Tina SM - Gravity Within

07/10/2026

पुलिस की हिंसा आखिर क्यों होती है?

अभी हाल ही में जंतर-मंतर पर नेहा बोरा समेत कई प्रदर्शनकारियों को पुलिस ने हिरासत में लिया। ऐसे मामलों में सवाल उठता है, एक पुलिस वाला, जो खुद हमारी तरह एक आम इंसान है, वो दूसरे आम लोगों के साथ हिंसक क्यों हो जाता है?

ये सवाल नया नहीं है। अंग्रेज़ों के समय भी पुलिस और सेना में बहुत सारे भारतीय थे, और कई बार वही भारतीय अपने ही देश के लोगों के खिलाफ बल इस्तेमाल करते थे।

तो इसकी मानसिकता को कैसे समझें?

पहली चीज़ है, ऊपर के आदेश को मानना।

पुलिस एक ऊँची-नीची व्यवस्था है। ऊपर से आदेश आता है और कई बार इंसान अपनी समझ से ज्यादा उस आदेश को मानने लगता है।

दूसरी चीज़ है, हम सामने वाले को देखते कैसे हैं।

प्रदर्शन में सामने सैकड़ों लोग होते हैं। वो व्यक्ति नहीं दिखते—सिर्फ “प्रदर्शनकारी” या “भीड़” दिखते हैं। और जब इंसान व्यक्ति की जगह एक समूह बन जाता है, तो उसके लिए संवेदना कम हो सकती है।

फिर आता है, “हम और वो।”

पुलिस एक तरफ,

29/09/2026

Can political pain also be a form of grief?

Have you ever felt disappointed by the political side you voted for?

Or felt a deep sense of loss after political events, violence, discrimination, corruption, or losing trust in institutions?

Maybe you’re constantly consuming political news, and now you feel emotionally exhausted and don’t want to hear any more.

That may be more than simply being “upset about politics.”

It could be political grief.

Political grief is not just about feeling sad because your political party is lost.

Sometimes, we grieve the loss of a hope, a sense of trust, safety, belonging, or the future we imagined for our society.

And understanding that feeling matters.

16/09/2026

What do we really fear when we fall in love?

On 13 September, I had the opportunity to be part of a thoughtful conversation on modern-day relationships, love, breakups, emotional stress and trauma, organised by Dehri, with Vaibhav leading the conversation.

My role in the session was to bring in a counsellor’s perspective, to look at these experiences not simply as matters of romance, but through the lens of emotions, attachment, psychological wellbeing, stress, trauma and emotional safety.

What made the session particularly interesting was the way Vaibhav approached it.

Instead of giving the participants ready-made answers, he asked questions.

Questions that made them pause.

What does love actually mean to you?

Are we afraid of relationships, or of getting hurt in them?

What makes a breakup so painful?

Do we grieve the person, the relationship, or the future we imagined with them?

Why do some relationships feel safe while others leave us constantly anxious?

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question.

Do we sometimes confuse love with attachment, dependency, validation or the fear of being alone?

Most of the participants were Gen Z, and listening to their perspectives was fascinating. Their understanding of relationships is evolving in the middle of a very different social and emotional landscape, where dating is more visible, communication is instantaneous, boundaries are being discussed more openly, but loneliness, anxiety, comparison and emotional uncertainty are also very real.

As a counsellor, I believe we need to move beyond the simplistic idea that a breakup is simply something we should “get over.”

Relationships can touch some of our deepest emotional needs, belonging, safety, validation, identity and attachment.

So when a relationship ends, sometimes we aren't only losing a person.

We may also be grieving a version of ourselves, a sense of security, or a future we had imagined.

That is why conversations around love and relationships need psychological depth, not just romantic advice.

Thank you, Vaibhav, and the team at Dehri for creating a space where young people could question, reflect and speak honestly.

And thank you to everyo

09/09/2026

जब एक महिला कहती है - “Smash the Patriarchy”, तो उसे अक्सर dismiss कर दिया जाता है।

लेकिन जब यही बात कोई पुरुष नेता सार्वजनिक रूप से कहता है, तो उसका psychological impact अलग हो सकता है।

क्योंकि message सिर्फ महिलाओं तक नहीं जाता - पुरुषों तक भी जाता है।
यह महिलाओं को validation देता है कि उनकी autonomy और आवाज़ legitimate है, और पुरुषों को यह सोचने पर मजबूर करता है कि gender equality सिर्फ महिलाओं की लड़ाई नहीं है।

कभी-कभी बदलाव की शुरुआत structure बदलने से पहले structure को नाम देने से होती है।

तो सवाल यह है - जब कोई पुरुष कहता है “Smash the Patriarchy”, क्या वह सिर्फ एक slogan है, या social norms को challenge करने वाला psychological signal?

mentalhealthmatters❤️

03/09/2026

Emotional abuse doesn’t always leave visible bruises.

Sometimes, it sounds like:

“You’re too sensitive.” “That never happened.” “You’re imagining things.” “Nobody else would tolerate you.”

Sometimes, it looks like constant guilt-tripping, silent treatment, control, or making you question your own feelings.

And over time, something begins to change.

You start choosing your words carefully. You stop expressing what you feel. You change what you wear, who you meet, where you go. You begin walking on eggshells, constantly trying to prevent the other person’s reaction.

And perhaps the most painful part is when you start wondering:

“Maybe I really am the problem.”

A relationship can have conflict, disagreements and difficult moments. But there is a difference between having conflict and repeatedly being made to feel small, confused, afraid, guilty or unworthy.

Love should not require you to constantly prove that you deserve respect.

If you find yourself constantly feeling anxious, controlled, guilty or emotionally drained in a relationship, don't dismiss those feelings.

Pause. Listen to yourself. Talk to someone you trust. And if you need support, asking for help is not weakness.

You deserve relationships where you feel safe, heard and respected.

Because love should feel safe.
Not scary

25/08/2026

Why Hierarchical Institutions Can Be Bad for Your Mental Health

When we talk about mental health, we often focus on individual issues like anxiety, stress, trauma, or relationships. But mental health is also shaped by the value systems and social structures we live within.

My concern with institutions like the RSS is their relationship with hierarchy, authority, and democracy. When a person strongly identifies with an organisation or ideology that normalises hierarchy and unquestioned authority, those values can enter the family as well.

Hierarchy can take many forms, caste, gender, religion, age, or social status. When one person is placed above others, their opinions and decisions can become more important, while others are expected to follow. But healthy families require dialogue, mutual respect, emotional safety, and the freedom to disagree.

And hierarchy can affect the person at the top too. When someone becomes accustomed to being obeyed rather than questioned, they may have fewer opportunities to develop empathy and emotional flexibility. They may struggle to recognise the pain, sadness, or perspective of those around them.

These patterns do not necessarily remain within the family. Children observe how adults exercise power and learn what relationships are supposed to look like. If they repeatedly see obedience being valued over dialogue, those patterns can become normalised and passed from one generation to another.

That is why mental health cannot be separated entirely from politics and social structures. Our psychological wellbeing is also shaped by the relationships and power systems in which we live.

A psychologically healthy family is not one where one person rules and everyone else follows. It is one where people can speak, disagree, listen, negotiate, and still remain connected.

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17/08/2026

What does freedom actually feel like?

Freedom isn't just the absence of restrictions. Sometimes, it is the feeling of finally being able to say:

“I can choose.”

Psychologically, autonomy is one of our fundamental human needs. When we feel that our choices belong to us, not to fear, expectations, guilt, or someone else's control, we experience a greater sense of agency.

And our brain responds to that.

When we feel safe enough to make our own decisions, the systems involved in motivation, reward and decision-making become more engaged, while the constant sense of threat and monitoring can begin to settle.

That is why freedom can sometimes feel almost physical.

You breathe differently.
You think more clearly.
You become curious again.
You start imagining possibilities.

But freedom can also be uncomfortable.

If you've spent years being controlled, judged, or afraid of making the “wrong” choice, having choices can initially feel frightening. Your nervous system may need time to learn:

“I can choose for myself, and I will be okay.”

Perhaps psychological freedom isn't about having no responsibilities or boundaries.

Perhaps it is about knowing:

I have a choice.
My voice matters.
I can say no.
I can change my mind.
And I am allowed to build a life that feels like mine.

That, too, is healing.


🇮🇳

10/08/2026

Here are a few psychology-based points you can use to explain why one movement can create a ripple effect and inspire other movements:
Collective efficacy: When people see others successfully coming together and speaking up, they begin to believe, “We can do this too.” One group’s action can increase another group’s sense of collective power.
Emotional contagion: Courage, anger, hope and solidarity can spread socially. When people witness others refusing to remain silent, those emotions can become motivating rather than remaining private feelings.
Social proof: People often look to others to understand whether speaking out is possible, acceptable or worthwhile. When one movement breaks that hesitation, it can lower the psychological barrier for others.
Shared identity and injustice: Different struggles may have different causes, but people can recognise a common experience of being ignored, unheard or treated unfairly. That recognition creates solidarity and encourages people to act.
Hope is contagious: Perhaps the most important ripple is psychological, one successful act of resistance can make change feel possible. Once people see that collective action can produce a response, they become less likely to believe that nothing can change.

10/08/2026

Here are a few psychology-based points you can use to explain why one movement can create a ripple effect and inspire other movements:
Collective efficacy: When people see others successfully coming together and speaking up, they begin to believe, “We can do this too.” One group’s action can increase another group’s sense of collective power.
Emotional contagion: Courage, anger, hope and solidarity can spread socially. When people witness others refusing to remain silent, those emotions can become motivating rather than remaining private feelings.
Social proof: People often look to others to understand whether speaking out is possible, acceptable or worthwhile. When one movement breaks that hesitation, it can lower the psychological barrier for others.
Shared identity and injustice: Different struggles may have different causes, but people can recognise a common experience of being ignored, unheard or treated unfairly. That recognition creates solidarity and encourages people to act.
Hope is contagious: Perhaps the most important ripple is psychological, one successful act of resistance can make change feel possible. Once people see that collective action can produce a response, they become less likely to believe that nothing can change.

10/06/2026

I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Made India Proud on the subject of mental health and Indian women.

In this conversation, we discuss emotional wellbeing, gendered experiences, social expectations, and the importance of creating spaces where women can speak openly about their mental health.

Thank you to the team for providing a platform for this important discussion.

Watch here :

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