Calmness Through Cancer with Sue

Calmness Through Cancer with Sue Navigating cancer diagnosis & treatment with honesty, hope & a steady mindset.

Well I haven’t posted in here for two days and that’s because I’ve been asleep most of the time! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣On Saturday I pos...
16/06/2026

Well I haven’t posted in here for two days and that’s because I’ve been asleep most of the time! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

On Saturday I posted about being awake all night (from the chemo and steroids I had on Friday). I still felt “wired and jittery” on Saturday
but by the evening, I could feel my energy levels dropping.

I slept well… so well in fact that I couldn’t wake up properly. I then slept five hours mid Sunday, all Sunday night, most of Monday and 12 hours Monday night!

I woke up this morning a little perkier, but feeling like a squirrel just coming out of hibernation!
Had a shower, put some makeup on and took the dog out for a walk with Bob.

It’s funny how quickly your perspective changes. A few weeks ago I would probably have been annoyed at “wasting” two days sleeping. Now I see it differently. My body clearly needed it, so I decided not to argue with it.

Cancer and treatment seem to have a way of teaching lessons whether you ask for them or not. One of mine is learning that rest isn’t laziness, weakness or a lack of productivity. Sometimes rest is the job.

So for the last couple of days, my body was apparently working overtime while I contributed absolutely nothing except snoring and occasionally asking, “What day is it?” 🤣

Today feels like a better day. Not a marathon day. Not a “conquer the world” day. Just a dog-walking, fresh-air, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other day.

And right now, that feels more than enough. ❤️

Every Friday, after my weekly chemo session, I’m falling asleep from the Piriton meds (antihistamine), then come evening...
13/06/2026

Every Friday, after my weekly chemo session, I’m falling asleep from the Piriton meds (antihistamine), then come evening time I’m wide awake from the steroids.
I’m lucky to get 2-3 hours sleep.

Last night I was still awake at 3.30am and it was starting to get light and I had the window open in my bedroom so my head felt a bit cold.

I put on my beanie hat and eye m**f to counteract the cold and light and promptly fell asleep!

Maybe I’ll try this when I go to bed next week, as I felt totally cocooned and less aware of my surroundings!

Who knows, I may have found a new sleep aid… I’ll let you all know next week! 🤣

If you’ve got any sleeping tips, please share 🙏🏻

Someone commented on one of my posts recently and said:“You need resilience.”And I found myself thinking… yes, you do.Bu...
13/06/2026

Someone commented on one of my posts recently and said:

“You need resilience.”

And I found myself thinking… yes, you do.

But where does resilience come from?

I don’t believe resilience is something we’re simply born with. I think it grows from our mindset and previous life’s experiences.

Resilience isn’t about never feeling afraid.
It isn’t about being positive all the time.
And it certainly isn’t about pretending everything is okay when it isn’t.

Resilience is what happens - what is built - when you choose to keep going despite the fear.

It’s the mindset that says:
“I really don’t like this, but I’ll deal with it today.”

It’s the decision to focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t.

It’s accepting that some days you’ll wobble, cry, rant, eat cake, feel sorry for yourself, and then get up and carry on anyway.

People often look at someone going through a difficult time and say, “You’re so resilient.”

What they don’t see are the thousands of tiny mindset choices being made behind the scenes every day. With each tiny mindset adjustment we learn to build resilience.

The choice to get out of bed.
The choice to get dressed.
The choice to attend the appointment.
The choice to eat well.
The choice to take a walk - even for five minutes.
The choice to ask others for help.
The choice to find gratitude in the middle of uncertainty.

Resilience isn’t a personality trait reserved for a lucky few.

It’s built one thought, one decision and one small step at a time.

What do you think comes first: resilience or mindset?

One of the biggest lessons cancer is teaching me has nothing to do with medicine.It’s teaching me about the mind.I recen...
12/06/2026

One of the biggest lessons cancer is teaching me has nothing to do with medicine.

It’s teaching me about the mind.

I recently read a quote that said:

“Two people can experience exactly the same situation and experience it completely differently because of the state of their minds.”

That really made me stop and think.

Every day in the chemotherapy suite, I meet women facing challenges very similar to mine. Yet we all experience them differently.

Some feel overwhelmed by fear.
Some find moments of gratitude.
Some focus on what they may lose.
Others focus on what they still have.

None of those reactions are right or wrong. We’re all human.

But it reminds me that whilst we can’t always choose our circumstances, we can gently influence the way we think about them.

I’ve discovered that calmness doesn’t come from pretending everything is okay.

It comes from accepting what is, staying present, and not allowing fear to write the whole story.

Cancer may have changed many things in my life, but it has also shown me the incredible power of perspective.

The situation is important.

But the state of our mind matters too.

What helps you find calm when life throws something difficult your way?

I came across an article today that really resonated with me and I’m curious to know what other cancer patients think….O...
11/06/2026

I came across an article today that really resonated with me and I’m curious to know what other cancer patients think….

One thing I’ve struggled with since my diagnosis is when people say, “You’ll fight this” or “Keep battling.”

I know it comes from a place of kindness and encouragement, and I genuinely appreciate the love behind it. But I’ve never quite been able to explain why those words don’t sit comfortably with me.

The article suggested that cancer has become wrapped up in the language of war. We talk about fighting, battling, winning, losing and beating cancer. Yet cancer isn’t an invading enemy from outside our bodies - it’s something that develops within our own cells.

Sometimes I wonder if viewing ourselves as warriors puts an extra burden on people who are already carrying enough. What if our role isn’t always to fight, but also to nurture, heal, adapt, trust and work with our bodies as they go through something incredibly difficult?

And if someone dies from cancer, have they really “lost a battle” “he / she fought so hard” - or have they simply faced one of life’s hardest journeys with as much courage as they could?

I feel that I want to face cancer with courage, calm and faith in my medical team - not fight or battle this disease.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Do words like “fight”, “battle” and “beat cancer” empower you, or do they make you feel uncomfortable too?

Hope isn’t magic, and it isn’t denial.The science of the placebo effect shows that our expectations can create real biol...
10/06/2026

Hope isn’t magic, and it isn’t denial.

The science of the placebo effect shows that our expectations can create real biological changes in the body. When we believe a treatment can help, the brain can release natural pain-relieving chemicals, reduce stress responses, and influence how we experience symptoms.

This doesn’t mean positive thinking cures cancer or that illness is “all in the mind.”
Far from it.

What it does mean is that hope has value. Hope can help us cope, persevere with treatment, get out of bed on difficult days, and face uncertainty with a little more strength.

I don’t see hope as pretending everything will be fine. I see it as choosing to believe that, whatever happens, there are still possibilities ahead worth holding onto.

For me, realistic hope is not about guaranteeing an outcome. It’s about refusing to give up on the future.

So this could be controversial…I want to talk about faith. Please no angry 😡 faces - everyone is entitled to their own o...
09/06/2026

So this could be controversial…
I want to talk about faith.

Please no angry 😡 faces - everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I’ve never been a religious person, but always felt there was a greater power playing. To some people that is God, to others the Universe, The Source, Energy, a formless substance or Eternal force.

I wonder whether people lose faith, when they are diagnosed with cancer or whether they turn to God / The Universe… to pray for healing.

For me, it’s something I’ve thought deeply about. I certainly feel more in touch with my soul and less attached to my physical body and thoughts. I live less in my head and more in my heart. Maybe this is a coping strategy.

I’ve learned that most of us live our lives from the outside in, rather than from the inside out.

We spend years chasing things we believe will make us feel happy, safe, worthy or complete. We look for answers in our achievements, our appearance, our bank balance, our relationships, and what other people think of us.

But a cancer diagnosis has a way of stripping all that back.

When you’re faced with your own vulnerability, you start asking different questions. What really matters? Who am I beneath all the roles I play? What remains when so much feels uncertain?

I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I probably have more questions than ever.

But what I do know is that I feel a deeper sense of trust than I used to. Not necessarily trust that everything will go the way I want it to, but trust that I can handle whatever comes next.

I’ve stopped asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and started asking, “What is this teaching me?”

For me, faith isn’t about certainty. It’s about finding peace in uncertainty.

I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts. Did a life-changing event strengthen your faith, weaken it, or change it in some other way?

Please be kind and respectful of each other’s beliefs. ❤️🙏🏻

One of the best analogies I’ve heard recently, that I can relate my mindset to recent cancer diagnosis and treatment to ...
08/06/2026

One of the best analogies I’ve heard recently, that I can relate my mindset to recent cancer diagnosis and treatment to is this:

Your conscious mind is the steering wheel.
Your subconscious mind is the pedals.

Most of us spend our lives focusing on our “steering wheel.”

Navigating everyday life, making plans, dealing with day to day ups and downs, just following the road ahead.

But then cancer arrives.

Suddenly, despite our best intentions to control the wheel, the accelerator pedal gets pressed to the floor and our steering becomes erratic.

Fear races ahead.
“Why…?
“What if…?”
“How bad…?”
“What does this mean?”
“What happens next?”

Or the brakes slam on.

We feel numb.
Overwhelmed.
Unable to think clearly.
Unable to move forward.
Frozen.

And then we wonder what’s wrong with us. Because we’ve only ever heard about the medical & physical side of cancer, not what happens in our heads and how we deal with that too!

The truth is, when we’re diagnosed with cancer, there’s often a lot going on beneath the surface that we’re not consciously choosing.
And that is the emotional and mental toll.

Our subconscious mind is trying to protect us based on old experiences, beliefs, worries and survival instincts.

So whilst we’re gripping the steering wheel and trying to stay on course to the outside world, the pedals are sometimes doing their own thing.

I’ve learned that dealing with this isn’t just about holding the steering wheel tighter.

It’s about becoming aware of what’s happening underneath - in our subconscious mind.

Not judging ourselves for feeling frightened, exhausted or stuck.

Not expecting ourselves to be positive every minute of every day.

Just noticing the fear, the numbness and understanding that’s it’s absolutely normal.

Then being compassionate with ourselves.

Because sometimes the bravest thing we can do isn’t to fight harder with the steering wheel…

It’s to gently ease off the accelerator of fear and release the brakes of overwhelm, one small moment at a time.

❤️

For anyone navigating cancer right now: if you’re finding it difficult to stay positive, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It might simply mean your pedals need a little attention too.

When I notice these “fear” thoughts or feel numb, I tell myself that cancer may be trying to take over my life by revving my anxiety or slamming on the brakes, but it doesn’t get permanent control of the car! We can still steer calmly and stay in control of our thoughts, even on the days we feel like we’re crawling along over gaping potholes in first gear. 🚗💕

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when cancer arrived in my life, was the guilt.The guilt that quietly creeps in and makes...
07/06/2026

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when cancer arrived in my life, was the guilt.

The guilt that quietly creeps in and makes you feel like you’re affecting everyone else with your unwanted diagnosis.

Guilt for being the one in the family with a serious illness.

Guilt when holidays get cancelled, plans change, and birthdays (my husband’s 70th) don’t quite go as expected.

Guilt for spending half the day in bed because your body simply won’t cooperate two days after treatment.

Guilt when you meet people whose cancer journey is far harder than your own.

Guilt when someone else’s story doesn’t have the ending they hoped for, and yours might.

Guilt for feeling down, even though the sun’s out & you’re trying your best to stay positive.

Guilt for not being the person you were before diagnosis.

Guilt for hearing yourself say, “Sorry…” for the hundredth time.

Sorry I can’t come.
Sorry I need to rest.
Sorry I forgot.
Sorry I’m not myself today.

And sometimes, guilt simply for becoming “the ill person” in every conversation.

The truth is, cancer brings enough baggage without us carrying guilt as well. (Read that again!)

None of us asked for this.

We’re doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt.

So today, if you’re carrying a little guilt around with you, perhaps put it down for a while.

Your only job is to get through today.

And if that means cancelling plans, taking a nap, or eating toast for tea while watching Netflix, I’m fairly sure that’s covered somewhere in the official Cancer Rule Book… right next to “Thou shalt not feel guilty for needing a duvet day and a chocolate biscuit.” 😊 ☕️ 🍫

Does anyone else feel this irrational guilt?

It’s a Saturday…Before your cancer diagnosis… where might you have been?Choose your adventure:- Sitting in traffic and g...
06/06/2026

It’s a Saturday…
Before your cancer diagnosis… where might you have been?

Choose your adventure:

- Sitting in traffic and getting annoyed because you spent too long shoe shopping and you’ve hit the rush hour.

- Wondering if ordering a takeaway for the second time this week is really that bad.

- Making holiday plans for six months’ time without giving it a second thought.

- Complaining because you only got six hours of sleep last night.

- Wandering around the retail park and coming home with things you definitely didn’t need.

- Arranging an impromptu BBQ and inviting 29 people on a whim!

- Saying, “I’ll definitely do it next weekend.”

- Worrying about something that probably wouldn’t even make your top 100 concerns today.

- Curled up watching TV and not noticing how many times cancer is mentioned in one nights viewing.

- Thinking about Christmas and inviting the entire family for dinner 🤯

It’s funny how cancer can completely change your perspective on what really matters.

Looking back at old photos now feels strange sometimes.

This is a photo of Bob and I last summer, at a beautiful countryside retreat (no Saturday morning red chemo face)

When I look at it now, I find myself thinking:
“I had cancer here… and I didn’t even know it.”

Life can change in ways we never see coming and although in some respect, I’m envious of my previous (spontaneous) life, I don’t ever want to go back to taking life for granted or sweating the small stuff.

What do you feel has significantly changed for you, that’s actually positive?

Address

Bawtry
DN106SE

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Calmness Through Cancer with Sue posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Category