Elephants In Rooms

07/09/2026

There’s a particularly annoying kind of stuck where you know exactly what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and still can’t seem to stop....

I know it because I do it too. I can recognise a pattern, understand where it came from and explain it beautifully, then find myself doing the exact same bloody thing again.

Many of my clients know this feeling. The problem isn’t a lack of insight. They know they’re people-pleasing, overthinking, avoiding things, seeking reassurance or saying yes when they desperately want to say no. Knowing why just hasn’t been enough to help them do something different.

That’s the gap Paired Session Therapy is designed for.

It alternates between a full exploratory session and a shorter online session the following week. First, we make sense of the pattern and agree on something realistic to try. Then we look at what actually happened, what helped, what got in the way and what we might adjust.

It’s focused therapy for people who already understand quite a lot about themselves but still feel stuck.

I currently have space for one client. In-person sessions are held in my office in central Chesterfield.

Find out more: https://www.elephantsinrooms.co.uk/paired-session-therapy/

13/08/2026

Choosing a therapist can feel like a dating app where everyone has somehow selected “creating a safe non-judgemental space” as their main hobby.

You’ve read twenty profiles. Everyone sounds warm, caring and empathetic. They’ve started merging into one enormous compassionate person called Claire.

At some point you want to shout: YES, BUT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY LIKE?

Because the questions you really want answered are:

Would I want to sit in a room with this person and tell them the weird stuff in my head?

Or, for that matter, what are they actually going to DO once I get there?

Martin and I are both therapists in Chesterfield, but our ways of working are very different.

So we’ve made a little interactive tool that asks you some normal-human questions about what you want from therapy and works out whether you’re more likely to be a Martin person or a Trudie person.

No knowledge of therapy required.

No obligation to book anything.

You can just poke it and see what it says.

We both offer therapy, but we work in different ways. The best fit depends on what’s bringing you to therapy, what you want help with and the way you’d prefer to work.Our interactive tool will help you work out which approach might suit you best.

03/08/2026

Nothing says Monday morning quite like waking up exhausted and discovering your brain has already found twelve new things to worry about.

You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart before coming to counselling. Sometimes being thoroughly fed up with carrying it all is reason enough.

So, if today’s agenda includes relationship worries, self-doubt, unfinished thoughts and overthinking at an Olympic level, you might be ready to start the week differently.

I currently have a regular Monday morning counselling space available in Chesterfield.

Get in touch and let’s have a chat about what you need. I promise not to hand you a breathing exercise when what you need is a conversation that actually gets you somewhere.

Trudie - 07895571083

22/07/2026

You know that feeling when even the easy stuff feels hard?

You answer the emails, pay the bills, remember your sister's birthday, and mostly manage to get a wash on before you have to resort to your only-for-emergencies underwear.

But every little task seems to take more out of you than it takes everyone else, and you can't quite work out whether everybody else is genuinely finding life easier or whether they're just better at hiding it.

You keep waiting for life to get back to normal, without quite noticing that this has become normal. The trouble is, the finish line keeps moving. Before long, an ordinary Wednesday feels like a marathon.

The closest I've come to describing it is this.

It's like trying to eat soup with a fork.

You're trying just as hard as everyone else. It just feels as though you're getting half as far. After a while, it's hard not to wonder if the problem is you.

A lot of people come to therapy because they think they're "not coping". The reality is that they're coping remarkably well. They're holding down jobs, looking after families, remembering everybody else's needs and somehow keeping the show on the road. It's just costing them far more than anyone else can see.

Sometimes it's people-pleasing that's quietly got out of hand. Sometimes it's discovering you've been expecting far too much of yourself for far too long. Sometimes it's discovering you've been trying to navigate the world with a brain that works a bit differently. And sometimes it's not just one thing. It's a pile-up.

One of the biggest shifts I see in therapy isn't people suddenly becoming happier or more confident. It's the moment they stop assuming they're the problem and start getting curious about why life has felt so bloody hard for so long.

Because before you decide you're rubbish at eating soup, it's worth checking the cutlery....

17/06/2026

Believe it or not, you probably don’t need a total life overhaul.

You just need to stop going round in the same loop like a song that’s been on repeat for too long now, thanks very much.

That’s most of what I work with in therapy. Not big dramatic breakthroughs. Not reinventing yourself in a single session. Just noticing the patterns that keep running on autopilot, and figuring out how to disrupt them.

The apology that’s out of your mouth before you’ve even thought about whether it’s your job to be sorry.

The over-explaining when nobody asked for a thesis.
The “I’m fine” that is very much not fine.
Small things. Repeated things. The bits that keep you stuck.

Here’s the useful bit: your patterns are predictable.

I’m not saying that to be rude. It’s actually good news. Because if they’re predictable, they’re learned. Not fixed. Not “you”. Just well-worn tracks your mind keeps dropping back into.

And anything learned can be unlearned.

That’s what I mean by disruption. Not chaos. Not blowing your life up. Not becoming a different person overnight. More like catching the moment the loop starts again… and choosing something different.

If you’re looking for someone to nod along while nothing changes, I’m probably not your person.

If you want to start disrupting the patterns, we’ll get on. Get in touch and let's have a chat.

23/04/2026

I don't look like what most people imagine when they think "therapist."

Purple hair. Tattoos. Band t-shirts. Doc Martens. The occasional swear word. (Well, probably more than occasional, let’s be honest. If sweary people shock you, I am definitely not for you.)

For a lot of people, that's exactly why they get in touch.
Not because any of that actually matters—it doesn't—but because it gives them a sense that this might not be one of those beige, hushed-voice, "and how does that make you feel?" situations.

Sometimes what brings people to therapy isn't whether you trained in Cambridge or use the right buzzwords. It's just thinking "right, this person might actually get it" or "I probably won't have to pretend I've got my s**t together here."

And that turns out to matter quite a lot.

I don't make an effort to fit the therapist stereotype—not to prove a point, I just show up as me so you can show up as you.

And it does seem to help people relax faster. Less worrying about whether they're doing therapy correctly (you're not being marked, I promise). Less wondering if they sound ridiculous. More just… actually talking.

If this sounds like it might be less awkward than whatever you've tried before, there's one way to find out.

Find out more, and get in touch, at thisbeinghuman.co.uk

04/03/2026

The biggest red flag in a relationship? Sometimes it’s the white flag…

According to relationship experts, it’s not fireworks that usually spell trouble — it’s the lack of them. From never arguing anymore to forgetting to say “thank you”, assuming you already know what your partner is thinking, slipping into bed early to dodge conversation, or burying yourself in hobbies like ultramarathons… these can be the sneaky little signs that mean emotional connection is quietly fading.

Here’s the awkward truth: love isn’t supposed to be easy all the time — it’s just supposed to be alive. When you’ve stopped checking in, listening deeply, recognising what’s good, or even saying thanks, your relationship might be stuck in that weird half-awake, half-asleep zone where connection goes to nap… forever.

But here’s the juicy bit. You don’t need to be on the brink of divorce to get curious about the health of your relationship. Couples therapy isn’t a last-resort; it’s like switching on the lights in a room you’ve been tip-toeing around for years. We look at why conflict has died, why curiosity has vanished, and how to bring back the messy, human, gorgeous parts of being close.

No judgment. No advice. Just real exploration leading to deeper connection.

So, if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking

“I guess this is just who we are now…”

…then maybe it’s time to book a couples session before autopilot becomes permanent.

21/02/2026

You write a perfectly reasonable reply to someone’s post.

You read it back.
Seems fine.

You read it again.
Hmm.

Delete a sentence.
Add a “haha” so you don’t sound intense.
Remove the “haha” in case it looks forced.
Consider a thumbs up instead.
Decide that somehow looks passive aggressive.

Post it anyway.

Then wait.

And wait.

They’ve been online. You can see that.
But no reaction.

Now your brain is hosting a full inquiry.

“They’re annoyed.”

“I overstepped.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why did I say that?”

No one has accused you of anything.
There’s no actual evidence.
But your body has already decided you’re in trouble.

For some people, this isn’t just Facebook. It’s life.
A solid chunk of energy and attention is spent constantly checking the temperature of the room.

Scanning faces. Replaying conversations. Softening opinions. Apologising just in case. (Dead giveaway is if you apologise when someone else steps on your toes…..)

Not because you’ve done something wrong.
But because somewhere along the line, it felt safer to assume you had.

That’s what we call fawning.
It’s what happens to a nervous system that learned early on: “Keep the peace. Stay liked. Stay safe.”

Therapy doesn’t teach you not to care what anyone thinks.

It helps you notice when your brain is filling in a story that isn’t actually happening.
When your fear is louder than the facts.

And it gives you somewhere to put all that constant “Am I okay?” energy down for a while.

If you’re tired of feeling in trouble for just existing… we can work with that. Reach out, let's talk.

01/01/2026

By now your social feeds will be full of fresh starts.

Everyone is resetting, realigning, manifesting something.

If you’re feeling vaguely allergic to it all, that’s understandable. This can be a tough, slightly joyless time of year, and being told to feel hopeful on schedule rarely helps.

A lot of the people I work with don’t need motivation. They need a break from the constant commentary about how they should be feeling or who they should be becoming.

Therapy, as I practise it, isn’t about setting intentions or chasing a reset. It’s about having a realistic, honest space to talk about what’s actually going on, especially when the rest of the world seems determined to put a positive spin on everything.

If this is a difficult stretch for you, and you’re feeling out of step with everyone, trust me, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re navigating being human the best you can. But you don’t have to do that on your own - having someone in your corner can help more than you might be able to imagine right now.

I currently have a few midweek slots available for new clients in Chesterfield. No resolutions required. Just reach out and let’s start talking.

Call now to connect with business.