19/05/2026
I’ve been sobbing my heart out today and to be quite honest I’ve been feeling really inwards and vulnerable for a while. And I want to share one of the reasons why, because I think it’s the most honest answer I’ve ever given to the question of “why do I offer this work? Why do I want to help others?”
I’m grieving my mum.
Not just her slowly dying, but the version of her I never had. The relationship I longed for but didn’t get, who I had to be to feel accepted by her, what I had to sacrifice just to stay in connection with her. The silent pain she carried and unknowingly passed on to me.
All I ever wanted was a mother who could hold me through my grief, my anger, my sadness, my full expression, without trying to fix it, make it something different than what it was or taking it personal. Who could show me it was safe to slow down, to feel, to receive love. Who taught me I was worthy of joy. Who held space for all of me, not just the parts that were “easy” to love.
And I didn’t get that. And that breaks my heart.
And somewhere in all of that loss, I became the woman I always needed. I learned to hold space for my own grief, my own anger, my own aloneness, my own joy. It hasn’t been graceful and neither quick… but I got there.
And this is why I offer what I offer.
Because I know now that it was never the painful emotions that wounded me most.
It was being completely alone with them.
The isolation, the aloneness, the sense that no one could hold what I was feeling without flinching, that I didn’t matter and no one really knew me and my inner world.
That is what I refuse to keep passing on.
This space exists because of the pain I carried alone for so long and because I never want another woman to feel what that feels like. To feel like her pain is too much, too messy, too inconvenient for the world. To feel like she doesn’t matter, like she isn’t needed here.
You do matter. You are needed. And you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
Sessions available in Oswestry. Link in bio. 🤍
