Charlene Borg M Sys Psy

Charlene Borg M Sys Psy Couple and Family Therapist;
Individual therapy;
Clinical Supervisor.

Choosing curiosity over assumption and offering the benefit of the doubt are twin pillars of long-term HEALTHY relations...
15/06/2026

Choosing curiosity over assumption and offering the benefit of the doubt are twin pillars of long-term HEALTHY relationships.

1. No matter how much you know each other, you still cannot read minds.
2. Pause your narrative, ask how & what instead of why, to help re-frame your narrative.
3. Update the mental map of each other, people change over time.
4. Create a safe landing for each other when one makes a mistake.

Images with compliments of QuoteFancy

Phrases like 'I'm done', 'I had enough', 'You always/never' are relationship termination threats and absolute generaliza...
08/06/2026

Phrases like 'I'm done', 'I had enough', 'You always/never' are relationship termination threats and absolute generalizations which dismantle couple safety-activating abandonment alerts, they fuel chronic disconnection and they erase partner's efforts.
They move away a conversation from addressing a specific discussion to threatening the stability of the bond itself. They replace a collaborative us vs. the problem into me vs. you.

Images with compliments of GOQii

01/06/2026

Filling up quickly

01/06/2026

Having vulnerabilities, being in touch with our emotions and talking about them is
NOT weakness

Sarcasm and contempt are armors and NOT tools for conflict. They keep us from exposing what is really happening inside o...
25/05/2026

Sarcasm and contempt are armors and NOT tools for conflict. They keep us from exposing what is really happening inside of us, escalating and derailing arguments.

Behind sarcasm is often a desire to connect, masked by fear of rejection.
Behind contempt is often a deep disappointment or a defense mechanism to feel superior when actually we feel inadequate.

Leaning into one's truth, can feel like trading the safety of a bullet proof armor for the possibility to be seen.
When one leans into their truth, it doesn't mean their partner will necessarily respond how they want them to. It means choosing their integrity by communicating their truth.

To help shift the sarcasm and contempt cycle:
1. Pause and ask yourself; "What is my actual emotion if I couldn't use contempt or sarcasm?
2. Use "I" statements; I am feeling...
3. Speaking our truth can feel unpolished, awkward, and intensely uncomfortable at first. IT GETS BETTER!

This is a practice not an overnight switch.

Image with compliments of Capitalize my Title

Today I will breakdown two choices one has in relation to life/personal struggles; Reflection and Problem Solving or Dis...
18/05/2026

Today I will breakdown two choices one has in relation to life/personal struggles; Reflection and Problem Solving or Distraction and Alienation.

Reflection & Problem Solving:
1. Reclaims personal power and ones sense of agency.
2. Identifies root cause, rather than just treat symptoms.
3. Observes a repetitive pattern or the unique external challenge.
4. Focuses on what I can change which reduces anxiety.

Alienation & Distraction: Alienation is when one distances the self from emotions, community & reality. Distraction acts as a buffer that keeps pain away.
1. Numbing keeps uncomfortable emotions away but leaves the core issue to fester.
2. Erosion of self-trust by believing that one can't handle their own life/struggles.
3. One pulls themselves away from caring others who can help.

The next time you feel afraid of the reflection audit and you're tempted to distract and alienate, ask yourself: If I weren't afraid what would the first step toward solving this look like?

Choosing reflection is harder in the moment, but its the only way to ensure that next year's struggles aren't a carbon copy of this year's.

Images with compliments of Shutterstock

A common relationship myth is that successful couples resolve all their problems. Research shows that approximately 69%...
11/05/2026

A common relationship myth is that successful couples resolve all their problems. Research shows that approximately 69% of conflict won't simply fix with a good conversation.
This means resolution is only half of the equation. Couples still need to learn to:
1. Hold connection even when they disagree.
2. Avoid the win-lose trap. We both win, we both lose mindset is the most helpful.
3. Acknowledge that you are 2 different people and the relationship needs to hold space for your differences.

Image with compliments or Higgins & Carter LLC

Being realistic and being hopeful can co-exist. Being hopeful is not blind optimism. Hope provides the motivation and in...
04/05/2026

Being realistic and being hopeful can co-exist. Being hopeful is not blind optimism. Hope provides the motivation and intellectual capacity to try realistic strategies towards one's desire.

What is healing in therapy? It is not a state of 'cured' to reach, it is the process of taking ones messy, painful, or c...
27/04/2026

What is healing in therapy? It is not a state of 'cured' to reach, it is the process of taking ones messy, painful, or confusing parts of their lived experience and making sense of them in a way that one can live comfortably with.
Imagine re-organizing a cluttered room. The items do not necessarily disappear but one stops tripping over the items whenever they walk in.

Healing looks like:
1. Becoming self-aware of what triggers us. Creating a gap between the trigger and the choice of response, rather than reacting.
2. Expanding the window of emotional tolerance. One still feels sadness, anxiety, anger but they no longer flood you and shut you down. You know they will peak and then subside.
3. Stop believing the harshest thoughts are objective truths, like; I'm not good enough, I'm messed-up and cannot change etc...
4. In case of trauma, moving the memory from the active part of the brain, where everything is happening now, to the narrative part, where it is felt that it happened in the past.

Images with compliments of Harsha Agarwal

Healing in therapy happens in the relational space, when the therapist witnesses the pain, fear, confusion, shame and ma...
20/04/2026

Healing in therapy happens in the relational space, when the therapist witnesses the pain, fear, confusion, shame and many other dreadful emotions. The nervous system of the therapist responds to that of the client, this is called co-regulation of the emotional state and it is a necessary requirement for (deep) trauma healing.

Images with compliments of Erko Psychology.

Address

The Pembroke Health Hub, . Paths, G'Mangia. The Therapy Center
Paola

Telephone

+35679051241

Website

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