Fai Yousaf Counselling Services

Fai Yousaf Counselling Services Glasgow based counsellor (NCPS Acr) offering a space for you to talk through any difficulties

26/06/2026

'He's such a good son to his mum' often gets treated as proof that he knows how to treat women.

But being devoted to his mum and knowing how to be in an intimate relationship aren't the same thing.

One question worth asking is: what did he grow up seeing between his parents?

How did his father speak to his mother?
How were disagreements handled?
Was care reciprocal or one-sided?
Did he see respect, emotional attending and partnership modelled at home?

Many of us absorb our understanding of relationships not from what we're told but from what we repeatedly witness growing up.

A man can love his mother deeply and still expect a wife to carry the emotional load, prioritise everyone else's needs or tolerate dynamics his mum may have endured herself. Infact, he might even wonder why you don't if his mum put up with it.

You're not looking for someone who treats women well when that woman is in the role of a parent.

You're looking for someone who knows how to show up as an equal, a respectful and emotionally available partner.

The question isn't just, 'How does he treat his mum?'

It's also, 'What messages about women, marriage and partnership did he absorb growing up?'

26/05/2026

You know what I often see - when women are raised to be self-sacrificing, endlessly accommodating, quiet about their pain and responsible for everyone else’s emotions… a woman who refuses to live this way can feel threatening.

Because her choices challenge everything that had to be normalised to cope.

So instead of asking:

'What if I could live like that too?'

Some women instinctively respond with:

She’s selfish.
She’s changed.
No man gonna accept that.
She’s become too gora-fied.

This is how cultural trauma often continues between women - through women policing other women back into silence because suffering has been mistaken as a virtuous quality for generations.

And this is why healing matters.

Because unhealed pain doesn’t just hurt us as individuals. It shapes how we treat women who dare to do things differently!

If another woman’s boundaries, confidence, joy, standards or autonomy trigger something in you, it’s worth being curious around how you wish you could be and what you need to do to get there.

Healing is learning that another woman choosing herself is not an attack on you, your culture or faith but evidence that a different way of living is possible.

And for the women being judged right now for changing, growing, speaking up or refusing to tolerate what you once tolerated:

Please know that traumatised systems almost always fear women who start the ripple of change.

Follow me for more conversations on generational trauma, South Asian family dynamics and healing as a South Asian or Muslim woman.

18/05/2026

So many Brown women are taught that being “good” means being endlessly available and never upsetting anybody.

And what I'm hearing from some of you is that post partum hit and a lot of people in your lives felt entitled to your time, your baby, your home and your energy.

PSA: Wanting rest, privacy and space while healing in any capacity does not make you selfish.

Boundaries don't have to be put across aggressively but however which way it's done - know that you're going to have to become more comfortable disappointing people.

If you’re postpartum or reflecting back now; what do you wish you had been more vocal about during that time?

Or what do you feel you managed to do successfully during that time despite the fact it could or might have upset others?

I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.

Follow along for conversations that challenge guilt, people-pleasing and cultural conditioning in Brown and Muslim women.

27/02/2026

Uff - I did a video around a topic that comes up in my conversations with women - being childless by choice and there seemed to be a lot of Muslim folk who felt a type of way about it.

I was quite shocked by the reactions from women in particular which made me wonder why it caused such a heated reaction from them.....projection?

26/02/2026

There’s another layer to this that doesn’t get spoken about enough.

For many women who don’t want children (or aren’t sure if they do), it’s not just about navigating societal, cultural or family expectations.

It’s about navigating marriage too.

Because the reality is a lot of men are still approaching marriage with a fixed script:

marriage = children

So if you don’t fit into that.....?

You start to feel like you’re no longer an option.

I speak to women who feel like they have to choose between being honest about what they want or being chosen at all

And that’s a horribly tough place to be in.

Because instead of being seen as a whole person with her own wants and wishes - you’re reduced to what you can provide.

A future mother.
A function.

Not necessarily a person in her own right.

You deserve to be chosen for who you are and not for a role you can play.

And I'd love to think that the right relationship won’t require you to negotiate away something this fundamental.

Do you feel like you can be fully honest about what you want when it comes to relationships or marriage?

I talk about the things many women feel but don’t always say out loud so follow along if that resonates.

11/02/2026

My therapy notes: calm.

Client emotions: 🔥🔥🔥

Save this for your next therapy laugh and follow for some honest therapy reflections in amongst it all.

*Any scenarios or statements portrayed are fictionalized or inspired by general experiences - nothing is taken directly from client sessions to protect confidentiality*

Address

Spiersbridge
Glasgow
G468NG

Telephone

+447432128670

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