Captain Tootys Biker Smiles page

Captain Tootys Biker Smiles page Captain Tootys Chat page, every one with a love of 2, 3, or 4 wheels welcome am one of the most "down to earth" admins you will ever meet. I stick to my values.

There is nothing about me (or what I own) that is any better than anyone else. That said, I do strive for excellence in everything I do, as I think everyone should. As admin, I have studied every brand of motorcycles there is, to "qualify" myself to run a biker page. Also owned well over a 100 bikes, and to date 79 trikes, most makes, I've been riding nearly 50 years. I love ALL brands, and think

each one has a specific function for the rider in question. I say this as humble as possible - don't compare brands on this page. You won't like the outcome. Harley and Yamaha are my personal favorites, but I don't promote ANY brand, because I think it's irrelevant. I like Harley because it SCREAMS "Bad Boy", and always will. I like Kawasaki because the brand has never changed hands, and the owner is a stickler for quality - (can you say "Samaria sword?"). But I buy used - I look for bikes & trikes in need of a little TLC. Once a bike/trike has been sold, every bit of money spent on it goes back into the community. Being a disabled Biker/Triker myself I understand what its like to want to keep the lifestyle, the way of life our hearts want, but sometimes can't quite find. after being given early medical retirement from government service, I now dedicate my time to helping others stay sane, in this crazy world. If you need help, advice, a friend, just ask. Trikes for sale, just ask, I always know someone selling, and feel free to advertise on this page.

17/08/2026
17/08/2026

The Marvellous Monday Smile:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(you're gonna love this)
(its a real treat)
(a masterpiece)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are...)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!
Have a lovely day!

16/08/2026

The Sunday Morning Smile :
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand:

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk says. "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing "We forgot the 'R', We forgot the
'R'". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot. "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies. "The word is 'celebrate!'" 😅

15/08/2026

The Silly Saturday Smile :
I saw a chap walking down the road with a sign saying, "& Emergency" tucked under his arm.
"Where did you get that from?" I asked.
He said, "I found it by Accident."

14/08/2026

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Nottinghamshire

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