27/04/2026
This weekend, the audience was wonderful. They did not just attend the workshop; they brought it alive. I had the privilege of holding a workshop on the hidden wound of neurodivergent families at the UKATA conference.
We explored what happens when neurodivergence creates a painful gap within families. Sometimes family members do love each other, but they cannot fully understand each other. Their nervous systems, communication styles, sensory needs, emotional rhythms, and expectations may be so different that the relationship becomes full of misunderstanding.
One of the most painful parts is the gap between:
the relationship we hoped for,
and the relationship that is actually possible.
For many neurodivergent people, there can be a long grief in this. The grief of not being understood. The grief of not being met in the way we needed. The grief of wanting depth, closeness, repair, and recognition from people who may not be able to offer it in the way we long for.
In the workshop, we worked through a five-step process for recognising this gap, grieving it, and beginning to build a more realistic relationship.
What moved me most was the way people shared and listened to each other. There was such honesty, tenderness, and respect in the room. Their reflections brought the material alive in a way that no theory could have done on its own.
It reminded me again that neuro-informed work is not only about strategies. It is also about grief, acceptance, repair, and learning to relate to ourselves and others with more truth.
