Wave Counselling

14/06/2026

The major reason relationships fall apart is that people can "outgrow" their partners when one person is actively growing and changing while the other is not - this had been attributed to Jon Kim in his wonderfully titled 'The Angry Therapist'.

Relationships are dynamic, they have to be to survive. The place we were when we met is going to be a very different one to the place we end up. Relationships don't play out in a vacuum. Life events happen... ageing, illness, children, career changes, infidelities even. But relationships can survive these things if partners are able to shift and flex.

With life and experience we grow. As time passes priorities shift. Goals that were once secondary become vital for living.

Inevitably couples are going to move in different directions and at different paces.

The mistake that partners can make is thinking they are now with the wrong person. It's not perhaps the person that's wrong but the way you have developed as a couple that's become misaligned over time.

Couples counselling can help bridge that divide by examining the space between you and giving you the skills to navigate and provide ways to reconnect.

Often couples come to counselling as a last ditch attempt and it is not uncommon for one partner to be more up for it than the other.

This is a pity.

What if counselling is viewed as an essential ingredient in managing growth in relationships and that all couples believe in from the outset?

If your relationship could benefit from some realignment, please reach out for more information.

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like, share or follow if you enjoyed this post 😊

06/06/2026

There's a commonly held consensus in the world that it's better to have choice. This feels progressive. You might even argue, the more choice the better!

Who wants to live a life free from choice? Surely options suggests liberties, freedom.

For some individuals however, choice can mean that a decision needs to be made. And for individuals with neuro divergence, making decisions can be a very painful process. It can feel debilitating and mentally paralysing. We're not just talking about life decisions here, like changing jobs, moving home or relationship choices but simpler things too.

An example. Many people feel the urge to be more ethical and make better buying decisions. Society places a lot of pressure for people to do the right thing but where does one persons obligations end? Should we research where an item is made and consider the working conditions of those making the product or providing the service before buying a brand of peanut butter. Do we consider the product contents and it's recyclability? Do we consider the impact of our decision in our own back yard, the local community or on a geographical basis?

The executive management (decision making) function in neuro-typicals is a discreet and efficient machine, silently processing thousands of pieces of information to reach a conclusion which makes personal sense. For ND individuals it's a room of a thousand parts waiting to be ordered and assembled. A painful process where a satisfactory and permanent outcome can remain out of reach.

Finding a counsellor who truly understands neurodivergence can make the difference between surviving and thriving in the modern day world and can help find clarity in a sea of options.

*An original post by Wave Counselling. If this article resonated please like, comment and share.

31/05/2026

31/05/2026

"We're all a bit neuro-divergent aren't we!"

Parents often discover they themselves are neuro-divergent by learning about characteristics or ND traits following a child's diagnosis.

Other times, ND individuals will see ageing parents in a new light when it starts to become clearer where their own behaviours have come from - whether by nature or nurture.

There's an idea that ND individuals attract! Almost as though we can spot like minded souls who exist 'outside the matrix'.

ADHD men sometimes partner up with an Autistic partner as they feel safe with the organisational and planning instincts that that partner might bring.

Diagnosis is an individual affair. One patient meets up with one psychologist. However the repercussions will undoubtedly ripple across families following a positive diagnosis outcome.

You'll often witness family members or friends say "well we're all a bit ADHD aren't we!". To which perhaps the reaction should be "yes WE probably are but, no, not everyone is".

Understanding the nuances of ND life and how it affects us as individuals is so important. It is important to find someone who has lived experienced of this. Reach out to me at Wave Counselling if you or a loved one needs an understanding ear and support.

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like or follow if this resonated it means the world.

As it's a beautiful day outside, here's a beautiful picture.

03/05/2026

Nobody talks about the unsung heroes of ADHD and Autism....

I'm not talking about the health professionals - psychologists diagnosing, GP's screening and referring. I'm not talking about the counsellors helping to pick apart and piece back together those fragmented, complex lives. These professionals have an important part to play of course! But... these professional roles are well documented and understood.

What about those individuals standing up day in and day out, a backbone of support. Listening, reassuring, building up, not judging, unwavering, always there. A constant, consistent, caring force. Scanning for the signs and subtle triggers, red flags that might signal the beginnings of a downward trajectory into all too familiar territory. Despair.

Of course, I'm talking here about the wives, husbands, partners, siblings, mums, dad's, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, keeping it all together. Holding their loved ones back from the brink.

Here's to these unsung heroes. The real heroes. Unpaid professionals in their own right. Taking the emotional blows day in day out.

No referrals, no pay. Just consistent, unwavering care and support 👊🤘💯

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like, comment or share if this post resonated for you - it means a lot x

25/04/2026

Seemingly everyone has ADHD these days don't they!? Constant doom scrolling their smart phones or planning their next Amazon purchase to get the next dopamine fix. Yeah we're all like that aren't we!

Or get this, feeling like they're a teenager still when they're in their sixties wondering how everyone else managed to get their s**t together when they're still wondering what they should do with their life. Oh...

Or... when asked a question about what they'd like for lunch going into complete mental breakdown and overthinking what they'd eaten yesterday and the day before and whether they even feel hungry... I'll just have toast.....

Okay... Or when eating in a restaurant going into a blind panic as the waiting staff are waiting to take orders and it's coming around to your turn and you cant decide between pizza or burger like it's some sort of existential conundrum.

Oooo...kay, maybe...not...so...much...that...but...

Yeah maybe not...

Neurodiverse conditions are many and unique to the individual and granted show up in many different ways. It's important to be able to express your feelings too but sometimes a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous and it's important to not be reductionist in any generalised sweeping statements we can make.

The scenarios described above sound like first world problems I admit but the point here is to demonstrate how minor situations can feel debilitating to ADHD folk in everyday life.

The extreme of ADHD is not being able to sleep because their brain won't shut off ruminating over a comment their boss made 6 months ago. Self hatred and suicidal ideation because they feel disconnected from everything that society tells them should give them value so they feel like a useless human being, a failure.

Individuals turn to drugs, alcohol, s*x addictions to get their fix...to feel good for a second about themselves..

Yep, we don't all have that. Thankfully we don't all have that. ..

*An original post from Wave Counselling. Please give the thumbs up if you liked this post it means a lot.

12/04/2026

It's been quite some time since I posted anything and I'm sat here trying to work out the reason why.

I think it was my grandmother who used to say - if you haven't got anything good to say then don't say it - and this sentiment has always stuck with me. So is this the reason...?

If you are not already dead then you will have noticed there's a glut of individuals posting excellent content on any conceivable subject on multiple platforms, so it can be easy sometimes to feel a level of insignificant when posting in a mire of output.

A friend of mine told me once to keep being unique by which I believe she meant, keep being yourself. Me being me I misinterpreted this as don't try and copy everyone else's content! So here's it is, keeping it real with the simple written word on a piece of 'virtual' paper.

I'm chuckling to myself because this post could potentially be seen as saying nothing of any true value. But, equally, there's something in here about tapping into authenticity and being true to yourself. The devils in the detail so they say and it's important to be able to express yourself, in all that you do, in a way that feels genuine and true.

Authenticity often rears its head in my work with clients. It's especially common in ADHD where individuals have spent a lifetime trying to be accepted and fit in and they have disconnected with or devalued the core of what makes them, them.

Reconnecting and valuing what makes you unique is invaluable work.

So here I am reconnecting with a part of myself in some small way and it feels wholesome and true.

If you enjoyed this post please give it a like. If you think it's a pointless post in a mire of all the rest then please say so. If that's your authentic then go for it!

*This is an authentic and original post from Wave Counselling

01/02/2026

Do you ever get triggered by a person, an event or even just a random thought!?

It could be the slightest relatable thing that happens or maybe even the feeling comes first and then you find the negative thoughts to justify that feeling...

These negative thoughts and feelings spiral and within a split second your chest feels heavy and the feelings of dread and fear and vulnerability wash over you. Your breathing feels restricted and you have an overwhelming urge to run away and to escape whatever it is that triggered you

But the crazy thing is it's not the trigger you need to escape from. It's the feelings you need to escape from that are screwing up your insides. When you rationalise the trigger you often realise the fear is irrational, it's not real. The issue therefore is not escaping the trigger but understanding the catastrophic reaction to it and the source of the associated anxiety. Often this stems from personal insecurity and a lack of self belief.

Talking therapy can help you get to the route of your anxieties before you quit your job, leave your relationship or journey to the southern hemisphere to try to escape, ultimately, yourself.

If you do want to escape quickly though, I wouldn't recommend a barge...

*An original post by Wave Counselling. Please like, comment or share of you enjoyed this.

18/01/2026

I want to share this inspiring photo taken in Coalport yesterday along the River Severn.

It's beautiful for many reasons. The river banks look serene and picturesque contrasting against the river itself that looks wild and vital. There's a sense of this picture postcard scene having existed for hundreds of years. Man and nature gloriously intertwined.

When I see flowing water whether it's a turbulent seascape or a flowing river it reminds me of the passing of time, continuity, and the inevitable forward progression of all things. This photo is both rooted in a bygone era, with the ancient bridge and timeless dwellings, and rooted in the future with the march of the burbling river.

For me it represents our lives, rooted in history yet forever pushing forwards unabated.

What a wonderful and precious thing life is. What a glorious thing it is to be able to sit and stare and contemplate and marvel at the beauty all around.

01/01/2026

They say the devil is in the detail but I would contest that and say that "life" is in the detail...

As we enter the new year I notice many people are rejecting the concept of new year's resolutions. "What's the point as I never keep them" I heard Paul Whitehouse say...or words to that effect...

A friend of mine posed this question which I thought reflected, better, changing attitudes...

What would you like to leave behind in 2025?

This is a more powerful statement as it moves us from a position of what we think we "should" do - and anyone who has experienced the benefits of counselling will understand that this should statement is not always our own words - to a position of empowerment. What would I believe would enhance my life.

We can get focused on work and chores, commitments and goals but life is in the cracks in between these things:

A chance encounter, a strangers smile, a shared understanding, a beam of sunlight on your work station...

Try to let the light in this new year and leave the darkness behind.

*An original post by Wave Counselling.