Hayley Barker-Smith - Psychotherapy & Breathwork

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Spiritual Psychotherapy

Conscious Connected Breathwork

Certified ADHD Specialist supporting those with/without diagnosis

PMDD/trauma informed cyclical business leader working with the Mind, Body, & Spirit bringing balance to aching hearts
❤️‍🔥

12/06/2026

Some emotions don’t just stay in the mind, they live in the body too.

You might feel anxiety as a tight chest, overwhelm as exhaustion, shame as heaviness or anger as heat moving through your body.

This is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about approaches that work with both the mind and body together.

Sometimes talking helps us understand what we’re feeling and sometimes the body needs space to process the parts that are hard to reach with words.

So if you’ve ever felt like you understand your patterns intellectually, but still feel stuck emotionally, that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

It might mean there’s another layer that needs care and attention too.

Breathwork is a modality that people don’t often think of first, but it can be so effective - I’ve been working with it for decades for both myself and my clients. If it’s something you’d like to try for yourself, send me a message.

05/06/2026

A lot of people still think ADHD is simply about being distracted or unable to focus.

But for many women, the emotional side of ADHD is the part that impacts them most.

You might feel things intensely and struggle to come back down once your nervous system has been activated.

You might replay conversations for hours or become seriously affected by things other people seem able to brush off.

Or you might snap and unleash a whole world of rage upon someone when on reflection, it’s unwarranted.

This is why emotional regulation is such an important part of understanding ADHD. It might feel like suppressing your feelings if your only option, but it’s possible to support yourself in those moments of overwhelm - that really is the key to living well with ADHD.

29/05/2026

Have you ever noticed your body reacting before you’ve consciously realised something is wrong?

You might feel tension in your shoulders or a tight chest, or suddenly you might feel like you’re really tired out of nowhere and you have to leave right away.

This is your body picking up on overwhelm long before your mind has had a chance to catch up, and it’s something I work with a lot in both psychotherapy and breathwork sessions.

Many people have spent years disconnecting from their bodies in order to cope, especially if they’ve lived with trauma, ADHD, PMDD or chronic stress.

But when you begin paying attention to the signals your body is giving you, it becomes easier to recognise your limits before you hit complete burnout.

It might feel like your body is working against you, but often it’s actually trying to protect you.

This can be tricky territory to try to navigate alone, so if you feel you would benefit from some support, feel free to reach out - I’d love to help.

25/05/2026

One of the things I’ve heard from women with ADHD and PMDD is, “I just don’t feel like myself.”

Sometimes that feeling has been there for years. You might remember periods where you felt lighter, more capable, or more connected to life and wonder where that version of you went.

Over time, burnout, masking, overwhelm and years of pushing through can create a real sense of disconnection from yourself because so much energy has gone into simply surviving.

When we talk about ‘healing’, it can sound like everything will be different and we’ll become a sparkly new version of ourselves, but I like to think of it as reconnecting with the parts of yourself that have been buried underneath all that exhaustion and shame.

That process takes time and it’s rarely linear, but it IS possible to find your way back to yourself again.

07/05/2026

Do you ever spend time with people you like and enjoy yourself in the moment but then afterwards feel completely drained?

For many people with ADHD, there’s often a lot happening underneath the interaction itself.

You’re reading the room, tracking the conversation, managing your responses and perhaps masking parts of yourself to fit the situation.

All of that takes energy, so it’s not at all unusual to feel tired, irritable or like you need to withdraw afterwards. Your system needs time to recover from all the effort it’s taken to socialise.

Knowing this about yourself doesn’t change the fact you need your recovery time, but it does mean you can plan for it and be more compassionate with yourself when the situation arises.

Becoming aware of things like this makes all the difference when it comes to living well with ADHD. The more of an understanding you have of your own needs, the more you’re able to support yourself and the less you’ll find yourself judging and berating the things that make you, you!

28/04/2026

Emotional dysregulation is a core part of ADHD, but it’s not talked about enough.

It can feel like your emotions come on suddenly and intensely and once you’re in it, it’s hard to think clearly or step back.

You might feel overwhelmed, reactive or completely flooded by what you’re feeling, and then afterwards, there’s often confusion, exhaustion, or even shame about how strong the reaction was.

It might feel like you’re “too much” or like you’re not coping well enough, but it’s actually your nervous system becoming overloaded. In those moments, it can feel impossible to regulate the way you’re feeling.

If this is something you’re struggling with, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. I have a small number of spots open at the moment for 1-1 therapy and/or breathwork, feel free to send me a message to explore working together.

15/04/2026

When people talk about meditation, it’s normally presented as something that’s going to bring you peace and relaxation, but if you’re neurodivergent, it’s more likely to bring you more awareness.

More awareness might feel like:

- noticing how tired you are
- noticing how lonely you’ve been
- noticing how much you’ve masked
- noticing how much the world has taken out of you

It can feel like you’re “more detached,” but really you’re:

- less masked
- less performative
- less able to tolerate environments that drain you
- more aware of your internal world

This is all powerful and necessary as you learn to live well with your neurodivergence.

So if you’re not feeling ‘at peace’ maybe that’s ok, as long as it’s bringing you closer to who you really are. And, it could also be true that meditation just isn’t for you!

You are deserving of support that really works for you, and that might include meditation or it might be that breathwork or talk therapy would be more impactful.

I understand first-hand just how challenging it can be to find what truly works for you, so if you’d benefit from working 1-1 with someone who really understands how you’re feeling, send me a message, I’d love to help.

14/04/2026

In January, I was diagnosed with autism and it brought me to a complete halt.

It felt like something changed, I could no longer function as I had been. I knew I needed to step back and give myself space, so I intuitively took 90 days to drop my bundle and focus on taking care of myself.

I’ve practiced transcendental meditation for years, and although full commitment was difficult before, in the past 90 days it’s become a regular, almost sacred routine for me.

It hasn’t felt peaceful or calming in the way people often talk about meditation, it’s taken me much deeper than that.

At points it has felt like my whole system is processing something I haven’t fully been able to put words to yet. Old memories have come up - random moments, people, things I hadn’t thought about in years. There’s been a lot of grief, a lot of confusion and times where I’ve felt like my body was on fire.

I haven’t even really been able to consciously connect with the autism diagnosis; it’s only in the last few days that it’s started to come tentatively into my meditation practice, and that’s been painful in its own way. I’m beginning to understand something called ‘post diagnosis crash.’

I’ll be sharing more about these 90 days over the next couple of weeks in the hope that it might feel relatable to some of you, or help you see that you’re not the only one feeling the way you do.

Please share with me in the comments if something feels helpful, or if you’ve had a similar experience ❤️

01/04/2026

One of the worst things about PMDD is that for a week or so it shows you how life could be.

For that week, you might feel like you’re on cloud nine, feeling capable and more able to cope with the challenges life presents you with, and then it’s like the ground goes out from underneath your feet.

Your mood drops, your thoughts become harsher and things that felt manageable suddenly feel overwhelming or impossible. You might feel hopeless, irritable, exhausted or completely out of control. It can feel like you’ve become a different person.

Then your period comes and the clouds are lifted temporarily.

This is one of the things that makes PMDD so confusing and so painful. You get a glimpse of how life could feel, and then it’s taken away again.

For a long time, I didn’t even recognise that there was a ‘good’ part of the cycle, it all just felt relentless. It was only when I started tracking that I could begin to see the contrast, and separate the times where I felt more like myself from the times that felt completely unbearable.

And this is a cycle that repeats month after month. I remember so clearly how difficult it was to navigate, especially when you end up being passed from pillar to post between doctors and psychiatrists who each seem to think it’s someone else’s responsibility.

PMDD is still widely misunderstood and often misdiagnosed, although research is beginning to recognise just how complex a condition it is.

If you’re suffering with PMDD, you’re not alone and you deserve to be supported by someone who really understands what you’re going through. If you, or someone you know, would like support - send me a message, I’d love to help.

I was a very depressed teenager.I carried a lot of shame, hurt and anger, and I was trying to make sense of feelings I d...
23/03/2026

I was a very depressed teenager.

I carried a lot of shame, hurt and anger, and I was trying to make sense of feelings I didn’t have the words for.

Back in the 80s, this wasn’t something people spoke about and I spent a lot of time masking how I felt and trying to hold everything together.

Over time, through therapy, writing and a lot of self-inquiry, I began to understand more about what was going on. I started to connect the dots between my experiences, my body, PMDD and later, my ADHD.

Breathwork was a turning point for me. It gave me a way to access emotions that were underneath the surface, without needing to explain or analyse them. For the first time, things started to shift in a way that felt real and lasting.

That experience is what led me to offer this work to others.

I am so passionate about breathwork, it’s hard to explain just how much of an impact it’s had on me and on those I have worked with. If you would like to experience it for yourself, send me a message and we can explore it together.

Address

Leigh-on-Sea
Leigh-on-Sea
SS91AD

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