Harmony counselling uk

06/08/2026

23/07/2026

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood. People usually see the intense emotions, impulsive behaviours, or relationship difficulties—but beneath those struggles are often deeply rooted emotional patterns that developed much earlier in life.

This is one of the reasons I use Schema Therapy in my work with people living with BPD.

Schemas are deeply ingrained beliefs and emotional patterns that develop when our core emotional needs weren’t consistently met during childhood or adolescence. They’re not simply “negative thoughts”—they’re the lens through which we see ourselves, other people, and the world.

For example, someone may carry schemas such as:
• “People will always leave me.” (Abandonment)
• “I’m fundamentally flawed or unlovable.” (Defectiveness/Shame)
• “I have to meet everyone else’s needs to be accepted.” (Self-Sacrifice)
• “I can’t cope on my own.” (Dependence)

When these schemas are triggered, the emotional response can feel overwhelming. A small disagreement may feel like rejection. A delayed text message can feel like abandonment. These reactions aren’t overreactions—they’re old wounds being activated.

Schema Therapy helps people understand why these patterns exist, rather than judging themselves for having them. Together, we identify the schemas that are driving distress, recognise the coping styles that developed to survive, and work towards healthier ways of meeting emotional needs.

For many people with BPD, this approach is transformative because it doesn’t just focus on managing symptoms—it helps heal the underlying emotional experiences that keep those symptoms alive.

Recovery isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about understanding your story with compassion, challenging the beliefs that no longer serve you, and building a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Healing is possible, and change begins with understanding.

01/06/2026

29/05/2026

Child Mental Health – Explained Simply

Child mental health is about how children think, feel, behave, and relate to others — it’s just as important as their physical health. It covers how they handle emotions, learn, build friendships, cope with challenges, and understand who they are.

What it really means

Think of it like a foundation for life. When a child has good mental health, they feel safe, loved, and understood. They can express happy, sad, angry, or scared feelings without being overwhelmed. They can adapt when things change, learn from mistakes, and grow confidence in themselves. It doesn’t mean they never feel upset or struggle — all children do — but it means they have the tools and support to work through hard times.

Signs it’s going well

• They show a range of emotions and talk about how they feel

• They play, explore, and learn with curiosity

• They make friends and get along with others most of the time

• They cope with small setbacks (like losing a game or not getting what they want)

• They feel safe and trust the people looking after them

When it might need extra care

Just like we get a cold or hurt a leg, children’s mental health can also need support. Signs include:

• Sudden big changes in behaviour (e.g. becoming very quiet, angry, or clingy)

• Constant worry, fear, or sadness that doesn’t go away

• Trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating for a long time

• Hurting themselves or others, or withdrawing from everyone

• Struggling to cope with everyday things like school or play

What helps most

Love, safety, and connection are the biggest supports. When children feel heard, accepted, and know someone is there for them, they build strong emotional strength. Sometimes, extra help from professionals — like counselling or therapy — gives them the tools to feel better and grow.
As Therapist’s we help children understand their feelings, build confidence, and learn healthy ways to cope — so they can grow happy, safe, and strong.

29/05/2026

children's silence is one of the most misread signals in the family court.

when a child stops asking about their protective parent, the court calls it adjustment. when a child stops complaining about being moved, it's labelled settling. when a child becomes quiet around the parent who used to terrify them, it's treated as evidence the contact is working.

it isn't.

silence is what children do when they have learned that speaking up doesn't help them. silence is what children do when they are watching the adults around them carefully to work out what they are allowed to say. silence is what children do when they are surviving.

the family court has spent so long looking for reasons to say everything is fine that it has stopped recognising the most obvious sign that it isn't.

28/05/2026

Stay safe and hydrated while enjoying the good weather