07/13/2026
Many clients come to therapy already having the answers. They can..
- map out the root of their issues, behaviours and feelings,
- label their feelings as “good” or “bad”,
-or give you a play-by-play of their worst memory, as if they are reading a handbook.
But understanding your feelings is not the same as feeling them.
What does it mean to ACTUALLY feel your feelings?
It means noticing where those emotions show up in your body, getting curious about them, and meeting what you notice with compassion.
Whether that be a shake, muscle tension, or a teary feeling in your eyes.
Sounds uncomfortable? It can be.
But feeling your feelings isn’t about flooding yourself with years worth of hurt, but learning how to build your capacity for distress in small, safe doses.
So you feel less of an urge to shut down, dissociate, hide away, or rely on substances.
For people that have spent most of their lives silenced, this process can feel deeply empowering, as they learn how to build self-trust in their ability to cope.
Avoiding your pain can be helpful in the moment, but in attempting to dial back uncomfortable feelings,
You end up dialling back joy and love.
In therapy, you can learn how to befriend whatever shows up, meeting it with the same care you would offer an old friend💛
❗️ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ❗️ : In cases of trauma, the process is far more complex than simply "feeling your feelings." Although building tolerance is an important skill, trauma work often involves creating safety, self-regulation, memory reconsolidation, and learning how to build connections)
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Disclaimer: Although this post is coming from a counselling page, it’s for educational/ entertainment purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy💛