Leanne Astbury

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United Kingdom
Northwich
Leanne Astbury

Helping you understand why you abandon yourself. People Pleasing - Perfectionism - Self-worth wounds. Psychotherapist - Living proof the brain rewires

21/07/2026

Everyone thinks you have it all together.

You're the one who never says no. The one who stays late, smooths things over, holds everyone else up. The one people call "so capable."

But they don't see what it costs you. The exhaustion behind the smile. The resentment you feel guilty for even feeling. That quiet moment at the end of the day when you wonder who you actually are beneath all the pleasing.

So let me tell you something nobody has probably ever said to you.

People pleasing and perfectionism are not who you are. They're survival strategies you learned a long time ago, when they were the safest way to be. And anything that was learned can be understood and changed.

Not by trying harder. You've been trying harder your whole life. By going to the root.

I'm Leanne, a CBT Psychotherapist and author of Awaken Your Worth, and I specialise in exactly this because I've lived it myself.

I work with people one to one to change these patterns at the root, and the first step is a free 30 minute call. We'll talk about what's really going on for you, I'll explain how I work, and together we'll decide whether working with me is the right fit. If it's not, you'll still leave with more clarity than you came with. No pressure either way.

You've spent years showing up for everyone else. This is 30 minutes for you. Link in bio. Or in comment below. If on Facebook.

17/06/2026

You don't struggle to delegate because no one does it right.

You struggle because if it goes wrong, it's still somehow your fault.

But let's go deeper than that. Because the real question isn't about delegating at all.

When something goes wrong, what does your brain make that mean? Usually it's something like "I've failed." Okay. And what does failing mean about you? That you're not good enough. That you'll be found out. That you're not as capable as everyone thinks you are.

There it is.

That's not a rational thought. That's a fear. And our brains treat fear the same way regardless of whether the threat is physical or emotional. It sounds the alarm. It mobilises everything it has to protect you.
So you take control. You do it yourself. You over-prepare, over-check, over-deliver. Not because you're difficult. Because your brain has learned that if things aren't done right, something bad happens. And somewhere underneath that is a belief you've probably carried for a very long time. That when things go wrong, it reflects something about your worth.

Our behaviours are never random. They're always pointing at something. The perfectionism, the inability to hand things over, the exhaustion of holding it all. These aren't character flaws. They're a belief system running in the background, driving everything.

And beliefs that were formed in fear keep you living in fear. Even when the original threat is long gone.
That's what makes it so exhausting. And that's what makes it so hard to just stop.

If this is resonating, start with Root. It's the free CBT tool to help you understand what's driving the pattern, not just what the pattern looks like. Link in comments

Because understanding the belief is where it actually starts.

15/06/2026

You don't feel guilty because you did something wrong. You feel guilty because someone taught you that your needs were wrong.

Read that again.

The guilt feels like a warning. But it's not. It's just a pattern. One you picked up so early you started to mistake it for the truth.

Your needs were never the problem. They just weren't convenient for someone else.

If this is landing for you, Root is in my free CBT based tool I built to help you start unpicking exactly this, the beliefs you absorbed before you even knew you were absorbing them.

You don't have to figure this out alone. Link in comments.

05/06/2026

You are human.
But people pleasing can make you forget that.

It teaches you to suppress your feelings, ignore your needs, overthink your decisions, and carry responsibilities that were never yours to hold.

You become so focused on keeping everyone else happy, comfortable, and emotionally safe…
that you stop treating yourself like a human being with limits, needs, feelings, and worth too.

That is why so many people pleasers feel exhausted, anxious, resentful, lost, and emotionally disconnected from themselves.

Not because they are weak.
Because they have spent years abandoning themselves to avoid losing others.

That is exactly why I created ROOT 🌱

A free CBT-based AI tool designed to help you start uncovering the possible reasons behind your people pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, overthinking, and self-doubt.

Because once you understand why you became this way…
everything starts to make more sense.

Link in comments to try ROOT.

29/05/2026

You become the person everyone relies on because somewhere along the way your brain learned:

“If I am useful, needed, helpful, easy, available… I won’t be rejected.”

So now you say yes when you’re exhausted.
You over-explain when setting boundaries.
You carry things that were never yours to carry.
And even thinking about disappointing someone fills you with guilt.

Not because you’re weak.

Because your nervous system learned that keeping other people happy felt safer than honouring yourself.

That is why “just say no” has never worked for you.

Because this was never about communication.
It was about self-worth.

And the hardest part?

The people who rely on you the most often have no idea how much it is costing you.

If this felt a little too familiar, save it.
You may need this reminder on the days you start abandoning yourself again.

19/05/2026

You have changed things. Changed jobs, changed relationships, changed your habits, changed your environment. And for a while each one felt like it might be the thing that finally made you feel settled.
And then it wasn't.

And you told yourself you were ungrateful. That you should be happier. That something must be wrong with you for still feeling this way after everything you have done to fix it.

Here is what I want you to understand.

Nothing was wrong with your choices. The problem was never the toppings.

When the foundation underneath — your self-worth, the core belief you hold about your own value — is damaged, nothing built on top of it can ever fully hold. Not the relationship. Not the achievement. Not even the version of yourself you have worked so hard to become.

And the people pleasing? The endless managing of everyone around you, the saying yes when you mean no, the exhausting effort to keep everyone happy?

That is not kindness. That is you trying to hold the toppings in place with your bare hands. Because somewhere underneath, it does not feel safe to let go.

This is not a mindset problem. It is not a gratitude problem. It is a foundation problem. And it has a root.
I built something to help you find yours.

Root is a free AI tool — trained on the same CBT framework I use with my private clients. It is a warm, private conversation that helps you begin to understand where your patterns came from and what has been quietly driving them.

No judgement. No pressure. Just the clarity that comes from finally understanding yourself.
If any of this landed — Root is waiting for you. Link in first comment.

14/05/2026

You've been managing it for years. The exhaustion. The guilt. The constant feeling of not being enough.
But here's what nobody has told you, the perfectionism, the people pleasing, the anxiety? They're not separate problems. They have one root. And that root almost always comes back to self worth.
Most approaches teach you to cope with the symptoms. I want to help you understand what's actually driving them.
That's why I built this free AI tool.
It's a real conversation, built on the same CBT framework I use with my private clients, that helps you uncover exactly which areas of your self worth are quietly running the show.
When you can see it clearly and it makes sense, that is the moment everything can start to change.
✨ It's completely free
✨ No waiting list
✨ Instant access
Link is in the first comment,.. go start your conversation today.
Because you can change. I genuinely believe that. And this is the place to start.

06/11/2025

Perfectionism, the high standards, the “fancy clothing” — it’s all a disguise to hide the truth: you are full of self-doubt, and you’re terrified of letting people see it.

Your worst fear? That people might think you’re not doing well in life. Why? Because it would reinforce what you already secretly believe about yourself.

I can’t tell you exactly what that belief is here, because perfectionism hides different fears for different people. But I can tell you this: you wouldn’t be a perfectionist if you didn’t have a negative view of yourself.

Perfectionism is a safety behaviour. It’s your brain’s way of protecting you from something painful. And until that something is addressed, the pressure of being a perfectionist won’t go away.

👉 Whether you’re a perfectionist yourself, or you work with clients stuck in this pattern, check out the CBT Hub (CPD-certified course). Link in bio.

08/03/2025

Are you constantly sacrificing yourself for others? Struggling to say no? Feeling exhausted, stressed, frustrated, or anxious? Never feeling good enough despite trying so hard every single day?

Join my workshop tomorrow, and I’ll explain why this is happening—and how to break free!

DM me for details!

Address

Northwich

Website

https://thecbthub.co.uk/sales-page, http://www.mindyourfuture.co.uk/

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