14/08/2026
THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT JUNGLE ๐๐ฟ
The third time I sat with the medicine,
I didnโt come looking for an escape.
I came looking for the places
I had buried beneath the years.
The grief.
The memories.
The old wounds.
The stories I had carried
long after they had finished serving me.
Six gates were opened.
Five drops of medicine were placed.
And somehow, with less,
I received more.
Much more.
The medicine moved through me
like a jungle storm
wild, ancient, uncompromising.
And somewhere between the purge
and the surrender,
between the breath and the silence,
I met her.
The Queen of the Night Jungle. ๐
My Black Jaguar.
My feminine power.
My shadow walker.
My protector.
My ally.
She walked beside me
through the places I was afraid to look.
She didn't ask me to be smaller.
She didn't ask me to run.
She stood beside me
while I felt it all.
And when something inside me broke open,
she reminded me:
You have survived this.
You are still here.
Now you are allowed to live.
There were emotions I didn't expect.
A release deeper than the body.
And somewhere in that darkness,
my mind became quiet.
For the first time in what feels like forever,
the noise softened.
The endless thinking.
The constant doing.
The need to fix, organise, plan, control.
Gone.
Or at least quiet enough
for me to hear something underneath it all.
Myself.
Just Heidi.
Sitting beneath the sky.
Breathing.
Listening.
Being.
And perhaps that is the medicine
I needed most.
Not becoming someone else.
But remembering who I already was.
I never used to believe
in spirit realms, guides or allies.
Not really.
But some things stop being beliefs
when they become a knowing.
And on that Monday,
I knew.
I wasn't alone.
The Black Jaguar walked with me.
The jungle medicine opened the door.
And I walked through it.
Not healed of everything.
Not finished.
Not suddenly free from every wound.
But lighter.
Clearer.
Softer.
Stronger.
More present.
More willing to let go.
And now there is only one thing
left on my bucket list...
To sit with these medicines
where they were born.
Deep in the jungle.
With the Indigenous people
who have carried these traditions
through generations.
To sit beneath the ancient trees,
with the songs, the smoke, the earth,
the medicine and the wisdom of the jungle.
Not as a tourist.
Not to take.
But to listen.
To learn.
To honour.
To surrender.
Until then,
I will keep walking with my Jaguar.
One foot in this world.
One foot in the spirit realm.
Heart open.
Feet rooted.
Eyes forward.
And remembering...
I don't need to become the woman I was searching for.
I only need to keep remembering
the woman I already am. ๐๐ฟ๐ฅ
