Between Us Therapy

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Between Us Therapy

Relationship-focused therapy for those navigating emotional complexity of connection, change & loss.

Including grief, parenting, post-separation identity, new relationships & the patterns that shape how we relate to partners, children, family & ourselves

21/04/2026

Working harder is the most expensive coping mechanism in business.

And most founders and leaders I work with don’t even know they’re using it.

More hours, more output, more pushing through. It’s the pattern that got them here, so of course it’s the pattern they reach for when the business starts demanding something they can’t quite name.

The question I want to ask, and it’s not a comfortable one, is whether you’re working harder because the business actually needs it right now, or because working harder is the thing you’ve always fallen back on when something feels out of control.

One is a response to what’s in front of you. The other is a reflex you’ve been running since long before this business existed.

When we can slow down enough to tell which is which, something shifts. Not because the work goes away, but because you stop being dragged by it. You start choosing it.

I often ask founders to imagine the business sitting opposite them in the chair. Like a partner in a relationship. What would it say right now? What would you say back, honestly, without any polish?

Most of the answers I hear aren’t about strategy.

They’re about something that’s been unsaid for a long time.

That’s usually where the real work starts.

15/04/2026

This photo is what it looks like when two people sit down to build a Conscious Leadership session… and accidentally uncover half the reason leaders are exhausting themselves.

Tasha Thor-Straten and I have been working on something we’re really excited about:

A session exploring the patterns of behaviour that don’t begin in the boardroom.

They usually begin much earlier.
Set in childhood.
Reinforced in adolescence.
Then dressed up in adulthood as “leadership style.”

Over-functioning.
People-pleasing.
Avoiding conflict.
Needing to be right.
Staying hyper-independent.
Controlling everything and calling it “high standards.”

The problem is, unconscious choices can look very respectable from the outside.

Until they start costing you your relationships, your team, your clarity… and your nervous system.

That’s what this work is about:
Helping leaders notice the pattern before the pattern starts leading them.

Also, based on this photo, it may be about two grown adults sharing one computer like I.T. hasn’t yet reached our virtual office.

When two skill sets collide, something beautiful starts to form:

A challenge to the way leaders lead, and the hidden patterns driving it.

24/03/2026

What’s your business kink?

No, not that kind. (But perhaps it is!)

I mean the thing you secretly want to do in your business but won’t, because it feels like you’re not allowed.

The offer you’d love to build but it’s “not your lane.”
The audience you’d love to serve but they’re “not your people.”
The way you’d love to show up but it’s “not professional.”

Everyone’s got one.

And they don’t do it. Not because it’s a bad idea. But because somewhere along the way, your business became the authority on what’s acceptable.

I have been noticing this pattern a lot recently...

The business starts as something you build. Then slowly, quietly, it becomes something you obey.

It sets the rules. You follow them. And the thing you actually want? Gets filed under “maybe one day.”

That’s not a strategy. That’s a relationship pattern that you are a slave to.

And like most relationship patterns, it runs on one thing: the belief that what you want isn’t allowed.

Good relationships work differently....Kink? Well that doesn’t start with action. It starts with conversation. Safe, open, honest conversation.
It asks for permission.
It works in partnership.
And before anything changes, someone has to say out loud the thing they’ve been too afraid to name.

Not because of what anyone else might think. But because of what they might think of themselves.

So try it. Have a conversation with your business today. Not about targets or strategy. About desire. About the thing you’ve been quietly wanting but haven’t let yourself say.

You might find your business has been waiting for you to ask.

So, what’s yours?

20/03/2026

I’ve sat across from founders who’ve spent thousands on business coaches, marketing strategists, accountability programmes.

Smart people. Good investments. Real results, sometimes.

But when I ask what actually changed, there’s usually a pause.

Because the revenue might have moved. The strategy might have sharpened. But the feeling underneath? The one that wakes you up at 3am. The one that makes you check your phone before your feet hit the floor. The one that says

“if I stop holding this together, it all falls apart.”

That doesn’t shift with a better funnel.

Most founders I work with don’t have a knowledge gap. They know exactly what they need to do. The problem is something else entirely.

It’s the relationship between them and their business.

The way they’ve built everything around their own capacity. The way the business has learned to need them for everything. The way neither of them knows how to exist without the other running on empty.

That’s not strategy. That’s a dynamic. And dynamics don’t change in a workshop.

So I do something that sounds unusual. I put the founder and the business in two chairs, and I treat it like couples therapy. Not metaphorically. Literally. We have the conversation that’s never been had.

And that’s where things start to shift.

If you’ve done the strategy work and you’re still hitting the same wall, this might be the conversation you’re missing.

DM me. Or follow along here, I post about this stuff regularly.

03/03/2026

These aren’t original thoughts.

Most of them have been said before, by therapists, by systems thinkers, by founders who figured it out the hard way.

But they’re things I keep coming back to. Things I’ve watched land in sessions, again and again, with people who’d heard all the usual advice and still felt stuck.

Most founders don’t have someone who’ll say this stuff to them.
Not a coach running a playbook.
Not a friend who’s too close.
Not a partner who’s living inside it with them.

Someone who just sees clearly and isn’t afraid to say the uncomfortable thing out loud.

That’s the gap.

Which ones hit? I’m curious.

18/02/2026

Something happened this week that I’m still thinking about.

A new client found me, not through Google, not through a referral, not through scrolling.

He asked ChatGPT who he should work with. It said my name. He booked the same day.

I don’t share this to be impressive. I share it because I think it points to something important that most of us haven’t caught up with yet.
The way people find support is changing. And the rules of being findable are changing with it.

Swipe through, and if something similar has happened to you, I really want to hear about it in the comments.   We need to understand the sifting search in order to be found.

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