Singles, Sex and Spouses

27/09/2026

THE LOVE THAT COVERS ME❤️ This epistle is to my darling , Pastor Matthew Godsown Efosa.
A decade and one year of marriage.
Over 14 years of friendship.
And a lifetime of memories, lessons, laughter, prayers and growth.
If someone had told us years ago that the friendship we started would become a marriage, a family, a ministry and a journey of becoming… perhaps we would have smiled and wondered how.
But here we are. ❤️
11 years later, I can truly say: God has been faithful.
My darling, yours is not just the love that celebrates me when everything is beautiful.
Yours is the love that covers me.
The love that stays when life gets complicated.
The love that listens when words fail.
The love that prays when answers seem far away.
The love that encourages me when I doubt myself.
The love that corrects me without destroying me.
The love that celebrates my victories without competing with me.
You have seen me in seasons when I was strong and in seasons when I was simply trying to find my strength again.
You have watched me grow, stumble, learn, dream, build and become.
And through it all, you stayed.
Thank you for being more than my husband.
Thank you for being my friend.
My confidant.
My prayer partner.
My encourager.
My biggest supporter.
The man who often stands quietly behind the things God is doing through me.
There are sacrifices you have made that people may never see.
There are prayers you have prayed that nobody may ever hear.
There are battles you have helped me fight silently.
And there are moments when your simple presence reminded me that I was never alone.
I don't take any of it for granted.
Our story has not been perfect.
We started this journey unprepared, immature and unsure of all that marriage would demand from us.
But God has patiently taught us.
He has stretched us.
He has humbled us.
He has strengthened us.
He has helped us grow—not just as husband and wife, but as friends, parents and partners in purpose.
And after all these years, one thing remains deeply precious to me:
I still choose you.
Not because the journey has been without challenges, but because through every season, I have seen God's hand upon us.
Pastor Efosa Godsown Matthew , my love and my crown, thank you for being the love that covers me.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for choosing me.
Thank you for building with me.
Thank you for believing in me.
14+ years of friendship.
11 years of marriage.
One beautiful family.
One faithful God.
And by God's grace, many more chapters to write together.

I love you, my darling husband.
Happy 11 years of marriage to us.

“Above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8 KJV
Forever yours,
Dcns. Efosa Phoebe Onyinye

04/09/2026

DAY 12 — DON’T HUMILIATE THE PERSON YOU LOVE
Your spouse should never have to wonder if you will protect their dignity in public.

Don't expose their weaknesses for laughs.
Don't embarrass them to win an argument.
Don't tell private stories just to get attention.

📖 “Love… is kind.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4

❤️ TODAY’S SHIFT

Correct privately. Honour publicly.

You can be angry with your spouse and still protect their dignity.

✅ TODAY’S ACTION

Before sharing something about your spouse today, ask:

“Would I say this if they were standing beside me?”

If not, don't say it.

Love protects what pride wants to expose.

Lord, teach us to honour our spouses with our words, both privately and publicly. Amen.

Does your feel safe knowing you will protect their dignity?

27/08/2026

17/08/2026

8 LIES ABOUT LOVE-MAKING YOU MUST NOT BELIEVE

$€X is one of the major things that lead to MARITAL CRISIS, SEPARATION and DIVORCE

$€x in marriage is a gift from God: Regular s*x strengthens marital love, unity, and commitment.

There are some lies about s*x you must not believe

1. “$€x must not take place on Sunday Because it is a holy day”.

As a marriage counselor, I discovered that some couples don’t make love on Sundays because they believe it is a holy day.

The Truth is that S*x in marriage is holy. It is not something that cannot take place on Sunday. S*x can take place on Sunday morning before going to church or after the church service when you are relaxing at home. Ride on and enjoy your s*x life;

S*x in marriage is holy. The Bible is in total support of s*x between husband and wife. So don’t feel guilty about it

2. Lie: Married Couple Must Only Practice Missionary Style

This is a big lie!

ENJOY DIFFERENT STYLES OF S*X. THERE IS NOWHERE WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE THAT YOU MUST ONLY DO MISSIONARY STYLE. DIFFERENT STYLES OF S*X IS NOT A SIN. Be creative and enjoy your s*x life. Try new s*x positions. Every married couple should master at least four different types of s*x styles. Let there be a revival of s*x in your bedroom. Try different s*x positions.

3. Lie: “S*x MUST only take place under the cover of darkness”.

A man told me that his wife would never agree to make love with him unless the light was off.

The Truth is that S*x in marriage is not a work of darkness. It can take place whether the light is on or the light off. If you have been used to having S*X in darkness, try it when the light is on and enjoy the variety.

4. Lie: if you want to have powerful anointing, stay away from marital s*x

This lie is common among pastors and serious brothers in the Lord

The Truth is that S*x in marriage does not destroy or reduce anointing. S*x with your spouse has no negative effect ON your spiritual LIFE.

S*x in marriage is not a sin. So, it does not destroy the anointing. S*x does not hinder the move of God nor does it reduce the anointing. S*x in marriage is Godly: Husband and wife should not see it as a sin that will hinder their prayers or destroy their relationship with God. So, couples should enjoy it

5. LIE: ABSTAINING FROM S*X WITHIN MARRIAGE, MAKES YOU CLOSER TO GOD.

This is a lie from the pit of hell. You hear some couple say, I want to get closer to God this year and I want to abstain from s*x. Hello, why didn’t you remain single for life since you know you would like to abstain from s*x and get closer to God?

S*X IS A GIFT OF GOD FOR MARRIED COUPLES AND MARRIED COUPLES NEED TO ENJOY THIS WONDERFUL GIFT. ABSTAINING FROM S*X IN MARRIAGE IS DISOBEYING THE WORD OF GOD UNLESS FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF FASTING WITH THE AGREEMENT OF YOUR SPOUSE

6. LIE: “WOMEN MUST NOT INITIATE S*X IN MARRIAGE. EVEN IF THEY DESIRE IT.

The Truth is that: Wives, like their husbands, can demand s*x from their men. This can be done directly or indirectly. The body of a man belongs to the wife and vice versa.

7. “Women must not show it when they enjoy s*x”.

Truth: Both the husband and his wife should express their enjoyment through communication, by rolling, speaking, commending, praising, etc. There is nothing bad about it.

Talk, Do Not Keep Quiet: Don’t keep quiet when you are making love. Talk, smile, comment, praise, and moan. Just show him that you are enjoying it, and your husband will love it. It will make your spouse very happy. 80 percent of men in the research said they would love their wives to talk as they make love. S*x is for both of us to enjoy

8. LIE: S*X IS ONLY FOR CHILDBEARING

S*x in marriage is for pleasure not only childbearing: S*x is not just for babymaking. It is for pleasure, purity, and expression of love to enhance intimacy, a better marriage, unity, oneness, and preservation of your home.

To enjoy the pleasure of s*x in your marriage, a good family planning method must be in place to have fulfilling s*x without fear of unwanted pregnancy

NOTE: LOVEMAKINGG IS STRICTLY FOR MARRIED COUPLES

You will not fail in marriage in Jesus' name

16/08/2026

Your present challenge is not stronger than God’s promise. 🔥
The storm may be loud.
The waiting may be painful.
The situation may look impossible.

But God’s Word remains true.

Don’t let what you see today make you doubt what God has spoken.

Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep standing.
Your story is still unfolding, and God is not finished with you. ❤️

If you’re standing on a promise from God, comment “I STILL BELIEVE” 👇🏾

24/06/2026

Please parents teach your children s*x Education...

Imagine these secondary school students after their examination...

24/06/2026

NOBODY WARNS YOU THAT SEXUAL SIN DOESN'T JUST AFFECT YOUR BODY… IT FOLLOWS YOUR SOUL INTO YOUR FUTURE MARRIAGE BED.

And that is exactly why we need to talk about this today.

Now before anyone misreads me…
S*x is NOT a sin.
Say it again.
S*x. Is. NOT. A. Sin.

God created it. God blessed it. God called it good.
Inside marriage? It is sweet, sacred, and absolutely spectacular.

It is worship. It is intimacy. It is covenant expressed in the most physical way possible.

Song of Solomon exists in your Bible for a reason beloved.

But here is where the enemy twisted what God designed…
The moment s*x leaves the altar of marriage…
It changes names.

It is no longer intimacy.
It is fornication.
And fornication is not just a sin against God…
It is a sin against your own body.

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is outside the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
— 1 Corinthians 6:18

So what exactly are we naming today?
S*xual sin outside marriage includes:
Fornication — s*xual in*******se between two unmarried people. Sweet in the moment. Costly in the spirit.

Examples of s*xual sin;

1. Po*******hy — it is not "just watching." It rewires your brain, corrupts your expectations, and trains your mind to consume people instead of cherish them.

2. Ma********on — often entered through fantasy, fueled by lust, and it keeps you bonded to a pleasure that was never yours to take alone.

3. S*xting and s*xual conversations — sin does not always start in the bedroom. It starts in the phone. In the DM. In the "innocent" conversation that went somewhere it shouldn't.

4. Soul ties through past s*xual partners — every person you were s*xually involved with left something behind. And you carried something of theirs forward. Into your next relationship. Into your marriage bed. Into your emotional patterns.

S*xual fantasy and lust — Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that to look with lust is to already commit the act in your heart. The mind is the first bedroom.

Now here is where I come in today…;
Because I am not just here to name the sin.
I am here to show you the way out.

HOW DO YOU OVERCOME SEXUAL SIN AND ADICTION?;
1. Call it what it is.
Stop saying "I have a weakness."
Name it. Fornication. Po*******hy. Lust. Addiction.
You cannot repent of what you refuse to identify.

2. Genuine repentance — not just regret.
Regret says "I feel bad."
Repentance says "I am turning around and not returning."
Run to God. Not away from Him. He is not surprised by your struggle. He is waiting with grace.

3. Renew your mind daily.
Romans 12:2 — "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
What you feed grows. What you starve dies.
Fill your mind with the Word. With worship, with sermons. With purpose.
Because a mind occupied with God has less room for lust to set up camp.

4. Remove the access points.
Delete the apps.
Block the contact.
Remove what triggers you — ruthlessly and without negotiation.
If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. Jesus was not playing. Neither should you. Matthew 5:30

5. Accountability — get a real one.
Not someone who will laugh with you about it.
A Godly, mature, same-gender person who will pray WITH you, check on you, and tell you the truth even when it is uncomfortable.
Isolation is where s*xual sin thrives.
Community is where it dies. You need someone you can reach out to when you are about to do the do be it ma********on, prostitution, fonication etc, let it be someone who you listen too , someone above you ...someone who can command you by authority to stop immediately there and then. I pray you meet the right one .

6. Heal what the sin was medicating.
Most s*xual addiction is not really about s*x.
It is about loneliness. Pain. Rejection. Boredom. Unhealed trauma.
The sin was the painkiller.
Find the wound. Bring it to God. Get help — spiritual and professional if needed.

7. Guard your courtship/singleness with structure.
Stop creating environments where you set yourself up to fall.
Alone in the house. Late nights. Emotional intimacy without boundaries.
Structure is not lack of trust — it is wisdom in a body that has feelings.

8. Pray specifically and consistently if possible, I recommend fasting more...very important.
Not a general "God help me" prayer.
A targeted, specific, daily warfare prayer over your s*xuality.
"Lord, I surrender my body to You. It is Your temple. I will not defile it."
Your s*xuality needs to be under the Lordship of Christ — not just your career and calling. Make a covenant with it. Covenants are powerful I can testify to it.

9. Understand what you are protecting.
Your purity is not just about avoiding sin.
It is about protecting your future marriage.
It is about protecting your spiritual sensitivity.
It is about protecting the clarity of your assignment.
S*xual sin clouds discernment. It dims spiritual vision. It delays destiny.

10. Know that freedom is REAL and available to you.
You are not too far gone.
Your history is not your identity.
Galatians 5:1 — "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."
That freedom includes s*xual freedom.
You CAN walk in purity. Not by willpower alone. But by grace, structure, community, and daily surrender.

I am here today not to condemn you.
But to tell you the truth in love.
Because the world will tell you to enjoy it.
Culture will normalize it.
But God is calling you to something higher —
A life, a body, and a future marriage bed that has been guarded, honoured, and set apart.

And THAT is worth every sacrifice you make today.

Do well to SHARE this post someone else might be saved right now and God will count you a pertsker of the testimony and glory accorded to it.

NOTE; marriage is not a cure to s*xual addiction , if you are single, deal with the problem before you enter it. And if you are marriage, do seek help.

I speak over your life now; You shall walk in freedom. You shall marry with honour. Your future shall be beautiful in Jesus name. 🌹🙌🏻

08/06/2026

📌 Monday 8th June, 2026

*SSNS Relationship & Marriage Insight*

Many people enter relationships looking for someone who will make them happy.
But lasting relationships are built by people who have learned how to create happiness, peace, and stability within themselves.

If you are not at peace with yourself, you may struggle to be at peace with others.

A healthy relationship begins with two healthy individuals.

Before seeking the right partner, invest in becoming the right person.
✔ Develop your character
✔ Strengthen your faith
✔ Improve your communication
✔ Heal from past hurts
✔ Pursue your purpose

The best relationships are not built by perfect people, but by growing people.

SSNS Family,
Which do you believe contributes most to a successful marriage?
A. Love
B. Trust
C. Communication
D. Emotional Maturity

👇 Share your thoughts in the comments.

❤️ Follow, share, and invite others to join the SSNS Family for daily relationship and marriage wisdom.

*xesAndSpouses

— Pastor Matthew Godsown Efosa
Convener – Singles, S*xes and Spouses (SSNS)

06/06/2026

You can grow in your marriage

06/06/2026

FIVE TINY RITUAL THAT KEEPS COUPLES CLOSE...