Lillian Benrubi Psychotherapy

07/20/2026

Sadness often arrives before we fully understand why. It can show up as heaviness in the chest, a short temper, a quiet withdrawal, or the sudden urge to cry in the car after a normal day. Many people treat sadness like a problem to solve quickly. We distract, explain it away, or tell ourselves we should be grateful.

Yet sadness is not a failure of perspective. It is an emotional signal. It tells us that something matters, something has shifted, or something inside us needs care.

When we learn to meet sadness with curiosity, it becomes less frightening. It may still hurt, but it no longer feels like an enemy. It becomes a messenger, one that asks us to slow down and listen.
Sadness shows us what we care about

Sadness often points toward loss, longing, fatigue, or unmet need. Sometimes the loss is obvious, such as the end of a relationship, a death, a move, or a disappointment after hoping for something deeply. Other times, the loss is quieter.

It might be the loss of a version of life we expected.

It might be the distance between who we are and who we have had to become to get through a hard season.

It might be the loneliness of being surrounded by people but not feeling fully known.

A client once noticed this after cancelling a simple weekend plan. On the surface, it was no big deal. The weather was poor, everyone was tired, and rescheduling made sense. Still, she felt unexpectedly low for the rest of the day. At first, she judged the feeling. It seemed too large for the situation.

When shes at with it, she realized the sadness was not really about the cancelled plan. It was about how rarely she had been feeling connected. That small plan had carried more meaning than she readily admitted. It represented ease, laughter, and the chance to feel like herself around people she trusted.

That is one of the quiet gifts of sadness. It reveals value. It says, this mattered.

Sadness may point to:

A relationship that needs attention
A boundary that has been crossed too often
A dream that still matters, even if it feels far away
A need for rest, tenderness, or stability
A part of life that no longer fits....

If you want to learn how ti meet with with curiosity, please follow this link....
https://www.lbenrubipsychotherapy.com/newsletter

03/27/2026

A crisis, whether a relationship break, existential emptiness, financial dissolution, or a dream unfulfilled…can often propel us outward, looking for answers externally. With the abundance of self help tools and literature, religion, and modern spirituality we might still find ourselves feeling hungry for answers.

“When we choose to go through a crisis with
awareness, it ceases to be just a trauma and
becomes a rite of passage”. Yes, something does die, but something is also born in its place.

Perhaps it is an invitation or calling to look within and reconnect to our spirit or intuition. “Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to allow crisis to teach us, break us with purpose, and to rebuild us with a life of truth”.

03/27/2026

A crisis, whether a relationship break, existential emptiness, financial dissolution, or a dream unfulfilled…can often propel us outward, looking for answers externally. With the abundance of self help tools and literature, religion, and modern spirituality we might still find ourselves feeling hungry for answers.

“When we choose to go through a crisis with
awareness, it ceases to be just a trauma and
becomes a rite of passage”. Yes, something does die, but something is also born in its place.

Perhaps it is an invitation or calling to look within and reconnect to our spirit or intuition. “Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to allow crisis to teach us, break us with purpose, and to rebuild us with a life of truth”.

12/06/2025

It may be hard to imagine holding boundaries in a soft and calm manner during the holiday season, but it is possible. The more we respect ourselves and our needs, the more we can respect others while negotiating ours in a self assured and kind way. Give yourself lots of space for the things that bring you joy and peace, and you will find it much easier to approach conflicting needs in a neutral and powerfully effective way.🎄

All the best during this holiday season. Lots of love and care, and positive reflection on your growth in the past year.💫

11/11/2025

Ever wonder how to “really” regulate your emotions? Like…how do I really get there so I can come down from these heightened feelings and have a calm and productive conversation and finally have these issues resolved? Well…here are the first steps. Sounds simple, but the work and the insight is in the practice and being curious about what shows up as you move through them. The “aha” moment, the “getting it” is always in your experience of it…so give it a try or if you want support for yourself or a relationship, click on the link in my bio and set up a consult or appointment to see what’s possible for you and/or your relationship.

11/10/2025

Ever wonder how to “really” regulate your emotions? Like…how do I really get there so I can come down from these heightened feelings and have a calm and productive conversation and finally have these issues resolved? Well…here is the first steps. Sounds simple, but the work and the insight is in the practice and being curious about what shows up as you move through them. If you want support for yourself or a relationship, click on the link in my bio and set up a consult or appointment to see what’s possible for you and/or your relationship.🌸
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11/07/2025

https://www.lbenrubipsychotherapy.com/newsletter

Could You Have Been a Butterfly All Along?

Did you know it is physically impossible for a butterfly to see its own wings? Did you also know that the wings of a butterfly are considered to be one of the most beautiful of nature’s creations? They can’t see how beautiful they are. But everyone else can….I feel like people can be the same way. - DW

11/06/2025

Therapy is a place to slow down, feel safe, and explore yourself with gentle guidance, warmth, and a little lightheartedness.

Growth isn’t always a grand leap forward; often, it’s a tiny shift in awareness, a small act of kindness toward yourself. Maybe it’s noticing your boundaries, or offering patience to a part of you that feels uncertain. What if you gave yourself permission to be curious about your patterns — without judgment, without expectation? Even this simple curiosity can open a quiet door to understanding and connection.

10/24/2025

How do we relate to our feelings? Some clients say “I know it’s stupid to feel this way”, or “It’s embarrassing, ridiculous, immature….”, and so on. What if we stood in “it’s curious”, or “it’s interesting that I have these feelings.”. What we say about our feelings matter. It can be deminishing or empowering. Let’s consciously chose.
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10/24/2025