Joanne Reed Free to be me Counselling Services

12/08/2026

Clients tell me they feel like they're standing on the outside of life, watching everyone else carry on.

Conversations that once felt easy now feel exhausting.

The things your friends are worrying about seem trivial compared to what you've lived through.

You smile when you're supposed to. You join in when you can but inside, there's often a quiet thought.

"Nobody else seems to see the world the way I do now."

Loss changes more than your emotions. It changes your perspective.

You may find yourself questioning what matters, who matters and how you want to spend your life.

That shift can feel lonely but it doesn't mean you'll always feel disconnected.

Many people eventually find relationships that feel deeper, more honest and more meaningful than before.

Sometimes grief doesn't just change who you are. It changes where you belong.

Sound familiar? I have availability, just get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

11/08/2026

There are thoughts grieving people never admit out loud because they feel ashamed of having them.

One of them is this:

"I feel jealous of people whose lives are still... normal."

Not because you don't want good things for them. Not because you're bitter, but because you're painfully aware of everything your own life has lost.

You see people making plans without having to think twice. They laugh without guilt. They talk about the future with excitement instead of uncertainty. They wake up without carrying the weight of a loss that has changed everything.

For a moment, you find yourself longing for the life you had before grief entered it.

That longing isn't selfish. It's grief.

Loss doesn't only take away the person who died. It often takes away your sense of safety, your confidence, your future plans and the version of yourself who believed life would unfold differently.

No wonder it hurts to watch other people living the life you thought you would still have.

If you've ever felt guilty for having these thoughts, I hope you'll hear this instead.

You are not wishing hardship on anyone else. You are grieving the life that was taken from you.

There is an important difference.

Have you ever judged yourself for thoughts that, when you really looked at them, were simply another expression of grief?

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

10/08/2026

If you’ve found my page because grief has changed more than you ever expected, you’re in the right place.

I’m Joanne, a Grief and Loss Counsellor and an Accredited Member of the BACP.

I work with adults experiencing bereavement and loss, including su***de bereavement, sudden or traumatic death, and grief that feels particularly difficult or complicated.

But those words don’t always describe what it actually feels like to live with grief.

You might be functioning perfectly well on the outside while privately wondering why you’re still struggling.

You might feel anxious about losing someone else, guilty about things you did or didn’t do, angry at the person who died, frightened of forgetting them, relieved that they're gone, jealous of people whose lives haven't changed, or completely lost without the person you used to be when they were here.

You might simply be thinking:

"Surely I should be coping better than this by now?"

These are the parts of grief I talk about here.

The uncomfortable thoughts. The questions you Google but wouldn't necessarily ask someone you know. The things that can leave you wondering whether what you're experiencing is normal.

And they're also the things you can bring into counselling with me.

You don't have to tidy up your grief before you talk about it. You don't need to protect me from the difficult parts, and I'm not going to tell you that it's time to move on.

My role is to help you understand what you're experiencing, make sense of what has changed and find a way of living with your loss that feels possible for you.

I offer online and telephone counselling for adults across the UK, so you can access support from your own space.

If you're new here, have a look around. You may find I've already talked about something you've been struggling to put into words.

And if you feel I might be the right counsellor for you, you're very welcome to get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne
Grief & Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

***debereavement grieftherapy onlinecounsellinguk griefandloss

10/08/2026

People often assume grieving people withdraw because they want to be alone. The truth is often much more complicated.

Sometimes it's because you're exhausted from answering the same questions.

Sometimes it's because you're tired of saying, "I'm fine," when you're anything but.

Sometimes it's because you don't know how to explain what's happening inside you without feeling like you're bringing the mood down.

You may find yourself turning down invitations, ignoring messages or cancelling plans at the last minute. Not because you don't care about the people inviting you, but because the thought of having to hold yourself together for a couple of hours feels overwhelming.

Grief can make even the simplest social interaction feel like hard work.

If this is you, it doesn't mean you're becoming antisocial. It doesn't mean you're pushing everyone away on purpose. It often means you're trying to protect the little emotional energy you have left.

The answer isn't to force yourself into situations you're not ready for.

It's to begin understanding what your withdrawal is trying to tell you.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

07/08/2026

One of the things clients often say to me is,

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

My answer is usually the same.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you."

What's happened is that you've experienced something life changing.

You're trying to function with a nervous system that's been overwhelmed.

You're carrying sadness, fear, love, longing, guilt and exhaustion all at the same time.

Of course life feels different.

Our work isn't about getting rid of grief.

It's about helping you understand it because when you stop believing you're broken, you can begin responding to yourself with much more compassion, and that's often where healing quietly begins.

When you stop fighting yourself, you have more energy to begin living alongside your grief rather than feeling consumed by it.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

06/08/2026

It's one of the questions people search for most, but rarely admit out loud.

Grief can feel incredibly lonely, even when you're not physically alone.

People ask how you are, but change the subject when you answer honestly.

Friends stop mentioning the person who died because they're worried they'll upset you.

Conversations become smaller. You become quieter.

Over time, it can begin to feel as though everyone has returned to normal life while you're still trying to understand yours.

The loneliness isn't always caused by being alone.
It's often caused by feeling unseen.

One of the most powerful moments in therapy isn't when someone stops crying.

It's when they realise they no longer have to hide what grief really feels like.

If you are tired of hiding, I have availability just get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

05/08/2026

One of the things people rarely tell you about grief is that it doesn't just leave you missing someone.

Sometimes it leaves you missing yourself.

You might look in the mirror and recognise your face, but not feel like the person looking back. The things that once mattered don't seem to fit anymore. Your confidence has changed. Your future feels unfamiliar. Even making simple decisions can feel harder than they used to.

People often assume this means something is wrong with them.

In reality, it can be a deeply human response to loss.

When someone important dies, you don't only lose the relationship. You can also lose the version of yourself that existed within that relationship. That can leave you wondering:

"Who am I now?"

It's one of the most profound questions grief can bring, yet it's something we don't talk about nearly enough.

I've written a new blog exploring why grief can affect your identity, why you may feel disconnected from yourself, and why finding your way again isn't about becoming the person you were before your loss. It's about gently discovering who you are now, while still carrying the love you have for the person you've lost.

If this is something you've been struggling with, I hope it helps you feel a little less alone.

🔗 You can read the full blog here: https://www.freetobemecounselling.co.uk/grief-resources/griefandidentitychanges

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Grief can leave you questioning not only your future, but your sense of who you are. This blog explores identity loss after bereavement, why it happens, and how counselli

05/08/2026

People assume confidence disappears because something bad has happened.

In grief, it's often much more complicated than that.

Loss shakes the foundations you built your life upon. The person who reassured you, encouraged you or simply made the world feel safer is no longer there. Suddenly, everyday decisions can feel overwhelming.

You begin second guessing yourself.

"What if I get it wrong?"

"What if something else goes wrong?"

"What if I can't cope?"

What looks like a lack of confidence is often your nervous system trying to protect you after experiencing something life changing.

When you understand this, something shifts.

You stop criticising yourself for becoming uncertain and start responding with compassion instead.

Confidence doesn't usually return all at once.

It comes back through small moments where you begin trusting yourself again.

If you'd like to explore this with me I have availability, just get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

04/08/2026

Have you ever found yourself Googling questions about grief or wondering whether what you're feeling is normal?

Questions like...

• Why does grief feel worse at night?
• Is it normal to still be grieving after a year?
• Why do I feel guilty after their death?
• Will I ever feel like myself again?
• Do I have to talk about the death straight away?
• What if I don't want to get over my grief?
• How could grief counselling help me?

These are some of the questions people ask me most often, and many are the thoughts that stay hidden because they're difficult to say out loud.

I've expanded the FAQ section on my website to answer these questions honestly and compassionately. Whether you're grieving, living with anxiety or depression, or simply trying to understand what's happening to you, I hope you'll find something that helps you feel a little less alone.

You don't have to have all the answers before reaching out for support. Sometimes understanding begins with asking the question.

Take a look here: https://www.freetobemecounselling.co.uk/counselling-faqs

Best wishes,

Joanne Reed
BACP Accredited Grief & Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

04/08/2026

One of the questions I hear most often is, "Why do I feel guilty when I laugh?"

It can happen in the most ordinary moments. You're enjoying a conversation, watching a film, spending time with family or simply noticing that, for a little while, the weight of grief has lifted. Then, almost as quickly, the guilt arrives.

"How can I be laughing when they're gone?"

"Am I forgetting them?"

"Does this mean I'm moving on?"

For many people, those moments of relief feel more uncomfortable than the grief itself. The pain has become so closely connected to love that feeling better can seem like evidence that you're loving less.

But grief doesn't ask you to stop living in order to prove how much someone mattered.

Your capacity to smile doesn't erase your sadness.

Your ability to enjoy today doesn't diminish your love for the person who died.

Both can exist together.

In time, you'll discover that healing isn't about leaving your loved one behind. It's about finding a way to carry them with you while allowing yourself to experience life again.

If this is something you've been struggling with, please know you're not alone. It's a far more common part of grief than most people realise.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: [email protected]

Telephone: 07594 720245

***deloss