27/08/2026
孩子可能會忘記自己打破了甚麼，
卻未必會忘記——
犯錯時，大人怎樣看待自己。
故事中，女兒不小心打破古董，碎片也割傷了她的手。媽媽衝過來時，第一眼看見的卻是地上的古董。
媽媽不是不愛女兒。只是那一刻，焦急和憤怒走在關心前面。
一句「你知不知道這件古董有多珍貴？」，落在孩子心裡，可能變成：「這件古董，比我更重要。」
事情很快過去了，感受卻在母女之間留下了一道看不見的牆。三十年後，媽媽才明白：當年急着處理女兒做錯的「事」，卻忘了先看見眼前受傷的「人」。
ICAN提醒我們：
先關心，後處理；
先同理，再講道理。
關心孩子是否受傷，並不代表縱容錯誤；理解孩子的感受，也不代表放棄界線。當孩子感到安全和被理解，才更有能力面對錯誤、承擔責任和從中學習。
孩子犯錯時，你第一時間看見的，是事情造成的損失，還是孩子當下的感受？
—
A child may forget what they broke,
but they may not forget how an adult made them feel when they made a mistake.
In this story, a girl accidentally breaks an antique and cuts her hand. Her mother rushes over—but the first thing she sees is the shattered antique.
It isn’t that the mother does not love her daughter. In that moment, shock and anger simply come before care.
The incident soon passes, but the feeling leaves an invisible wall between them. Thirty years later, the mother realises that while focusing on what her daughter had done, she had overlooked the hurting child in front of her.
An ICAN reminder:
Care before correcting.
Connect before teaching.
Compassion does not excuse a mistake, and understanding does not remove boundaries. When children feel safe and understood, they are better able to face mistakes, take responsibility and learn from them.
When a child makes a mistake, what do you notice first—the damage, or how the child is feeling?
#父母之道
