06/01/2026
June marks PTSD Awareness Month, a crucial time to shed light on a reality that impacts countless lives, often in silent and profound ways.
I'm a 42year old ex police officer turned coach.
This is what I would tell my younger self...
1: Presence is the only gift that can't be bought or made up for later. I wasn't present during my police career and that's a regret.
2: Policing is a job not your identity. You're dispensible at work but indispensible at home.
3: Trauma doesn't announce Itself, it just quietly changes who you are. I didn't notice myself getting harder, colder, more distant. It crept in. The greatest act of self-awareness I ever had was admitting I wasn't okay. Do It earlier than I did.
4: The people who celebrate your wins loudly but vanish in your losses they were never really in your corner. Real support network people show up when things are ugly. Vet your circle not by who's around when you're winning, but who's still there when you're not.
5: Asking for help is the most underrated trait in policing, business and life there is. I spent years trying to figure everything out alone. Pride dressed up as self-sufficiency. The day I started asking better people better questions, everything changed.
6: Consistency as a mommy is more powerful than any grand gesture.The school runs. The bedtime stories.The Saturday mornings when you could be working. Kids don't remember the holidays as much as they remember whether you showed up on ordinary days.
7: You will not build anything great a business, a family, a police career, a legacy without being genuinely uncomfortable for long stretches of time. Discomfort isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. It's usually a sign you're doing something that matters. Sit in it. Don't run from it.
8: Fear of failure is the biggest killer of dreams. I allowed fearing failure stop me in policing and in my business.
9: Your health is the single most important thing you have. Sadly many people only realise this when they no longer have good health. Don't allow policing or life take it away.
10: You cannot pour from an empty cup and no one will tell you when you're empty. The inner person screams "push through." Nobody checks on the checker. I learned this the hard way in policing and life. Rest isn't weakness. It's maintenance.
11: Starting a business for me, E.F is the best and most challenging thing I have ever done.
However policing convinces you, that you don't have transferable skills that can be used outside policing. That's completely untrue. You have wonderful qualities and skills. Sometimes It's just a belief issue.
12: The biggest challenge in life is normally inside your own head. So make it a nice place to be.
13: if you're a parent don't underestimate how your behaviors Impact your children's. If you prioritise your health - your children stand a good chance of seeing their health as a priority too and that gift to them is priceless.
14: Don't alm for perfection in life. I used to always be chasing the perfect time, day or moment and wondered why I always fell short. Perfection doesn't exist. Focus on consistency.
15: Life is long and short all at the same time. So don't waste time overthinking or procrastinating. Do that thing, take that opportunity and make each day count.
I wish my younger self knew these things, but learning and making mistakes is part of the rollercoaster of life. Embrace it...🙏🏽
