17/06/2026
✨️Grief, Love, and Learning a New Reality✨️
Whether loss comes suddenly or we’ve been preparing for it for months or years through illness, old age, or decline, grief has a way of shaking the foundations of our world.
As a therapist, I can sit beside someone in their pain. I can hold space, listen, and support. But one thing I know for certain is that grief is deeply personal.
No two people experience it in exactly the same way.
We often hear about the stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
They can be helpful in understanding some of what we may experience, but grief is rarely a neat, linear process.
We don't move through the stages one by one and arrive at a finish line.
We move back and forth.
We revisit emotions.
Some stages may never appear, while others return again and again.
Grief is not something to "get over."
It is something we learn to carry.
Sometimes the things that hurt the most are the ordinary things.
The daily walk.
The favourite café.
The TV show you always watched together.
The routine phone call.
The quiet moments at the end of the day.
Many people avoid these things because the pain feels unbearable.
And that's understandable.
But there can also be something incredibly powerful in slowly creating a new reality.
Returning to the places you loved together. Continuing traditions.
Doing the things that brought you joy, not because you've moved on, but because you're carrying their memory with you.
Almost as an act of honour.
A way of saying:
"You were here. You mattered. You changed my life."
One of the teachings within Buddhism is that suffering is part of being human, but so is compassion.
We cannot always avoid pain, but we can learn to meet it with gentleness.
The Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh wrote:
"No mud, no lotus."
In other words, our deepest pain and our deepest love are often intertwined.
The grief we feel reflects the depth of the connection we had.
So if you're grieving..
Cry, and don't be sorry for crying.
Break down, and don't be sorry for breaking down.
Laugh, and don't be sorry for laughing.
Remember, and don't be sorry for remembering.
Feel joy again, and don't be sorry for healing.
Every emotion has its place.
One moment you may feel devastated.
The next, you may find yourself smiling at a memory.
Then the tears come back again.
That isn't doing grief "wrong."
That is grief.
One thing I often see is people trying to numb the pain because it hurts so much.
We distract, avoid, stay busy, shut down, or convince ourselves we're fine.
But healing often asks something different of us.
It asks us to feel.
To talk.
To cry.
To laugh.
To tell the same stories over and over again.
To cry while telling them.
And then one day, to laugh while telling them.
Talking about our loved ones helps our hearts and our brains begin to understand a reality we never wanted.
It helps us integrate the loss into our lives rather than carry it alone in silence.
So please reach out.
Sit with people.
Answer the phone.
Send the message.
Accept the invitation.
Let others witness your grief.
We are not meant to carry loss alone.
And perhaps the greatest act of love is this..
To keep our hearts open even after they have been broken.
To continue living.
To continue loving.
To continue honouring those we miss by carrying forward the gifts they brought into our lives.
Because love does not end when a life ends.
It simply changes form.
🤍
If you're grieving right now, be gentle with yourself. There is no timeline.
No right way.
No perfect way.
Only your way.
And that is enough.
❤️
