23/09/2026
ADAMMA WASN’T ALWAYS A LIAR. SHE LEARNED THAT PAIN COULD BRING PEOPLE CLOSER.
Adamma lost both parents when she was only 3 years old.
She grew up watching other children receive the kind of attention she desperately wanted, someone asking, “Are you okay?”
Someone bringing food.
Someone sitting beside her when she's sick.
Someone saying, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”
But nobody seemed to ask Adamma those questions.
As she grew older, something strange began to happen.
Whenever she felt lonely, she would talk about being sick.
A headache became “a serious health condition.”
A normal stomach pain became a “chronic illness.”
Sometimes, she exaggerated symptoms. Sometimes, she completely fabricated them.
And people responded.
They called her.
They sent money.
They prayed for her.
They checked on her.
For a few moments, Adamma felt important.
So the behaviour continued.
The problem was that the more she received affection through illness, the more difficult it became to ask for affection directly.
She didn't know how to say:
“I feel lonely.”
“I need someone to care about me.”
“I still carry the pain of losing my parents so young.”
“Please don't leave me.”
Instead, her pain found another language:
“I'm sick.”
This doesn't mean fabricating illness is okay.
It can hurt people, exploit their compassion, create unnecessary fear, and make others doubt genuine health concerns.
But sometimes, behind a behaviour that looks manipulative, there may be an unmet emotional need that the person has never learned to express in a healthier way.
And that's where compassion and accountability have to meet.
We shouldn't encourage the lie.
But we also shouldn't stop at:
“She's just an attention seeker.”
We can ask:
“What does she believe she has to do to receive love?”
Because sometimes, the behaviour is the problem.
But underneath the behaviour is a person who may never have learned another way to say:
“Please see me. Please care about me. Please don't forget me.”
Mental health support is not about excusing harmful behaviour.
It is about understanding what is underneath it, taking responsibility for it, and learning healthier ways to meet those needs.
Sometimes, healing begins when someone finally learns that they don't have to be sick to deserve care.
And this is part of why Kedu Therapy and Serenity Support exists.
Kedu Therapy and Serenity Support is a Pan-African mental health company working to democratize access to comprehensive, affordable mental health care and support across Africa, because mental healthcare shouldn't be a privilege reserved for people who can afford expensive, difficult-to-access services.
Sometimes people don't need another person to judge their behaviour.
They need a safe place to understand it.
They need the right support to heal what is underneath it.
Because when we make mental healthcare accessible, we don't just treat symptoms.
We give people a chance to understand their stories and learn healthier ways to live them.
Kedu Therapy and Serenity Support making mental healthcare more accessible, comprehensive and human.
Check the link in the comments to learn more about us and book your session.
