09/02/2026
You cannot change a pattern you refuse to recognize.
Sometimes we keep asking:
“Why does this keep happening to me?”
But there is another question that requires much more courage:
“Is there something I keep doing that contributes to what keeps happening?”
That question can change your life.
Maybe you keep saying yes when you really want to say no, then find yourself resentful and depleted.
Maybe you avoid difficult conversations until the conflict becomes much harder to resolve.
Maybe criticism immediately puts you on the defensive.
Maybe rejection causes you to withdraw.
Maybe you make important decisions when you are frustrated, discouraged, exhausted, or emotionally overwhelmed.
When something keeps happening, don't only examine the situation.
Examine the pattern.
In my work with resilience, I have learned that repeated patterns can become repeated withdrawals from our resilience reserves.
The same trigger.
The same reaction.
The same consequence.
The same depletion.
And eventually we wonder why we have so little capacity left.
Self-awareness is not about blaming yourself for everything that happens.
It is about becoming curious enough to ask:
What is this recurring situation teaching me about myself?
Your triggers contain information.
Your reactions contain information.
Your recurring conflicts contain information.
Even the situations that repeatedly drain you may contain information about an anchor that needs strengthening.
Today, pay attention to what keeps repeating.
There may be a pattern waiting to be recognized and a resilience anchor waiting to be strengthened.
What pattern have you become more aware of in yourself as you've grown?
