Wellness With Kajal

Wellness With Kajal I am accredited relationship, breakup and divorce coach. And this is the work I was born to do. That is where 'Kajal's Healthy Kitchen' was born!

Wellness cooking and natural foods have been a part of my life for decades. My mother's personal struggle with health and wellbeing led me to pursue my passion for cooking and make a difference in the world around me. Over the last 28 years, I've learned that we are deeply rooted in mother nature, which provides and heals if we stop and listen to the body.
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Having experienced firsthand the power

of nutrition and a balanced lifestyle in bringing back my mother from stage 4 cancer, I embarked on a journey of becoming a wellness chef and nutritional expert.​

I started by creating my own recipes using ancient healing ingredients, some of which are now known as superfoods, and brought them to a plate as a piece of art. It was my mission to change the idea that healthy eating was boring, bland, and uninspiring! I am a well-being coach and see clients online. I run online wellbeing programs, workshops, supper clubs, and wellbeing retreats. Get in touch with me by PM or by visiting my website www.kajalskitchen.com https://www.kajalskitchen.com/

Before You Blame the Relationship, Understand the Wound.Most couples don’t argue about what they think they’re arguing a...
11/06/2026

Before You Blame the Relationship, Understand the Wound.

Most couples don’t argue about what they think they’re arguing about. They think they’re arguing about the holiday, friends, the mother-in-law, children, late nights, lack of time, the way one person speaks, or the way the other person shuts down. Still, very often, the real conversation is happening underneath the argument.

One person is saying, “Trust me.” The other is saying, “Choose me.” And those are two completely different conversations.
Last month, I sat with a couple who were convinced they knew exactly what was wrong. He felt criticised, and she felt abandoned. He wanted freedom, and she wanted reassurance. He felt controlled, and she felt forgotten. During the session, they brought up memory after memory. Things that happened last week, things that happened last year, and things that happened twenty years ago. That is when something became clear that the marriage had pain, but not all of it belonged to the marriage. Some of it belonged to wounds that had never been fully processed, and this is where many people get stuck. They believe, “If I leave this relationship, the pain will leave too.”

Pain does not disappear because your relationship status changes. Pain does not disappear because you move house. Pain does not disappear because you meet somebody new.
Unhealed pain travels. It shows up in the next relationship, the next marriage, the next friendship, and even in the way we parent our children. This does not mean every marriage should be saved. It does not mean people should stay where they are unsafe, unseen, or consistently harmed, but it does mean that before you decide the relationship is broken, ask yourself whether the pain belongs to the relationship, or whether the relationship has simply exposed a wound that was already there.

Until we understand the wound, we will keep blaming the symptom, and until we work on ourselves, we cannot fully understand what is happening in our relationships.

Wellness With Kajal
, & Divorce Coach.

My cat and I were having a conversation today. Well, I was having a conversation and he was listening, or at least appea...
02/06/2026

My cat and I were having a conversation today. Well, I was having a conversation and he was listening, or at least appearing to listen.

It made me think about a couple I was speaking to recently.

The husband was frustrated because he was convinced he had told his wife something important. The wife was equally frustrated because she was convinced he had never mentioned it. Neither of them was lying, and neither of them was trying to make the other feel unheard. They were both absolutely certain they were right.

It reminded me that communication is not simply about speaking, it is about being heard, understood and remembered.

So many relationship arguments start with “I told you” and “No, you didn’t.”

The truth is that sometimes we say things when the other person is distracted, overwhelmed, tired or carrying something heavy in their mind. Sometimes we think we have communicated because the words left our mouth, but they never really arrived where they needed to.

As I sat there talking to my cat, I realised he might actually be one of the best listeners I know! He never interrupts, never defends himself and never tries to prove a point. He simply sits there and lets me finish.

Of course, he may have been thinking about his next meal the entire time, but that is not the point, the point is that in relationships we often spend so much time trying to prove what was said that we forget to check whether it was truly received.

Communication is not about winning an argument, it is about creating understanding, and sometimes that starts with listening a little more carefully than we speak.

In every conversation, ask yourself, was I listening to respond, or listening to understand?

What is one thing you’ve learned about listening that has improved your relationships? Wellness With Kajal



In the heart of London, something beautiful happened. Some of the most valuable opportunities in life don’t begin in boa...
30/05/2026

In the heart of London, something beautiful happened.

Some of the most valuable opportunities in life don’t begin in boardrooms, they begin around a table.

A few women, a shared space, honest conversations. Stories, laughter, ideas, passions, experiences proudly shared.

In a world that keeps us connected digitally, real human connection has become a rare kind of wealth.

The most successful network builders in the world speak about relationships before results, and how important they are! Trust before transactions, giving before gaining.

Every woman in the room made the effort to show up, and that matters. Because community isn’t built online alone, it’s built when people gather, share, listen, and support one another.

Who is someone you’ve met over coffee, dinner, or at an event that unexpectedly changed your perspective or opened a new door in your life? I’d love to hear your story below. fans

They came to me to make their divorce peaceful.A couple together for 24 years had already decided they wanted it done ri...
28/05/2026

They came to me to make their divorce peaceful.

A couple together for 24 years had already decided they wanted it done right, amicably, respectfully, without hurting each other any further.

They wanted my help to navigate a peaceful divorce, to find a way to move forward without more pain, anger or damage to each other.

As I sat with them, something stopped me, there was still something there. A connection. Quiet and buried beneath years of hurt, exhaustion and silence. After ninety minutes together, it became clear that divorce was not actually the answer.

What they were really crying out for was transformation.

Years of no intimacy, no real communication. Two people living in the same house, carrying the same pain, silently asking each other every day-Please see me. Please hear me. Please just be with me.

So many people stay in relationships feeling emotionally drained and alone. It’s where duty, children, family expectations and keeping the peace often become more important than emotional connection. Exhaustion turns into burnout. The inner voice keeps saying I’m done with this, and slowly you start checking out.

This is the work I do.

Not telling people what to decide but helping them see what is actually happening beneath the pain. Beneath the exhaustion. Beneath the conclusion they thought was final. Beneath the words “I’m done.”

“Behind many broken relationships is not a lack of love, but years of feeling unseen.”

If this resonated with you, or someone you love, I would love to connect Wellness With Kajal

Today’s reminder hits different when you understand energy as a body.In my Five Body Method, your Energy Body is the bri...
07/05/2026

Today’s reminder hits different when you understand energy as a body.

In my Five Body Method, your Energy Body is the bridge, which connects your mind, emotions, physical self, and spirit.

When you scatter it on things with no future, every other part of you feels the drain.

This is why I teach my clients to treat their energy like a sacred resource because where it flows, healing follows Wellness With Kajal

Did you ever really leave home?Not the house, the emotional home.I’m a relationship breakup and divorce coach, and I see...
07/05/2026

Did you ever really leave home?

Not the house, the emotional home.

I’m a relationship breakup and divorce coach, and I see a pattern more often than people expect. I hear this often in my practice:

“I love my partner, but I still feel responsible for my parents’ emotions, their expectations, their needs, and somewhere in between, I’ve lost the space to fully show up in my own marriage.”

There was no lack of love between the couple, no betrayal, no big rupture, just something quieter. One person hadn’t fully left.

Philosophers like Khalil Gibran have long reminded us that our parents give us love, but not ownership. Yet in reality, emotional detachment is far more complex than physical distance.

Research in family psychology often points to this as emotional enmeshment, where boundaries blur, and guilt, obligation, or loyalty conflicts quietly shape decisions in adult relationships, and over time, it creates tension. This happens not because someone doesn’t care, but because they’re still divided between where they came from and what they’re trying to build.

Healthy relationships don’t require abandoning your parents, but they do require redefining roles, boundaries, and emotional priorities. So here’s a question worth sitting with! Are you in a relationship where love exists, but part of you still feels pulled back, responsible, or unable to choose your partner without guilt?

Awareness is where change begins!

I’m Kajal Kaj, and I help people navigate these emotional transitions, so they can build relationships that feel whole, not divided

MyRecovery - MindfullyPauli is looking for a man. Over 50. In poor shape. Groans whenever he sits down, or gets up from ...
28/04/2026

MyRecovery - MindfullyPauli is looking for a man.

Over 50.

In poor shape.

Groans whenever he sits down, or gets up from a chair.

Can’t touch his toes.

Prone to getting stressed out.

Not sleeping well.

Overweight, no issue.

Low energy or mood, is fine.

He wants to feel better, get stronger and needs to get his ass into gear before it’s too late.

He needs to be free tonight to meet me and a few other men after work. And Live within range of HAC in Hatch End.

He must be curious about taking up yoga for men on a regular basis.

YOU?

Are probably his long suffering wife or partner who would welcome kicking him out of the house for an hour or more 🤣

One night only for a taster.

First come. First served.

Share widely.

Let the transformation begin.

Yoga4Men. fans Paul Price

A lawyer walked into my space a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, I feel like a hippo.Not because of...
21/04/2026

A lawyer walked into my space a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, I feel like a hippo.

Not because of how she looked. She was strong, well put together, the kind of woman you see in a room and immediately understand that she is someone, a career built on being the person who always has the answer, a good partner at home, financial security, everything that from the outside looks like a life that is working, but inside she was exhausted in a way she couldn’t explain.

Her lower back had been hurting for years, not from an injury, not from anything a doctor could find and fix, just a constant heaviness she had stopped questioning. She couldn’t sleep properly, her digestion was off, and even though she had been doing yoga faithfully for eight years she could never do a headstand. She had quietly decided that was just how her body was.

When she told me all of this I wasn’t thinking about her back or her sleep or her headstand. I was thinking, what has she been carrying, and where has she been putting it.

When you spend years leading entirely from the mind, and as a lawyer that is not just a habit but a requirement, everything else gets pushed aside. The feelings you didn’t have time for, the exhaustion you performed your way through, the things you swallowed because there was a client to serve or a case to win or a home to hold together. They don’t disappear, they settle, and one of the places they settle most deeply is the lower back, which carries the weight of everything we have been responsible for without rest.

She had been carrying it for years and calling it a bad back!

Over our sessions we worked through the five bodies, giving the mind permission to offload what it had been holding alone, moving into what was underneath the performance and the word fine, reconnecting with the gut and the instinct that logic-led living had completely overridden.

Session by session something began to shift, the heaviness lifted and her whole body began to feel like it belonged to her again, and then after four sessions she went to yoga and she did a headstand for the first time in eight years.

“I don’t know what you did,” she messaged me that day, “but something has moved and I feel light.”

She still has one foot on the wall, but she is up, she is in the rise!

Does your lower back hurt in a way that has become background noise? Are you the person everyone looks for answers, at work, at home, in every room you walk into, tired in a way that a holiday hasn’t touched, that sleep hasn’t fixed, that the next achievement hasn’t reached?

If something in you just quietly said yes, that is not your body failing you, it is your body trying to tell you something it has been trying to tell you for a long time. You are not broken, you are overburdened, and there is a difference.

What has your body been quietly saying that you’ve been calling something else? Kajal Kaj

The Woman Who Grieved TwiceShe came quietly. The way most people do when they are carrying more than they can name.She h...
09/04/2026

The Woman Who Grieved Twice

She came quietly. The way most people do when they are carrying more than they can name.

She had lost her husband six months before she found her way to me. Two children at home, one eight, one ten, and a life that had shifted beneath her feet like sand. As we began to talk, I realised that grief was not the only thing she was carrying.

In the weeks after his passing, the truth had begun to surface. Slowly at first, then all at once, like a tide that could no longer be held back. Betrayals she hadn’t seen coming. A will that left her breathless. A man she thought she knew, revealing himself, too late, to be someone she had never truly known at all.

She had been grieving a person. Now she was also grieving an illusion.

How do you mourn someone who wasn’t who you thought they were?

She found her way to me not through logic, but through something quieter. A pull, an instinct. That part of us that knows, even before the mind catches up, where we need to be.

We began to work together gently, without rush. Not just with words, but with the whole of her. The grief lodged in her chest. The anger she hadn’t yet given herself permission to feel. The confusion that lived in her body long after her mind had tried to make sense of things. The energy that had become tangled around years of giving herself to someone who had taken, quietly, without her ever knowing.

Slowly, something began to shift.
She started to see that the betrayal, as devastating as it was, had also cracked her open. In that opening there was light. There was her! A version of herself she hadn’t met in a very long time.

Not all of her questions got answered. Some questions never will. But by taking the time to work on herself, she stopped needing those questions to be. She started learning to read herself, instead of reading into the untold truth.

What she found instead was something steadier. A ground beneath her feet that belonged only to her. A knowing that she had been through something real and had survived it. That her children had a mother who was learning, slowly and bravely, to come home to herself.
When she first reached out to me, she called it “clearing the crap.” I smiled when I read that. Because that’s exactly what it was. And what grew in its place, quietly, surely, beautifully, was something no one could ever take from her again. Herself!

If something in this story resonates with you, I would love to hear from you. This is the work I do, gently, holistically, and with the whole of you in mind.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Rumi

Kajal Kaj

She Had No Idea He Was Coming With Her.She’s left, and no longer lives with him, but she still can’t file for divorce. T...
08/04/2026

She Had No Idea He Was Coming With Her.

She’s left, and no longer lives with him, but she still can’t file for divorce. This is a story of one of many of my clients.

To the outside world, this looks like weakness, but to me, it made complete sense.

What many people don’t understand about coercive control and trauma bonding is this, leaving the house is not the same as breaking free.

A trauma bond is not just emotional, It is neurobiological, and It’s a survival response.

The nervous system becomes conditioned to seek safety from the very same person causing the harm.
So even when she’s physically gone, her body is still in survival mode, still watching, still waiting, still bracing for the next threat.

Then comes the cycle that keeps her hooked, intermittent reinforcement.
Moments of warmth, followed by punishment. It’s like a slot machine, those occasional “good” moments become the justification for everything else, and distance doesn’t always mean freedom.

A narcissistic partner can continue to exert control through fear, guilt, financial pressure, and the deep psychological imprint built over years. So this inability to move forward, to take the next legal step, is not a choice, and it is certainly not weakness. It is a natural, conditioned response to prolonged abuse.

This is why willpower alone is never enough.True freedom requires healing on every level, mental, emotional, physical, energetic, and spiritual.

Ttrauma doesn’t just live in the mind, it lives in the body, in the nervous system, in the energy field, in the spirit.

If you know someone who seems “stuck” even after leaving, please don’t tell them to “just move on.”

Hold space for them, encourage the right support. Trust that healing is possible, and if this resonates with you, or someone you love, you don’t have to navigate this alone. This is exactly the work I do. Kajal Kaj

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