not an inner failure to be 'fixed' ⁠— it's a personal evolution to be honored."
👉 "I give myself permission to acknowledge that this chapter feels misaligned⁠⁠—and I am courageous enough to explore ways to either make it more aligned, or leave it."

As we begin connecting with our authentic selves after years of self-suppression, many of us face the uncomfortable choice of continuing to stay in a situation we’ve outgrown—or daring to follow our hearts to something new.

On May 27, join me at my hands-on workshop From Outgrowing to Becoming: Finding Meaning and Clarity When You’re Outgrowing a Chapter of Life.

We’ll help you make sense of this moment in your story—
understanding what this time might be asking of you—
and learning how to hone your self-trust so that whatever path you pick, it’s in service of who you’re becoming.

Comment "workshop" and I'll send you all the link to learn more & sign up!

05/18/2026

Trauma survivors are often judged by systems that were built around the assumption that memory is linear, immediate, and emotionally neutral. But, trauma changes how memory is stored and recalled.

In courtrooms, police interviews, custody battles, and investigations, survivors are frequently seen as ‘inconsistent’ when their memories come out fragmented, delayed, ‘emotional’, or incomplete. In reality, these are some of the most documented effects of trauma.

The justice system too often mistakes trauma responses for dishonesty. A survivor may remember sensations before sequences. Fear before facts. Fragments before timelines. That does not make the trauma less real.

What many survivors actually need is not interrogation, punishment, or disbelief. They need trauma-informed care. Safety. Stabilization. Advocacy. Therapy. Regulation support. Compassionate interviewing. Time.

Healing cannot happen in systems that demand perfect recall from a nervous system stuck in survival mode.

05/18/2026

‘Attention’ can be a survival need, especially for those who have experienced trauma, neglect, loneliness, or emotional invalidation. Children who didn’t receive safe, consistent attention often grow into adults who fear asking for support directly.

Not all coping skills look healthy, but that doesn’t mean the pain underneath isn’t real. Before labeling behavior as manipulative or ‘attention-seeking,’ consider the possibility of unmet emotional needs, unseen wounds, and a person simply trying to feel heard, valued, or safe.

The biggest change of viewpoint I ever went through in psych training was when I said “but what if they’re doing it for attention” and my supervisor was like “what’s wrong with needing attention?” and I realised I didn’t have an answer. By