06/04/2026
In couples therapy, we’re not here to decide who’s right.
We’re here to look at what’s happening between you. And, you might not love hearing it, but, usually, you both play a role in the state of your relationship. Not in a blaming way, but in a co-created way.
The dynamic you’re in didn’t just appear. It was built, over time, through reactions, protections, misattunements, and unmet needs.
For example, one partner pursues and the other withdraws. One raises their voice and the other shuts down. And the cycle continues.
So, the focus isn’t on “who started it”. The focus is on how the pattern keeps going. And, assuming the pattern is "co-created", it can also be shifted, together.
The work starts when you can understand your individual impact and then learning how to respond differently, even when it’s hard.
Thought challenge: what role do you play in your relationship struggles?