Ali Stevens Mains-Play Therapist

29/07/2026

It's not naughty, it's communication.

Ashleigh Warner - the core philosophy of conscious parenting and emotional regulation -

· Behaviour: Actions like lashing out, crying, or shutting down are outward signals.

· Feeling: Behavior is triggered by emotions like frustration, fear, or loneliness.

· Need: Feelings stem from unmet needs like safety, connection, or autonomy

· Responding and looking beyond the behaviour -

· Pause Your Reaction: Stop before punishing or correcting an outward action.

· Decode the Signal: Ask yourself what emotion is driving the current response.

· Identify the Gap: Pinpoint the underlying physical or emotional necessity.

· Address the Cause: Focus on meeting the gap to naturally shift the action

07/07/2026

🌈 What is Play Therapy? 🧸

Sometimes our feelings can be so big that they're hard to explain with words.

In Play Therapy, you don't have to have all the answers. You can use toys, games, art, sand, stories and imagination to show what's inside.

It's a safe place where you can:
💛 Be yourself
🧸 Play freely
💭 Explore your worries
🌱 Grow in confidence
😊 Have fun while learning about your feelings

There is no right or wrong way to play. Your Play Therapist is there to listen, understand and help you feel safe.

Because sometimes... playing is another way of talking. 💚

18/06/2026

12/06/2026

10/06/2026

Children do not exist in isolation. They are affected by what is happening around them, even when adults believe they are shielding them from difficulties.

Family and environmental stress can take many forms, including parental separation, bereavement, illness, financial pressures, housing changes, conflict within the home, caring responsibilities or significant life transitions. Even positive changes can sometimes feel overwhelming for children.

Children often communicate distress through their behaviour rather than words. This may look like increased anxiety, emotional outbursts, withdrawal, sleep difficulties, low mood, reduced confidence or challenges at school.

Play therapy provides children with a safe and developmentally appropriate space to process their experiences. Through play, creative expression and the therapeutic relationship, children can explore feelings, make sense of what is happening around them and develop healthier ways of coping.

When children feel understood and supported, they are often better able to manage challenges and thrive both at home and in school.

24/05/2026

Some children desperately want friendships and connection, but struggle to maintain relationships with others. They may find social situations confusing, become overwhelmed easily, misread social cues or struggle with trust, flexibility or emotional regulation within relationships.

These difficulties can leave children feeling isolated, rejected or misunderstood.

Play therapy can support children with relationship difficulties because the therapeutic relationship itself becomes part of the healing process. Within a safe and consistent relationship, children experience acceptance, attunement and emotional safety which can gradually strengthen trust and relational confidence.

Play also allows children to practise interaction, communication, emotional expression and problem solving in a way that feels developmentally appropriate and non threatening. Through games, creativity and shared play experiences, children can begin to build confidence in relating to others.

Often, children learn about relationships not through being told, but through experiencing them.

18/05/2026

I’m currently looking to fill the remaining spaces in the 5–6 age group for my Small Group Play Therapy pilot running this June in East Linton.

This small therapeutic group is designed for children who may feel overwhelmed, have big emotional reactions, or find group situations difficult to manage.

The group will remain intentionally small, with a focus on regulation through play within a supportive therapeutic environment.

Saturdays in June
The Mart, East Linton

Details in the flyer below.

If you’d like to explore whether this may be the right fit for your child, email to arrange a short initial call:

[email protected]

18/05/2026

PDA vs ODD: What’s the difference?

On the surface, Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) can look similar – both involve a young person resisting or refusing demands.

But the why behind the behaviour is very different.
🔹 PDA is rooted in anxiety and the need for control to feel safe.
🔹 ODD is driven more by patterns of anger, irritability, and defiance.

Understanding the difference matters – because how we support a child depends on what’s underneath.

💬 Have you ever wondered whether a child’s resistance is PDA or ODD?

NEWLY AVAILABLE to accompany our series on the topic. Only £3.25 until 7 October 2025.
Misunderstood Defiance: the Vulnerable Child Toolkit for Parents & Educators
Electronic download available at link in comments.

09/05/2026

If your child is experiencing heightened levels of anxiety, play therapy may help. Spaces available in East Linton, please email to arrange an initial call to see if this may be helpful for you. [email protected]

Children experiencing anxiety often live in a heightened state of alertness. Their nervous system may remain focused on detecting possible danger, even when adults around them perceive situations as safe. Anxiety can therefore show up in many ways including school avoidance, perfectionism, physical symptoms, sleep difficulties, anger or a strong need for reassurance and control.

Children do not always have the developmental ability to explain complex worries verbally. In fact, anxious children may struggle even more to access language when they are feeling overwhelmed, as anxiety activates the brain’s survival systems.

Play Therapy provides an alternative route for communication and processing that does not rely solely on verbal discussion.

Through metaphor, symbolic play and creative expression, children can externalise fears safely and indirectly. This can help children gain a greater sense of mastery, understanding and emotional distance from overwhelming experiences.

The therapeutic relationship itself is also central. A predictable, accepting and emotionally attuned relationship can help calm the nervous system over time, allowing children to gradually feel safer both emotionally and physically. As safety increases, children are often better able to process worries, build confidence and develop coping strategies.