15/10/2026
First of all, I want to make it clear that I’m not here to judge anyone. I’m far from perfect. I have my own contradictions, my flaws, and certainly plenty of things I still need to learn and improve about myself. But I believe it’s entirely possible to defend freedom while also questioning where its boundaries should lie.
I’m gay, I’ve appeared in adult films, I was a drag queen for thirty years, and today I work as a massage therapist for men. So sexual freedom, diversity, extravagance and open-mindedness have all been very much a part of my life and personal journey!
And yet, there’s one thing that deeply bothers me: when individual freedom starts coming at the expense of respect for others.
I’ve seen men walking completely naked through the streets during certain Pride and Fe**sh Pride events, others engaging in openly sexual behaviour, and even a man tied to a pole on the pavement, waiting for his “master”.
And I genuinely wonder whether, sometimes, we forget that our freedom should also take other people’s freedom into consideration.
Everyone should be free to enjoy their fantasies, their preferences and their sexuality however they wish, as long as it involves consenting adults. I will always be among the first to defend that freedom. But there are clubs, venues, parties and appropriate spaces for these activities.
Public spaces belong to everyone. And consent isn’t just about the people taking part in an activity. It’s also about respecting those who never agreed to witness it.
Families, children, elderly people, or simply passers-by shouldn’t have to become unwilling spectators of explicitly sexual displays.
And please don’t accuse me of being prudish! There is a fundamental difference between proudly embracing your identity, standing up for your rights, expressing your individuality, and turning the streets into a place for sexual exhibitionism.
What also bothers me is the image these behaviours can project onto an entire community. There are millions of LGBTQIA+ people simply living their lives, working, loving, building relationships, and having absolutely no desire to be associated with these excesses.
Over the past few years, I’ve also noticed how LGBTQIA+ issues have increasingly become tools of political confrontation. By constantly claiming to speak on our behalf, fuelling controversy and turning our very existence into a permanent subject of debate, some politicians end up creating tensions whose consequences we are then left to deal with.
Meanwhile, homophobic rhetoric is once again becoming increasingly normalised in many parts of the world.
I refuse to let the behaviour of a minority become an excuse to stereotype an entire community. Of course, none of this justifies homophobia in any way. Those who spread hatred are entirely responsible for it.
We fought for so long to earn the right to live freely, not to force others to become spectators of our private lives.
Pride should remain a symbol of freedom, dignity, diversity and pride. It can be festive, provocative, extravagant, unconventional — and thankfully so! But being provocative doesn’t mean every boundary has to be crossed.
I fully embrace who I am, my past, my sexuality and my freedom. But I believe just as strongly in respecting the freedom of others.
Sexual freedom is a right. Forcing others to witness sexual exhibitionism is not.
And saying so certainly doesn’t make anyone less gay, less open-minded or less committed to equality!
