07/06/2026
“I really wanted to ring that bell.”
A patient said this after finishing radiation therapy. She had been looking forward to that final treatment—the sound of the bell marking the end of a difficult chapter.
But there was no bell.
And I understood her disappointment.
I just celebrated my birthday, so perhaps I am thinking about milestones more than usual. Birthdays may be just another day, but they invite us to pause and take stock: Where have I been? What am I grateful for? What do I want to carry forward?
Humans have always created rituals around milestones—birthdays, graduations, weddings, funerals, anniversaries—as a way to pause and say, something happened here. Rituals help us mark transitions, regulate emotions, and create meaning around important life events. (Hobson et al., 2018)
Cancer milestones can be complicated. Finishing treatment, getting through a scan, or simply feeling a little more like yourself again—these moments matter. Yet many hesitate to celebrate, worried it is too soon or that celebration means pretending everything is okay.
But celebration does not have to mean certainty.
It simply means: this mattered.
I think we need that pause. Our minds naturally move on to the next thing. We have to tell them to stop and recognize the accomplishment before they jump ahead to the next worry, task, or worst-case scenario.
That is why positive reflection matters. It is not denial. It is balance.
Research suggests that positive emotions—gratitude, pride, joy, and hope—can broaden our perspective and build resilience over time. Noticing what went well is not superficial; it reminds us that fear is not the only thing that is true. (Fredrickson, 2001)
So how do we mark a milestone without pretending we have “arrived” or that everything is suddenly perfect?
Pause before moving on.
Before rushing to the next thing, take a moment to acknowledge where you are. “I completed this round.” “I made it through a hard month.” “I showed up when I didn’t want to.”
Give yourself credit where credit is due.
We tend to minimize our own effort. We say, “I had no choice,” or “Other people have it worse.” But getting through something hard still counts. You can be exhausted and grateful. Scared and hopeful. Proud of where you are right now.
Look forward.
Milestones do not have to be finish lines. They can simply be places to pause before continuing. Honor what you have carried, and then look toward the next possibility: How do I want to move forward now?
If there is no bell, make your own.
Have dinner with someone you love. Take a photo. Write down three things you made it through. Go for a walk. Light a candle. Thank your body for carrying you this far. Celebrate in your own way.
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