06/05/2026
When Women Block Women: A Shine Theory Call to Inspire Inclusion
We have worked so hard for equality and equity.
Harder than many generations before us.
And yet if we’re honest we still have much work to do.
One of the most uncomfortable truths I’ve come to recognise is this:
sometimes women are the blockers.
That statement can feel confronting, even disappointing. But it matters that we talk about it not to criticise women, but to understand why it happens and how we choose to respond differently.
Conditioned by a Patriarchal Blueprint
Many of us have built our careers in systems designed long before women were ever meant to lead. Patriarchal structures rewarded dominance, competition, hierarchy, and a very narrow definition of success.
I’ve worked with many HR leaders who’ve openly shared this paradox: even when recruiting women, they’re often encouraged to look for candidates with traditionally masculine, alpha traits assertive, forceful, uncompromising as though leadership can only succeed when it imitates male models of power.
When access to opportunity feels limited, competition can replace collaboration. Scarcity thinking creeps in.
And Shine Theory disappears.
Shine Theory Reminds Us: There Is Room for Everyone
Shine Theory coined by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow asks us to reject the idea that another woman’s success threatens our own. Instead, it teaches us that when one of us shines, we all do.
But Shine Theory requires intention.
It requires us to unlearn the belief that there’s only room for one woman at the table and instead start building bigger tables.
True inclusion doesn’t mean sameness.
It means embracing difference different leadership styles, lived experiences, neurodiversity, cultures, identities, energies. One size does not fit all, and it never has.
The world does not need more imitation patriarchs.
It needs matriarchal leadership collaborative, emotionally intelligent, values‑led, human.
When Competition Costs Us More Than We Realise
When women act with selfishness or excessive competitiveness, it doesn’t just harm individuals it reinforces the very systems we claim to want dismantled.
It silences voices.
It fractures communities.
And it keeps us stuck fighting for crumbs instead of creating abundance together.
Shine Theory challenges this behaviour not by shaming, but by offering a better way.
Support is not weakness.
Collaboration is not mediocrity.
And lifting another woman does not lower your own worth.
A Note to the Lurkers
And now, a moment for the lurkers.
We know you’re watching.
Reading.
Observing quietly from the sidelines.
This is your invitation.
You don’t need to be the loudest voice to be part of the change. But inclusion requires participation. It asks you to step forward, to support openly, to celebrate publicly, and to challenge quietly when you see women being undermined.
Embrace the difference.
Resist comparison.
Choose support over silence.
Because when we help each other shine, we shine even brighter.
The Call to Action
Equality and equity were never meant to be solitary journeys.
So let’s:
Amplify other women’s voices
Make space, not gatekeep
Redefine leadership on our terms
Practice Shine Theory daily not just when it’s convenient
Collaboration. Every time.
That’s how we honour those who fought before us and how we build a future worthy of those coming next.
