The online parental guidance group

The online parental guidance group Please follow us for new Podcasts.

I am an accredited and registered child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
www.thechildrensconsultancy.com for more information
I deliver highly informed online courses for parents, and treat Children & Young people.

09/08/2026

I am absolutely delighted to announce that my book “the life that belongs to you” (the three Rs) is now available for download and is priced at £7.99.
Please visit the childrensconsultancy.com, Scroll down to the resources page where you will find the book details, and the pay button. This will take you to the checkout and then to the “thank you and ‘download your book’ section.

I sincerely hope that this serves the readership. You will also see the forthcoming course section, and the 3RS online course for women and mothers. I will be placing more information and booking details shortly, and the course will commence in mid-september 2026.

08/08/2026

Tomorrow is the launch day for the first of my four books. It is written and offered to those who are recovering from or wanting to recover from abusive and emotionally manipulative relationships. It is entitled “the life that belongs to you” (The three Rs. Recognition, Reckoning and recovery)
Although I use the term “emotionally manipulative relationships, this encompasses not just intimate relationships with another adult, but relationships with colleagues’ friends and family members. It is not instructional, it is informative, clinically underpinned, and offered as a structured guide to enable readers to create a sustainable way to manage you and all of your relationships.
This is a considered distillation of decades of experience, and a lasting commitment to helping parents and their children, and anyone else who may benefit.

It will be available from my website tomorrow and is offered as an easily downloadable ebook.

I truly hope that it serves its intended purpose.
Purchase details will be available tomorrow. Thank you.

07/08/2026

I am increasingly sickened by the numbers of people claiming ‘parental alienation’ and how some of those in the legal profession, are encouraging not only the use of the term, but as a legal argument.
In my experience of working with families where there are significant contact difficulties, they exist in a context where the acrimony between the parents, and the emotional safeguarding harm and risks are very real.
How easy it is to say that the child is being weaponized when in fact it could be that the child is being protected. Yes, there are cases when indeed the child is being used as a vehicle, my experience however is that this is very rare.
The parent who objects to contact very often has good reason, and quite often the rest of the “they won't let me see my child” statement, omits the fact that the person making it has failed on multiple counts to do what it is that is required. All the while, it is the child who inevitably experiences the true cost and harm.

07/08/2026

This simple ‘recognition test’ is something which the three Rs begins with. It is not intended to be a ‘this is what you owe me’ list. It is a way of helping you identify where the imbalance was evident. When you are trying to survive a relationship of this kind, your capacity to see things for how they really are is understandably compromised. Only when you “walk away from the other” can you begin to see things for how they truly were.
This can be understandably painful, because the realisation that you have been used also brings shame and humiliation. But remember this, you could not see it for very good reasons, distance allows you to see things from where you are now.
It is this distance which can help you shape your present and your future.
The three Rs programme can help you to accomplish this, and my podcasts on this subject introduce you to how this becomes possible.

The online course for women and mothers in September (dates and details to be announced) translates the learning into action.

Although many seek validation from those who have damaged them, this is a sadly futile wish. People who behave in this way do not have the integrity to take responsibility for their actions, if they did, it would never have happened in the first place. And it is for this reason that the three Rs help you to accomplish self-validation.

06/08/2026

https://www.buzzsprout.com/952159/episodes/19610200-the-reckoning.mp3?download=true
The most dangerous part of a coercive, abusive, or manipulative relationship isn’t always the obvious cruelty. It’s the slow rewrite of your reality, where hope keeps you working harder, doubting yourself more, and calling it love. We unpack the moment that finally breaks that spell: the reckoning, when the life you thought you were building collides with the life you’re actually living.

We walk through why recognition can feel more painful at first, because uncertainty used to protect you. When that uncertainty disappears, you’re left grieving what you didn’t just lose, but what you believed could still be saved: the future, the family, the version of the person you kept waiting to return. We also talk about the emotions that hit next, especially guilt and anger. Why do survivors feel guilty for leaving, for setting boundaries, for protecting their kids, or for admitting they deserve better? Why does anger so often turn inward with “Why didn’t I see it?” We challenge that trap and make room for self-compassion rooted in one hard truth: you made choices with the knowledge and capacity you had then.

We also name a quieter injury of coercive control: losing trust in your own judgment. Rebuilding that trust takes time, and grief comes in waves, not straight lines. When children are involved, the reckoning gets even more complex, because staying may preserve the appearance of a family while eroding emotional safety. We end with a question that marks the beginning of recovery: what do I need? If this resonates, subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the line that stayed with you.

05/08/2026

https://www.buzzsprout.com/952159/episodes/19604679-the-first-stage-recognition.mp3?download=true
This is a longer audio. Listen to it in stages if that helps.

You can’t heal what you’re still calling “normal.” Recognition is the moment the fog lifts after an abusive relationship and you finally see the pattern for what it is, not what you hoped it would become. I’m Kim Lee, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, and I’m starting this final stretch of the series on recovery by slowing down and naming that first stage clearly, because it is often the hardest to tolerate and the most important to get right.

We talk about how abuse distorts relational reality from the inside, how manipulation can feel like contamination, and why people on the outside can see what victims cannot. I break down common dynamics like love bombing, grandiose claims, chronic criticism, and the constant reframing of events that makes you question your own mind. We also get into one of the most deceptive tactics: the abuser who presents as the victim of past partners, using that story to secure your empathy while continuing to persecute you in private.

From there, we move into what recognition actually feels like: painful clarity, grief, shame, anger, and the slow return of your own identity. I explain why recovery is not linear, why “forgive and forget” often becomes another way to silence yourself, and why self-reconciliation and self-validation are more realistic goals. If you are trying to cut the line, stay away, and stop taking the blame for someone else’s behavior, this is a grounded place to start.

If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the path from recognition to recovery.

05/08/2026

The realisation that you have endured what you now understand to be an abusive relationship, where you were manipulated repeatedly ‘taken from’ leaving you having to “psychologically organise yourself” around “the other” (a term I use as a polite alternative to the many less favourable ones) Can cause you to question your own sanity and integrity. But then, as you look back with clearer vision any sense of shame transforms into something very powerful. This realisation compares with what happens when we lose someone who really mattered to us, and who we never truly appreciated and reciprocated with. You never know what you really have with someone until you lose them. Conversely, in abusive relationships the realisation of how badly you have been treated and your determined distance from it, brings self-vindication. Many survivors are desperate to receive recognition from the people who have treated them so badly, this is an understandable but entirely futile wish. The “other” will never take responsibility for their actions, they will never acknowledge the emotional betrayal, the lies the deception, the manipulation, and the truth. If they had such principles, they would never have treated you so badly in the first place.
They will tell others that you are the villain, their friends and families may be seduced into believing this. Why wouldn't they? They don't know the truth. And it doesn't really matter all that much, it is yourself belief that matters. The recognition brings a painful clarity, and it precedes “the reckoning”, where your actions will speak louder than any words. And this stage, precedes recovery.

03/08/2026

Coming in September....

Address

Witney

Telephone

+447919022130

Website

, , ,

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The online parental guidance group posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to The online parental guidance group:

Shortcuts

Share

Category