Myrelationshipcounselling

Myrelationshipcounselling Relationship Therapist, Counsellor + Psychotherapist. BACP accredited. Working with individuals, couples, 2's + EAPs. Online + telephone therapy.

Navigating relationships, one conversation at a time.

In relationships, do you keep the peace at any cost to you, even when it means losing yourself?This is known as fawning....
01/09/2026

In relationships, do you keep the peace at any cost to you, even when it means losing yourself?

This is known as fawning. It's more common than you think, and it doesn't happen all at once. Years of staying agreeable can build quietly, until it erupts.

This month's post looks at why, and how you can find your voice again, in relationship.

Read the full post here: -

https://myrelationshipcounselling.com/2026/09/01/trauma-reactions-that-can-be-used-to-stay-in-relationship-keeping-the-peace-meet-fawn-some-call-fix/

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com

Do you feel disconnected in your relationship?Navigating relationships, one conversation at a time.When couples come to ...
17/07/2026

Do you feel disconnected in your relationship?

Navigating relationships, one conversation at a time.

When couples come to me, I often talk about a diamond.

The bottom point represents when you last felt connected, known, chosen and seen.
Then life happens. Children. Work. Family. Football. TV. Financial pressure. Phones. Substances.

All of these can create space between you. Your relationship starts to form a diamond shape with everything but your partner becoming priority. You turn towards children, family, friends, screens, alcohol, anything that feels easier. Yet this ease creates distance in your intimate relationship.

You are now at the widest point of the diamond. Emotionally drained. Disconnected. Exhausted. Transactional. Sexual intimacy at its lowest. Your relationship has become a situationship.

Reaching for relationship therapy.

Our work is not about getting your old relationship back. You cannot go back. It is about working towards the top point of the diamond. A new connection. Built on what you know of each other now. Incorporating your learning. Your lived life becoming inclusive rather than exclusive. The Me + Me = We.

This movement back starts small. Small purposeful actions. A daily check in. A real hug on reunion. Being curious. Noticing. Giving the gift of presence. Being emotionally available. As the Gottman’s say, ‘bids for connection’.

If you are reading this and identifying, this diamond is real and it may feel lonely. Do contact me as only by taking that first step, will your relationship be different.

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

England. Came. Showed up. Gave everything. 🦁🦁🦁Victoria; last weekend criticised for being too cool, now over zealous. An...
16/07/2026

England. Came. Showed up. Gave everything. 🦁🦁🦁

Victoria; last weekend criticised for being too cool, now over zealous. An example of 'damned if I do and damned if I don't'.

My voice; Victoria you know you. You know the conversations and support you give David, and vice versa, in your marriage. No-one else does! You have been together for as long as I have had my Beckham England shirt and my England shirt still looks fresh. I am sure your marriage has these elements too ⛪💍.

As an armchair fan, I am proud. A whole array of emotions in those couple of hours which are representative of life and experiences 🌍.

Pickford. Overlooked. Extraordinary night. Spence delivering beyond expectation. Tuchel making a defensive decision that did not land the way he hoped (a very known dynamic in relationships… 'perceive' attack, get defensive!). Brought in to get us to the final yet we were against six times finalists fowling Argentina 🤬 Who, we all know, stopped the pace in the first half YET WE STILL SCORED (go Gordon!) then in the second, kept their cool to put the ball in the back of the net. Twice! ⚽⚽

England showed up and played with dignity and kept their head, for the majority.

In relationships, the ability to widen your lens from a moment to the whole is everything. To stand strong in your own belief. And one Tuchel, oops I mean tussle 😂 does not define the tEaM. Nor does 1 bad night or 1 defensive decision. The relationship is the whole.

Now there will be France on Saturday for third and then our World Cup is over for another four years. Will there be learning? Will there be growth? Will there be scapegoating? Will there be the golden child? All part of relationships.

England showed up and did their best. Cheers lads ⚽ 🙌

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

(Photo from the Guardian)

England Semi Final day!! ⚽Come 8pm I'll proudly be sporting my shirt!(Can you believe ChatGPT did this from the photo I ...
15/07/2026

England Semi Final day!! ⚽

Come 8pm I'll proudly be sporting my shirt!

(Can you believe ChatGPT did this from the photo I shared last night of it hanging up! GO CHAT 🌟💪 )

In the world; Bellingham is Bellingham. Kane is Kane. Beckhams are the Beckhams. Pickford is Pickford (the guy who HAS responsibility + gets overlooked). You are you. I am me!

What has this got to do with relationships? Healthy ones are about changing your focus rather than changing others. Healthy relationships ARE the scoreline change. We can request needs from others then let go of the outcome. Like how Tuchel requests the players to show up!

In an unhealthy relationship you may shrink, guess, manage someone else's mood while abandoning your own, or lie awake pondering what you did wrong. All of this is like scoring an own goal! 🥅😵‍💫

In a healthy relationship you are vulnerable, stepping up with inclusion, showing up when running on empty, voicing difficulty rather than swallowing your words and having the courage to sit with both your pain and another's. Letting yourself be truly seen, which can be the most frightening challenge of all.

This active shift takes presence and willingness to sit with discomfort and is like learning new driving routes, where you consciously do different.

HOW? With Honesty, Openness and Willingness to look at your part, using the 3 A's of Awareness, Accountability and Action (rather than the '3 lions on a shirt' which may not get you the same outcome! 🦁🦁🦁🫠).

So whether cheering (or cringing behind a pillow!) watching England, or doing an ordinary Wednesday evening at home, know you are worthy of stable, energising, grounded and anchored relationships where you are anchored in showing all your emotions⚓📣🤩.

Come on England! ⚽🏆

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

24 hour countdown ⏳The shirt's out... again. The nerves are here... again. The eve of the semi-final and the build up is...
14/07/2026

24 hour countdown ⏳

The shirt's out... again. The nerves are here... again. The eve of the semi-final and the build up is happening....

This shirt has surprising history. It was worn on 1 September 2001 for the amazing England 1 Germany 5 scoreline where Beckham was Captain and this is the ONLY England shirt I have ever owned. That night, one of the greatest nights in English football history, was electric. In a pub in Woking and, bearing in mind I was a lot younger then (haha), we were all on our knees on the floor bowing down to the screen shouting 'we are not worthy!'. Extraordinary memories 🙌

So nearly 25 years ago and the shirt still looks new (IMO!). Proof that, if you look after something well, it lasts and relationships are no different.

Like this shirt, relationships have seen hope, heartbreak, extra time and penalties... yet here we are again, showing up, just as the England team do for us.

We are in relationship everywhere. Dare we attach to a final...? 👀

Let's dream that we are going to do it again with Wonderwall bringing Wonder to All. 🎶

Whatever tomorrow brings... Come on England! 🦁🦁🦁


Come on England! ⚽This photo is everywhere attracting differing reactions (photographer can not be acknowledged as curre...
13/07/2026

Come on England! ⚽

This photo is everywhere attracting differing reactions (photographer can not be acknowledged as currently unknown)! 👀

David on his feet, arm in the air, complete passion! Victoria seated, composed, cool behind her sunglasses, seemingly missing the moment. Two people, same moment, entirely different experiences!

As a therapist I know we cannot see another person's inner world unless they tell us. In that moment her thoughts may have been elsewhere. In that moment she may have been exhausted. In that moment she may simply have been having a kettle on moment. Have we not all been there? I know I was! Determined to stay up and see the celebrations and just before 2am I drifted off! 2 minutes before the final whistle! Reminder, we cannot be fully on it 24/7, especially if it is 34 degrees, football is not your passion or it is 2am!

Maybe this photo represents a more healthy relationship? 💑 Two people fully themselves, side by side. Independent and interdependent at the same time.

Beckham history: Recently Victoria filmed David picking an onion. An onion! 🧅 And it was on their social threads. Yet maybe this IS their togetherness. For them, the mundane moments are extraordinary. Is a healthy relationship about mirroring each other constantly? 🤔 Maybe it is about two people anchoring themselves.
A Me + Me = We.

Together 25 years. Enduring public scrutiny that most of us could possibly not cope with. And here they still are. Maybe this is them being them?

Victoria and David, what is your relationship to you?

Closing thought from this relational practitioner; if you are not in the relationship you want, contact me so we can assist you finding your extraordinary ordinary relationship!

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

Does love conquer all? 💘Rory McIlroy arrived at Wimbledon this week in his Masters green jacket, Erica by his side, givi...
08/07/2026

Does love conquer all? 💘

Rory McIlroy arrived at Wimbledon this week in his Masters green jacket, Erica by his side, giving the world something to witness; a kiss 💏. The love language of physical touch with a lingering intimate gaze from Erica.

Two years ago McIlroy filed for divorce. Their marriage was described as irretrievably broken. Rory then withdrew the divorce saying "Over the past weeks, Erica and I have realised that our best future was as a family together. We look forward to a new beginning." And family meant commitment to Poppy too, who was seen enjoying the unlimited ice cream on offer!🍦😊.

What is great here are the words 'new beginning'. No pretence that nothing happened. No sweeping under the Wimbledon grass! A conscious choice to turn back towards one another, in what the Gottmans call, bids for connection.

Being a relationship practitioner, I know the work this takes. Turning quality time into conscious reconnecting moments. Difficult conversations around rejection and abandonment fears. Choosing to stay when leaving had felt the easier option. Turning back in, they demonstrated their marriage was worth staying the course for.

I work with relationships where there is commitment to stay, or a question of 'do we?' Clients know that their relating pattern is not working. Inviting me in as a third takes vulnerability and courage and I do not take my work lightly. And from their PDA, Rory and Erica will know about the hard work that goes into repair. And here they are. Game, set and match 🎾⛳.

If you feel your relationship is in the bunker, do contact me. A different strike can change your whole serve! 🏆

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

[Original photo and news article: https://www.nine.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/rory-mcilroy-erica-stoll-wimbledon-appearnce-calling-off-divorce-20260702-p60bx7.html}

Relationships come in many shapes and forms… and England showed up for us all this morning! ⚽Waking up, immediately goog...
06/07/2026

Relationships come in many shapes and forms… and England showed up for us all this morning! ⚽

Waking up, immediately googling the result and then seeing the scoreline, I had FOMO instead of JOMO which I had gone to bed with! Yet that is ok, as I made a decision at 10pm last night to not stay up (think adult worker rather than free child! 😄). Watching the highlights, the passing, the unity and the goals, and seeing Kane and Bellingham standing strong, I felt electric!

Relationships today carry many social pressures and the one that everyone was talking about for the England team was high altitude, which was high pressure, yet England delivered.

What we all know is that behind every public moment there are countless private ones where the lads have had early mornings, difficult conversations and have chosen to show up for training when no one is watching. As Tony Robbins says, we get rewarded in public for what we practise in private.

Your relationship is no different. The external challenges, the sweat that goes into ensuring you are where you need to be and not dropping the ball. The choosing to reach for each other when you are so knackered and have nothing left to give. The small daily acts of showing up are the big things that, like the England team, score. Every touch ensuring your relationship finds the back of the net! However, at times, it may feel like you are scoring own goals which can leave you both feeling deflated, when you know you are trying so hard not to. This is where I come in to change your formation!

The daily stuff really is where the work is.

If you need a Thomas Tuchel to help bring you both together more harmoniously, contact me. 😉

www.myrelationshipcounselling.com
www.harmoniouscounselling.com
⚽🌿

Working from home may have originally seemed like a perk yet what has been the actual cost to your relationship?In this ...
01/07/2026

Working from home may have originally seemed like a perk yet what has been the actual cost to your relationship?
In this month's blog I explore why close proximity can unromanticise a relationship, with patterns learnt in your hoME of origin causing tension now!

https://myrelationshipcounselling.com/blog/

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