Matthew Boyce Counselling

28/06/2026

Reflecting on my week, I’m struck with a sense of gratitude and love for those around me and what I have and I would like to share this with you.

In therapy, we often hear about the difficult times, the traumas we’ve experienced, and noticing how over time the rigidity of the pain bleeds into a fluidity of self-love and acceptance. It’s an understanding that while we can’t change the past, we have power over how it affects us - we control how we emotionally respond to situations which would otherwise trigger us.

This happened to me at the beginning of the week, where I was involved in a traffic collision for the first time in my life. My immediate response to the situation was a flash-in-the-pan anger at myself: “How could I be so stupid?! What will x/y/z think of me?”. My self-critic came up in its usual attempts at self-destructive behaviour. I paused, took a moment, checked Pepper was okay (he was!) and set to task. I contacted my partner for support, exchanged details with the other party, and made a successful albeit anxious drive home.

There were mistakes made during the process - I forgot to get certain details, had no way to verify other details. Lessons learned for the next time this hopefully never happens! Throughout, I was struck by the calmness and grace of my partner and my friends who supported me. To you I say a deep heartfelt “Thank you.” Your support means the world to me and I am grateful to have you in my life.

23/06/2026

Something I've grappled with throughout my life has been self-worth and believing in myself. It's gotten easier over time, as I've turned my lens of comparison inward rather than external. I still catch myself feeling envious of experiences people are having, or where they are in life compared to myself.

As I sit with myself and reflect on my life and where I am versus where I've come from, I find myself thinking on one of the hardest lessons I've learned and tasks I've taken to build my self-worth: Looking at myself in the mirror, holding eye contact and saying out loud, "I accept myself unconditionally right now."

And I do. I am grateful for where I am, the lessons I've learned to get to where I am and the people who I have had the pleasure to share the path with and learn alongside. I am enough.

You are enough, just as you are, and you deserve to be met fully and unconditionally.

13/04/2026

I hope you’re all having a good start to the week and enjoying the return of some sunshine. Following on from my post last, I wanted to spend a bit of time expanding my thoughts on procrastination, particularly around working with procrastination in a Person-Centred context. Let’s have a look at some of the theory, how it can manifest, and some tips/tricks which can help someone overcome procrastination.

So, some theory! Carl Rogers viewed procrastination not as laziness, but as a symptom of the actualising tendency - stalling growth & change caused by fear, guilt, shame, perfectionism, and ‘conditions of worth’ (i.e. an external locus of evaluation). Rogers believed true change comes from self-acceptance and unconditional positive regard, rather than self-criticism. How do we find ourselves feeling safe enough to act, while accepting free will in that you have the choice to procrastinate… but you also then accept the consequences of that choice.

In short, if we replace shame and rigid expectations with self-compassion, we can foster the internal safety to move forward.

I would look to work with you to identify what is causing your procrastination, meeting you with unconditional positive regard, empathy, and acceptance. We would seek to understand where these feelings are coming from, these incongruences, by gently exploring the bits of yourself you’re perhaps in denial about and distorting. This might sound frightening, and if you’re feeling seen or called out by reading this, perhaps it is worth reflecting on why. We’d work to understand this, build awareness, and to empower you to lead the change you want to see. Awareness is half the battle - meaningful change, the risk of ‘not knowing’, ‘getting it wrong’, are the places where the work and change opportunities are.

With that in mind, what are some of the common signs of Procrastination? Here are some of the signs of Procrastination I’ve experienced both in my personal and professional life:

Avoidance of tasks, or unpleasant feelings (Yes, this can be connected to conflict avoidance and people pleasing too!)

Overwhelm / Anxiety - It's easier to delay a task than complete it (This can be linked with Perfectionism and Helplessness)

Fear of Failure and Judgment - Externalised Judgment (e.g. “What will others think of the work I produce?”)

‘Bad’ Habits (e.g. “Doomscrolling”)

No Interest in the task itself

And some quick tips and ideas for things that can help someone to overcome Procrastination, in no particular order:

Becoming aware of when we are procrastinating, the patterns/cycles we experience (e.g. late-night doom-scrolling, over-exercising, playing video games)

Time Management (e.g. “2 minute rule” - If something important can be done in 2 mins, do it to get it off the ‘To Do’ list)

Build your schedule and be disciplined with it

Effective Prioritisation (e.g. Some clients have found using structured prioritisation techniques useful, like Urgent/Important/Non-Urgent/Non-Important grid)

“Eat the Frog” - Do the most difficult important task first.

You can try to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks (e.g. if you have a 5000 word assignment due, chunk out the task of writing into 1000 word segments which can help the overall task feel less daunting)

Reduce Distractions (e.g. No phones, social media, etc. etc.)

Develop consistent habits (Discipline > Motivation)

Reward yourself for completing important tasks (e.g. work for an hour, take a 15min break)

Please comment, share your experiences of procrastination and what’s helped you to overcome those moments of “F**k, am I good enough to do this?”. If there’s anything you think I’ve missed or would like to see in future, please let me know!

Thank you,

Matthew

06/04/2026

Good afternoon, and happy Monday!

I wanted to start off this week with sharing something I’ve struggled with throughout my life: procrastination. I recently left the relative safety of full-time employment to ‘go it alone’ in the world of self-employment, and in doing so I'm having to overcome my fear of judgment in content creation while sharing my authentic self with you. And, in the spirit of this transparent authenticity, I have procrastinated on writing this! I figure sharing a piece on my thoughts on procrastination is a good starting place to get me ‘over the hump’.

While everyone, at some point, puts things off, procrastinators will actively avoid difficult tasks, by looking for alternative distractions. Procrastination is the voluntary, unnecessary delay of important tasks, despite knowing there will be negative consequences. It’s an issue arising from dysfunctional emotional regulation (NOT laziness) where procrastinators avoid stresses of important tasks by distracting themselves with less important but more short-term psychologically rewarding activities.

In my experience, thoughts of “I don’t feel like it”, “I don’t want to”, “This is more fun/easier”, have taken precedence over long-term goals or immediate responsibilities. I noticed my avoiding the tasks set me on a downward spiral - my self-worth/value coming into question due to negative emotions (guilt/shame stressors, usually) which deters future effort: After all, if you feel bad having already delayed the task, why wouldn’t you continue doing the thing that makes you feel good, safe, and comfortable?

Recognising the symptoms I experienced, I sat myself down and time-tabled my day: Dedicating set time to complete important and urgent tasks in a distraction free environment (sorry, phone, for the neglect!). Making space for rewarding my effort by taking planned breaks, and starting with the 'big' tasks first helped me when it came to the smaller ones. Motivation was fleeting - I needed to remain disciplined and trust myself and my process. Clearly, something worked!

I’ll share some thoughts on how I would look to approach working with a client in a therapeutic relationship who is seeking support in overcoming procrastination in a separate post and perhaps a video(!), and for now I’d like to simply say thank you for your time in reading this.

If you have any comments, wish to share an experience, feedback, or thoughts on other content you’d like to see, please reply or send me a message!

Warmly,
Matthew

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