The Not So Fertile Psychologist

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Supporting women & couples to find balance on the rollercoaster of infertility💗

10+ years as a psychologist
3+ years of my own secondary infertility journey🍍

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Something a little different from me today.This week I spoke to The Metro about secondary infertility, a topic that does...
12/06/2026

Something a little different from me today.

This week I spoke to The Metro about secondary infertility, a topic that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime.

I shared some of our story, because I know how isolating it can feel to be struggling for a second child whilst everyone assumes you should simply be grateful for the one you have.

Secondary infertility is still infertility. The grief is real, the treatment is brutal, and the loneliness hurts.

If this resonates with you, or someone you know is going through this, please share this post.

The more we talk about it, the less alone people feel.

Read the full article via the link in my bio 🤍

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

If someone in your life is going through a difficult fertility journey and you want to show up for them but don’t know h...
10/06/2026

If someone in your life is going through a difficult fertility journey and you want to show up for them but don’t know how, this is for you. 👇

And if you are the one on the journey, send this to the people who love you.

Sometimes it is easier than trying to find the words yourself.

The most important thing is not saying the perfect thing.
It is simply showing up.

Let me know in the comments if you think I’m missing something, or if there is anything you don’t agree with.

💌 Save this and share it with someone who needs it today.

Subscribe to my FREE newsletter Beyond the Wait by replying SUPPORT below.

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. 💕

The physical impact of fertility treatment often falls on one person.And that deserves to be talked about. 👇This post is...
08/06/2026

The physical impact of fertility treatment often falls on one person.

And that deserves to be talked about. 👇

This post is for anyone carrying the physical impact right now.

Your body is going through something enormous.

It is okay to find that hard, unfair, and exhausting, even when you also know how much your partner is holding too.

If it makes you feel sad, lonely, angry, or frustrated you are not alone in feeling this way.

💌 Save this if it resonated, and send it to someone who needs to feel seen today.

Subscribe to my FREE newsletter Beyond the Wait by replying SUPPORT below.

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. 💕

07/06/2026

This week a Reform UK councillor in Kent compared IVF to a butt lift and a b**b job and called it a lifestyle choice. 👇

But nobody chooses infertility.

And nobody chooses the injections, the procedures, the grief, the toll on their relationships, their body, and their mental health that comes with it.

Saying IVF is a lifestyle choice is like saying treating a broken leg is optional.

Technically you could leave it, but you would be in pain, it would affect every part of your life, and nobody would ever suggest you simply choose not to treat it.

Infertility is a medical condition and IVF is its treatment.

And, to be clear, this isn’t new. People say this all the time about IVF.

But what makes this different is who is saying it.

In this context, calling IVF a lifestyle choice is allowing policy makers to make funding cuts that leave people without access to the treatment they desperately need.

People making decisions about NHS fertility funding do not need to have been through infertility themselves.

But they do need to understand what they are deciding about. And comparing it to cosmetic surgery suggests they definitely do not 😡

03/06/2026

You are showing up to work, answering emails, making plans, smiling at the right moments. You look, to most people, completely fine.

What they cannot see is everything going on underneath that.

The medication schedule you are managing around meetings.

The appointment you rearranged your entire week for.

The phone call from the clinic you are waiting on that is making it almost impossible to concentrate on anything else.

The research you were doing at midnight because there is never enough time during the day.

The impossible financial decisions you haven’t told people about.

The grief from last cycle that you haven’t had a moment to process yet.

The back and forth decision making about going to the baby shower or not.

And on top of all of that, you have the effort of holding yourself together so the people around you don’t worry.

The demands of the fertility journey are constant.

And because so much of it goes on in your mind, the people around you often have no idea how much you are actually carrying. Which means you rarely get the support you need.

If you are exhausted but can’t explain it to those who haven’t experienced it, this is why. You are managing something that would break lots of people.

That deserves to be acknowledged. 🖤

💌 Follow me for more on the emotional realities of the fertility journey and subscribe to my FREE newsletter Beyond the Wait by replying SUPPORT below.

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. 💕

This photo was taken during one of my rounds of IVF👇I look okay. Calm. Happy even. I was none of those things.So much of...
02/06/2026

This photo was taken during one of my rounds of IVF👇

I look okay. Calm. Happy even. I was none of those things.

So much of the fertility journey happens while we put on a smile for others.

The fear we hold before appointments.

The grief we hide away so others don’t worry.

The hope we show others because we feel we have to, even when we’ve almost run out of it.

If you’re carrying more than your smile is letting on right now, I want you to know you are not alone.

You are holding so much. Of course you aren’t only feeling positive.

💌 Follow me for more on the emotional realities of the fertility journey.

And subscribe to my FREE newsletter Beyond the Wait by replying SUPPORT below.

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. 💕

fertilityspecialist

31/05/2026

Secondary infertility hurts in a different way👇

Because often all people see is the child you have. And they think that should be enough.

But grief doesn’t work like that.

You can be incredibly grateful for the child you have AND devastated that you don’t have another. And that you can’t bring your child a sibling.

Those things aren’t opposites.

But that’s hard to explain to people who haven’t been there.

The pain of secondary infertility is real. It is valid. And it deserves to be acknowledged.

If you are carrying this quietly because you feel you don’t have the right to struggle, I want you to know you absolutely do.

💌 Follow me for more on the emotional realities of infertility.

You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. 💕

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