Mama Talanoa

09/09/2026

Why I decided to become a doula💖

As a first-time mum, I was so excited to meet my baby. I bought all the unnecessary things many first-time mums buy, followed everything I was told to do—and everything I was told not to do—and believed that meant I was prepared.

But no one taught me how to trust myself, my body or my baby. I did not know how to prepare mentally and emotionally for birth or motherhood. I did not know which questions to ask, how to understand my options or how to speak up when something did not feel right.

I entered that birth believing everyone else knew better than I did, and I left feeling unheard, powerless and stripped of my dignity. I experienced a third-degree almost a 4th degree tear and went on to live with undiagnosed postnatal depression for almost five years. Instead of being supported to understand what had happened, I was told it was my fault—that I had pushed when I should not have and many other excuses a first time mum should never have to hear after the birth of her first baby.

That experience stayed with me. Made me feel disconnected with myself and my baby.

When I became pregnant again, I knew I would do everything I could to avoid experiencing that same trauma. I did not want birth to simply happen to me again—I wanted to be an informed and active participant in my own birthing experience. I wanted to understand what was happening, trust my instincts, ask questions and be involved in the decisions being made about my body and my baby.

So, I learned HypnoBirthing, educated myself about birth and began asking all the questions I had not known to ask the first time.

Through HypnoBirthing, I met my beautiful doula.

Her support did not end once my baby was born. She cared for me during those vulnerable early postpartum weeks and helped me feel seen, heard and less alone. I genuinely believe her presence and support played a significant role in why I did not experience postnatal depression the second time around.

That was when I decided I wanted to become a doula, come back home and help all the mama's here in Fiji and the Pasifik.

I knew that if I could offer Pasifika mamas the same care, reassurance and support my doula gave me, it could help so many women feel more informed and empowered—not only during birth, but as they transitioned into motherhood.

As a doula, we do not replace a doctor, midwife or nurse. We provide continuous emotional, physical and practical support throughout pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We help mothers understand their options, ask questions, find comfort measures and feel confident using their voices.

I believe we need more doulas in the Pacific—doulas who understand our cultures, families, communities and the realities of giving birth here. Our Pasifika mamas deserve to feel heard, respected, supported and cared for throughout birth and beyond.

This Thursday at 8pm, I’ll be joining the Mama Talanoa mums to talk about: “Preparing for Birth and Beyond: Simple Support for the Third and Fourth Trimesters.”

We spend so much time preparing for the baby—the clothes, nappies and hospital bag—but tonight I want us to pause and think about how we can also prepare and care for the mother.

I would love for you to join us.

📆Thursday, Sep 10th, 8pm FJT
📍Zoom
💖For all pregnant and postpartum mums

Register via the link below:

https://forms.gle/bFzcovpsZzjpicL16

06/09/2026

“Fatherhood Changed Me — My Story

Becoming a father is one of the biggest changes I have ever experienced. It changed the way I think, the way I handle my emotions, and the way I look at my responsibilities. I realised that being a father is not simply about providing for your child—it is about being present, listening, showing love, and being someone your child can depend on.

I remember one particular day when I was feeling overwhelmed. I had a lot going on in my life, and I was carrying stress that I didn't really talk about. I felt like, as a father, I was supposed to stay strong and not let anyone see that I was struggling.

That evening, I came home feeling exhausted. My child came running towards me with a big smile and simply wanted to spend time with me. We sat together, talked, laughed, and played for a while. It was such a small moment, but it changed my whole perspective.

For those few minutes, I forgot about everything that was stressing me. I realised that my child didn't need a perfect father. They needed me—someone who was there, someone who loved them, and someone who would keep trying.

That moment taught me something important: fathers have emotions too. We can feel tired, worried, stressed, or uncertain, and that doesn't make us weak. Sometimes, we need someone to talk to as well.

Fatherhood has made me more patient and has given me a greater sense of purpose. It has also made me think more carefully about the example I want to set. I want my child to grow up knowing that it is okay to express emotions, ask for help, make mistakes, and keep moving forward.

There have been difficult days, but there have also been moments that I will never forget. The laughter, the hugs, the little conversations, and simply knowing that someone is looking up to me have made fatherhood one of the most meaningful parts of my life.

My message to other fathers is simple: you don't have to be perfect to be a good dad. You don't have to carry everything alone. Talk to someone when things become difficult, take care of your mental health, and remember that your presence matters.

Fatherhood changed me. It challenged me, strengthened me, and taught me a different kind of love. Most importantly, it reminded me that being a father isn't about having all the answers—it's about continuing to show up, continuing to love, and continuing to learn.”

-Suresh, Indo-Fijian father of four and grandfather of six

Even decades on, Suresh can recall the profound impact fatherhood had on his life. Dhanyavaad for bravely sharing your wisdom this Father’s Day, Suresh💚

06/09/2026

“To be a father - whether they are your own children or adopted - I truly believe that it is a blessing.

Watching my father, maternal grandfather and paternal grandfather raise their children, I’ve always known that I would one day become a father because these great men in my life made raising children look like a piece of cake.

I hadn’t realised then that I was brought up with my older sister and younger brother and so many cousins on a 24-acre land. I thought it was normal to have many people around on a big piece of land.

I also understood early in my life that not every child will have a supportive father and grandfather as I did. This is where the character of my father to demonstrate love and care of my cousins truly defined him as a super dad.

As any Pacific Islander would know perfectly, family is very important. I was constantly asked, “when are you getting married” and “when will I have children?” or “when will you give me grandchildren?”

Goodness me, as the eldest son, I definitely felt the pressure was on.

When my wife told me that we were having our first son, I was so happy and even cried because I realised I was going to be a father and we were going to be three. In her 2nd trimester, I started reading and singing to my son. When he was born, I was the happiest father in the world (doesn’t matter if it’s a cliche).

For me, fatherhood has definitely changed my life’s course to dedicate my life to raising my sons.

I realised that my upbringing, although at time was a struggle, I finally realised all the struggles my father had to go through in raising more than 10 children that walked through his front door.

Being a father is not easy. The stress levels to be a father, to be present, being perfect, be a hero and always stay calm under pressure.
Children really do bring out the best and the worst in me.

I must admit, I have buckled under the pressure of being a father and a husband but never show it. I would scream in my mind, cry internally, pray silently and always tell myself “this is what you’ve always wanted.”

Family members, friends and strangers say that having a baby is lovely and it gets easier as children grow. But in my head, I’m thinking “how long do I have to wait for this to get easier?”

Yes, there are so many publications that directs me to be a good father and loving father, but honestly, I wanted to raise my boys on tradition and culture, how I was raised. This meant to show tough love, discipline, respect, listening to elders, knowing their roots and speaking my language.

I’ve also had to be wary how I raise my children because I have a blended family. My values of raising children will not be the same as my wife’s values. But, I have been very fortunate to have such a loving and supportive wife to love and raise our children with love. Don’t get me wrong, I discipline my children the island way also. If you know, you know.

One thing that truly angers me is when people ask me (and this includes family, friends and strangers) “you speak your native language to your sons? They understand what you’re saying?”

My response always is “Yes, because I’m Fijian, should I be speaking to them in another language? That’s an idiotic question”.

Urrgghhh.....I just hate it when I’m asked that question.

I am also surrounded by friends who are fathers and we share our stories about our children and talk good things about them. Having a good support system is good but men must understand what support system would be most beneficial.

Islanders would always have their church men’s groups which is perfect but there are other groups they should be a part of that is also meaningful and fun. Being supportive to your partner and doing fun things together. I know how important this is to my mental health.

However, here are six ways I connect with my sons:

1. One on one sessions🏠I have an hour each dedicated to my sons asking them about school, sports, friends, exams, puberty etc. I do this every fortnight with my boys.

2. Games🎯Play the latest games they learn from school and letting them win 70% of the time. But teach them tricks about the game.

3. Go for walks🔦Go for night walks with a torch

4. Friends❤️For us that live in urban areas, I let my sons visit their friends/cousins (playdates).

5. Gadgets📱We don’t have gadgets and they don’t get phones. Allow them think creatively and have conversations with me.

6. Reading📖This is more my wife. Reads to them every night and buys them books to read.

My religious background told me to dedicate my first born to my God (as Abraham did for Issac, although not that dramatic).

As I carried my son, I said a short emotional prayer thanking God for my wife and dedicating my son. I did the same when our second son was born. I thought to myself, ‘you’re a dad now, Ken. This is a big responsibility to raise a son and be present.’”

-Ken, itaukei father of two🌺

Happy Father’s Day to our Pasifika fathers! As Ken shares, “being a father is not easy… [there is a pressure to] be present, [be] perfect, be a hero and always stay calm under pressure.” Dads, we appreciate your tireless and often quiet sacrifices💙

01/09/2026

🥳

01/09/2026

“I grew up in a strict and violent environment. My dad was in the military and my mom was a police officer so discipline was always "enforced", not in a way that my young brain could understand at that time so it didn't sit well with me. As soon as I became a teenager, I rebelled.

Couple of years later I was young addict caught up in the system, without a care in the world I was engulfed in depression and anxiety. Drugs and toxic inhalants were my daily fuel.

One day i was on a hill at my home Island and whilst carrying two 20L gallons of water uphill to feed my ma*****na plants I just broke down with tears rushing down my face. I prayed and asked God if that was the life I was meant to live. I always knew I had a higher purpose but my toxic attitude and behaviour were closing doors of success and opportunity for me.

That day I surrended and asked the Lord Jesus to take the wheel and he took me on the right path. Along the way God blessed me with a loving partner and a handsome baby boy.

Being a Dad isn't what I imagined it would be. It was better. Being a Dad taught me selflessness, being accountable for my actions, love, compassion and of course, responsibilities.

I'm a Joiner by trade and I'd be on my feet for 8hrs - 16hrs a day. Arriving home with a fatigued body and stressed brain was always like a work of magic. As soon as I hear my son calling out "Ta" all my aches would vanish and I felt like I can do anything if not everything. Watching my son grow has been a privilege I know I didn't deserve, and yet I see my purpose in my son's eyes.

Dad life is not always easy, from meeting work targets to family expectations, yes it is hectic, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Cause at the center of all the commotion is where a Man finds his purpose, being surrounded by family and knowing that everyone is healthy and well protected.”

-itaukei Father with a one-year-old-son💙

This Father’s Day, we’re opening up the talanoa to dads💙

Mama Talanoa has always been a space for mothers to share the messy, beautiful, complicated reality of parenthood.

But dads are becoming parents, too.

Today, we’re sharing one father’s honest story about his struggles, his transformation, and how becoming a dad helped him discover his purpose.

We hope his story opens the door for more conversations about what Pasifika fathers need, too.

It’s not too late to send in your story, dads. Send us a DM or email [email protected]

01/09/2026

Vinaka to RNZ for shedding light on Pasifika perinatal mental health💖

Most mothers remember the first time they laid eyes on their new-born and the joy a baby can bring.

27/08/2026

📢Are you pregnant, in postpartum, or planning on having another baby?

We are excited to announce our next free Zoom session with our guest speaker Rusila Sevudredre, doula and founder of Selah Birth Collective.✨

👉🏽In this session, we’ll explore simple, realistic and low-cost ways mums can prepare for birth and the early postpartum period.

👉🏽We’ll discuss practical comfort measures for the third trimester, accessible tools that can help mums feel calmer and more supported during a hospital birth, and the important conversations families can have before baby arrives.

Mums will also be encouraged to think about their recovery, feeding, rest, emotional wellbeing and support systems—not with the expectation that everything will go perfectly, but so they can enter the fourth trimester feeling more informed, confident and supported.💖

Register with the link below:

https://forms.gle/bFzcovpsZzjpicL16

27/08/2026

26/08/2026

❤️🚨 CORONA FIJI URGENT WINTER APPEAL 🚨❤️

THE COLD IS HITTING HARD — WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Our Corona Fiji trolley team has just received an urgent request from CWM Hospital, and we are reaching out to our wonderful members, friends, businesses and the wider Fiji community.

With the cold weather hitting hard, newborn babies, toddlers and families are particularly vulnerable right now. Every donation, big or small, can make a real difference. ❤️

🍼 FOR NEWBORNS & BABIES

We urgently need:
• Newborn diapers
• Shower gel
• Bathing soap
• Face towels
• Baby towels
• Crocheted beanies & mittens
• New or good-condition used baby & toddler clothing
• Warm clothing for babies and toddlers

🏥 FOR THE HOSPITAL WARDS

We are also urgently looking for:
• Staplers
• Plain grey pillows — plenty needed
• Bathroom curtains — 10
• Old fridge — new or second-hand
• Microwaves — new or second-hand

🙏 PLEASE HELP US SPREAD THE WORD

If you can donate even ONE item, it will help enormously.

If you don’t have something to donate, please share this post with your friends, family, workmates, community groups and on your own page.

Sometimes the person who can help is only one share away. ❤️

📍 DROP-OFF LOCATIONS

Suva:
De Vos on the Park – YWCA Building

Pacific Harbour:
Soni Matthews

Coral Coast:
Annemarie de Vos – Maui Bay

📧 Email: [email protected]
If you need your donation collected, please email us and we will arrange collection where possible.
📞 Or contact Meme – Corona Fiji
900 4737

❤️ LET’S COME TOGETHER

Corona Fiji is asking our community to please rally together. The cold is hitting hard, and our hospitals are seeing the need.

Let’s fill the trolley and get these urgently needed supplies to CWM Hospital. 🍼🏥❤️

DONATE • SHARE • SUPPORT • HELP US HELP OTHERS

25/08/2026

Dads, your story is equally as important. Send us a dm or email📩