06/08/2026
Love is not enough.
Learnt that the hard way didn't I...
Marriage is a big commitment. When you're in love it's really hard to make proper decisions. I didn't know that I would start to resent him for having a career while I could only take part time jobs, I didn't know that he would stop wanting to have a bedroom-related relationship, I didn't realise that his PlayStation would remain a feature even though we had three children, I didn't think he'd never want to travel, I didn't think his inability to maintain a steady weight was going to annoy me, I didn't realise I had so much childhood trauma, I didn't realise HE had so much childhood trauma... I could go on.
But what really broke us? The lack of love-making. The complete lack of intimacy. Not because I didn't want to, but because his trauma and his career and his tiredness stood in front of 'us' and nothing I did could break through.
He is still one of my best friends and he is a wonderful father. Have I thought about trying again? Sure. But then I remember, and I look at what I have now and can't let myself consider it.
I met somebody who opened me up like a sardine can and made love to me in ways I didn't know existed ... and everything changed. My life is completely different and I love it. I feel alive again!