The Radiant Wife Circle, Lagos (2026)

29/09/2026

BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND A WIFE, WHO CAN CHANGE THE OTHER MORE EASILY?

Some people say that it is easier for a man to change a woman than for a woman to change a man. They believe this is because a man often has the economic power in the home, occupies the leadership role, and has certain ways of influencing his wife that make it easier for her to respond to him.

I do not completely agree with that.

I believe that both a husband and a wife have the ability to influence each other and encourage change in each other. The difference is that the instrument a woman needs to use to influence her husband may be very different from the instrument a man uses to influence his wife.

A man can often engage his wife through conversation. He can sit with her, explain something to her, encourage her, motivate her, and sometimes even persuade her to see things differently.

A woman may try to do exactly the same thing with her husband and get a completely different result.

She talks to him.
She explains what she thinks he should do.
She gives him advice.
She points out what he is doing wrong.
She tries to motivate him to become better.

And after some time, the same man who she is desperately trying to help begins to feel that she is nagging him.

This is where many wives become confused.

They begin to ask, “What exactly does this man want? He clearly needs help. I can see the problem. I know what he can do differently, and I am even willing to help him. So why does he keep rejecting my help?”

It can be a very difficult situation for both husband and wife.

The wife feels helpless because she can see her husband's potential, but she cannot seem to get him to move.

The husband, on the other hand, may begin to feel that his wife is constantly correcting him, advising him, or trying to tell him what to do. What she sees as help may be experienced by him as pressure or criticism.

This is why I believe that one of the biggest problems is not necessarily that men are difficult to change.

Sometimes, the problem is that we do not know how to influence the person we are trying to help.

You cannot always use the method that works for you on another person and expect the same result.

The way a woman likes to receive correction is not the way your husband likes to receive it. The way you respond to encouragement may not be the way he responds to it. Even the words that motivate you may irritate him.

This does not mean that he cannot change.

It means that you may need to understand the person you are dealing with before you can effectively influence him.

I have seen wives soften husbands who seemed to have very hard hearts. I have seen women influence men who initially appeared completely unwilling to listen. It was not always because these women talked more or argued better. Many times, they simply learnt how to reach their husbands.

This is why I keep saying that what you do not know is not necessarily difficult. Sometimes, you simply do not have the knowledge required to do it.

Driving would probably look like rocket science to you if you had never driven a car before. You could sit in the driver's seat, look at all the buttons, pedals and controls and wonder how anyone manages to move the car.

But once someone teaches you what each thing does and gives you an opportunity to practise, you realise that it is not as complicated as it looked.

Marriage can be like that.

There are things that look extremely difficult because nobody has taught you how to handle them.

You may be thinking, “My husband is just impossible,” when the real problem is that you have been using an approach that does not work with him.

And this is important, Wifey: you do not have to become frustrated simply because the first approach did not work.

Sometimes, you need to learn a different approach.

You can help your husband.

You can influence him.

You can encourage him to become better.

But you need wisdom to know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.

The problem is that this knowledge is not common.

Many women were taught how to get married, but they were not necessarily taught how to understand the man they married.

So when they encounter a problem, they use the only tools they have.

They talk more.
They explain more.
They advise more.
They complain more.

And when it does not work, they conclude that their husband is simply difficult.

But what if there is another way?

What if the issue is not that he cannot be influenced, but that nobody has taught you how to influence him?

That is what I want us to learn.

Because sometimes, what looks difficult is simply unfamiliar.

Find someone who understands it. Learn from them. Practise what you learn.

And you may discover that it was never as hard as you thought.

That is what I do.

I help wives understand their husbands, communicate with them more effectively, and learn the wisdom that helps them build the kind of marriage they desire.

Wifey, it is not always as hard as you think.

Sometimes, you simply need to know what to do.

I love you,
Your RC

28/09/2026

I Guarantee You Will Have Issues in Marriage

Dear Wifey,

If you have ever worked in a one-man business and then moved to a proper corporation, you will notice a big difference.

One of the biggest differences is stakeholders.

In many one-man businesses, there may be a board on paper, but nobody is really checking what the owner is doing.

But in a proper corporation, things are different.

You have shareholders to report to. You have a board. You have people who can ask questions about your decisions.

The simple fact that you have to answer to someone changes how you behave.

Accountability makes us responsible.

Just today, someone in our community made a comment that stayed with me.

She said many of us entered marriage with the wrong mindset. Then reality became different from what we expected, and now we are unhappy.

It made me think again about how much preparation we give people before marriage.

I have actually been thinking about focusing more on singles and helping them choose well.

Because the quality of a marriage is strongly connected to the quality of the two people in it.

The omelette is made from the eggs.

Sometimes, I hear what people are experiencing in their marriages and I honestly wonder:

Who prepared you people for marriage?

Now, let me ask you something.

Who are your stakeholders?

A few days ago, I wanted to make a decision. I told someone, “Can I get back to you on this?”

He said yes.

What did I want to do?

I wanted to go home and run the decision by my stakeholders.

Let me tell you about three of them.

1. God

I have to be able to ask God questions and listen for His direction.

Look at Joshua and the Gibeonites.

The Gibeonites came looking tired, hungry and worn out. Joshua and the Israelites made a decision based on what they could see.

But they were deceived.

If Joshua had asked God first, things might have been different.

There are many things you will miss because you simply cannot see the whole picture.

That is why I need God.

2. My husband

I tell my husband everything.

What was said.

Who said it.

How it was said.

Sometimes, even the person's facial expression.

Why?

Because my husband is one of my accountability systems.

Many times, I defer to him.

I don't believe I should be the only person making every decision in my life.

Think about Eve.

What if she had told the serpent, “I hear what you are saying. Let me discuss this with my husband first”?

Maybe the story would have been different.

3. Our mentor

There are things my husband and I run by our mentor.

Some decision requires more than the three basic stakeholders.

We take things to the person who is relevant to that particular situation.

That is what having stakeholders means.

You don't have to figure out everything by yourself.

And honestly, I am concerned about people who have nobody in their lives who can question them.

Nobody who can say, “Wait. Don't do that.”

Nobody they can defer to.

Nobody they are willing to listen to, even when they don't immediately understand why that person is asking them to stop.

That is dangerous.

Especially in marriage.

Because if you are married to someone who believes they can make every decision by themselves, you may have a serious problem.

They can hurt you, make major decisions without you and refuse to listen to correction.

The same thing happens in businesses.

Many small businesses struggle because the owner has no functional board, no one asking questions and no one checking their decisions.

The person simply does whatever they want.

And when you live like that, your emotions can easily become your compass.

So I ask people:

Who processed you before you got married?

And they say, “Nobody.”

Nobody?

You just woke up one day, decided who you wanted to marry, and got married?

Damn!

Marriage is too important for that.

So let me ask you again:

Who are the stakeholders in your life?

Are you your own alpha and omega?

Are you the beginning and the end of your own life?

Is there really nobody among the 8 billion people on earth whose counsel you are willing to consider?

Because if you live like that, you can walk yourself into trouble and not even realise it.

And the most dangerous part?

You may get to a point where nobody can tell you the truth anymore.

Then the pride that helped you achieve certain wrong things becomes the same thing that prevents you from admitting that you made a wrong decision.

Wifey, treat your life like a business.

Treat your marriage like a business.

Have an organisational structure.

And most importantly, have stakeholders.

People who can question you.

People who can correct you.

People who can tell you the truth.

People you trust enough to listen to.

Would you like to know how to build the right stakeholders into your life?

I love you,
Your RC

27/09/2026

REIMAGINE YOUR HUSBAND

Ada keeps saying she is not satisfied in marriage.

I asked Ada what makes her dissatisfied in marriage.

She said her husband is falling below her expectations for her to be happy and satisfied.

So, I asked again, what does he do?
She gave me a list of the things he is getting wrong. Things like - he is not making enough money, barely around for the kids, he has cheated on her a few times and Ada is wondering what she is getting out of marriage.

I listened to a podcast on YouTube and the speaker said why women go for divorce is when they check what they are getting out of marriage and it doesn't match with the sacrifices she is making, she wants out.

I agree.

Today, I was reminiscing on my journey with wives, I could see how wives perceive their husbands and how it shows in how satisfied they are in marriage.

This doesn't mean many women aren't sacrificing for their homes. It just means that many wives who have walked out, seemed to believe that they are making more sacrifices than they are benefiting.

So, I have seen many wives thinking really less of their husbands probably because of history.

Here's what I tell most women.
One of the best ways to live life is by imagination and not by history. History is when you think based off what has been, and imagination is ability to think something new.

So, it's easy to think based on what has happened to you. Ada has a husband who does A, B and C. I told Ada to rethink her perspective of her husband and see him in a different light and then call that out of him.

It was hard, I kept explaining it until she got the concept. This is how you can change your life and you can also change your spouse.

Let's look at an example of someone who did this.
A.B.I.G.A.I.L

Abigail was married to Nabal, she agreed that her husband was foolish. He got into a squabble with David and David wanted to slay him.

Abigail showed up.
She didn't speak to David from history. History shows David as a warrior and by extension a "Keeler". She looked into the future, imagined David as a king and told him that kings should not have the blood of a man in his hands.

She stopped him on his tracks and David said - this woman is for keeps.

Back to Ada, if Ada keeps talking to her husband from history, she will keep having a weak husband.

If she can look into the future and begin to talk to him like what she sees, she can call that thing out of him.

This is one beautiful way to help your husband. You don't have to be where you met him. You can change all that and I have shown you how to.

I can provide clarity if you have questions and ask them.

I love you
Your RC

25/09/2026

Money Is Spiritual

Many times, the difficulty you are facing is not simply a lack of hard work. Sometimes, there is a spiritual dimension to what you are experiencing, and if you only address the physical side of the problem, you may continue to struggle without understanding why.

Naturally speaking, one may say that Job lost everything because of natural disasters and unfortunate circumstances. But because we have the context of the story, we can see that those physical disasters had a spiritual undertone. What was happening in the physical had a spiritual dimension behind it.

This is why I believe that when people say, “God does not give money,” that statement may be true, but it is not the entire truth.

Yes, God expects man to work. The Bible says that the one who does not work should not eat. There is a place for diligence, skill, discipline, learning, building and taking action. You cannot sit at home doing nothing and expect money to appear in your account simply because you prayed.

But there are also people who are working very hard and still experiencing unusual resistance. They are putting in the effort, they are developing themselves, they are trying different things, and yet the results do not seem to correspond with the effort they are putting in.

This is where we need to understand that money is a team sport.

Man plants and waters, but God gives the increase.

You have a part to play, and God has a part to play. If a man is not working, he is not qualified for increase because he has not planted anything. But if a man is working and completely ignores the spiritual dimension of his life, he may be trying to achieve with his natural strength what requires both natural and spiritual cooperation.

This principle does not only work in money. It works in every area of life.

There are things that you can do naturally, and there are things that only God can do. Man is led, God has the power, we have the ability, but God provides the supernatural dimension. We bring our "natural", and God brings His "super" and we have "supernatural".

This is why I do not want you to build your financial life by looking only at how to make more money.

Learn the skill. Do the work. Build the business. Apply for the opportunity. Improve your competence. Serve people. Create value. Be diligent.

But while you are doing all of these things, do not neglect the spiritual part of the equation.

Pray.

Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to lead you. Ask Him to open the right doors and close the wrong ones. Ask Him to connect you with the right people and give you discernment to recognize the opportunities He brings your way. Ask Him to bless the work of your hands.

Because there are times when you can do everything that makes sense naturally and still need God to breathe upon your efforts.

This is not an excuse for laziness, and it is not a replacement for work. Prayer without work is not the principle I am teaching you. Work without God is also not the principle.

The principle is partnership.

You bring your natural ability, and God brings His supernatural power.

You plant and water, but God gives the increase.

So as we continue our conversations around money this October, I want you to think beyond simply asking, “How can I make more money?”

Ask yourself, “Have I included God in the equation?”

Because you can learn how to make money, but you also need wisdom to know what to do with it, grace to sustain it, and God’s direction to build what He has called you to build.

Do not work without getting the spiritual part of the equation right.

It really matters.

I love you.
Your RC

24/09/2026

Many of Us Have Made Enough Money to Get Out of Poverty

One of the most important things you need to build wealth is emotional control. Emotional control, when it comes to money, is really the ability to practise delayed gratification. It is being able to want something and tell yourself, “Not yet,” because you understand that there is something more important your money needs to do first.

Let me give you an example. Imagine someone wants to buy a car and decides to take a loan or pay gradually for the car over two or three years. By the time he finishes paying, he may have paid much more than the original cost of the car. If he had waited until he could afford the car and then paid for it once, the story could have been different. The issue here is not necessarily that he could not afford the car; it is that he wanted the car before he had the financial capacity to comfortably pay for it.

This is why delayed gratification is required in wealth building.

You can make good money and still remain financially trapped if every increase in your income immediately becomes an increase in your lifestyle. You earn more, so you move into a more expensive house. You earn more, so you buy a more expensive car. You earn more, so you start buying more expensive clothes, shoes and other things you previously could not afford. Before you realise what is happening, you are making more money but you are still financially stressed because your expenses have grown alongside your income.

This is how many people remain in the rat race. They are working hard and making money, but the money is constantly being used to maintain the lifestyle they have created. They cannot stop working because the moment the income stops, the lifestyle becomes difficult to sustain.

The wealthy may also go into debt, but there is an important difference in what the debt is being used for. Debt can be used to acquire assets that produce income or increase in value, while many people go into debt simply to acquire things that take money away from them.

An asset is something that makes you money or has the capacity to generate money for you. A liability, in this context, is something that takes money away from you because you have to spend money to acquire or maintain it. Clothes, shoes, hair, private cars and private homes can all become liabilities because they consume money rather than producing an income for you.

The principle is simple: money goes into assets, the assets produce more money, and that money can then be used to fund the lifestyle and liabilities you desire.

Many people do the opposite. They make money, and the first thing they do is put the money into liabilities. They buy the car, upgrade their wardrobe, move into a more expensive apartment and increase their lifestyle. Then they have to go back to work to make more money because the money they made has already been consumed by the lifestyle they created.

So the cycle continues. You make money, you spend the money, you need more money, so you make more money, and then you spend that money again.

This is why two people can earn the same amount of money and have completely different financial realities. One person may use a significant portion of their income to acquire assets, while another person may use almost everything they earn to maintain their lifestyle.

And this brings me to something I have been thinking about: many of us have made enough money to get us out of the rat race.

The problem is that we spent the money before it had the opportunity to change our financial position.

We wanted the car immediately. We wanted the bigger house immediately. We wanted the clothes immediately. We wanted to look successful immediately. We wanted to enjoy the lifestyle immediately. And because we could afford the monthly payment, we convinced ourselves that we could afford the purchase.

But being able to make the payment is not necessarily the same thing as being able to afford something.

Sometimes, the most financially intelligent thing you can say is, “I can afford this, but I will not buy it yet.” You are not saying this because you do not deserve nice things or because you should never enjoy the money you have worked hard to make. You are saying it because you understand that every naira you spend today is a naira that cannot be used for something else.

Delayed gratification is not deprivation. It is choosing what you want more over what you want now.

You may want the car, but what you may actually want more is financial freedom. You may want the bigger house, but what you may actually want more is a business or investment that can provide for your family. You may want to look wealthy, but what you may actually want is to become wealthy.

Those things require different decisions.

So perhaps the question should not always be, “Can I afford this?”

A better question may be, “What will this money do for me if I do not spend it today?”

That is where emotional control becomes important.

Building wealth requires the ability to postpone some pleasures today so that you can create a better financial reality tomorrow. It requires you to understand that not every desire needs to be satisfied immediately and that not everything you can afford needs to be purchased.

As we prepare for our money month in October, this is one of the conversations we will be having in the community. Because making money is one thing, knowing what to do with the money you make is another, and becoming wealthy requires that you learn the difference.

Stay tuned.

I love you.
Your RC

23/09/2026

How Much Money Do You Want to Make?

Dear Radiant Wife,

I heard a story from our mentor that made me think deeply about this question.

There was a woman who wanted to leave her husband because of some challenges in her marriage. She said that if she could make up to ₦200,000 per month, she would leave.

The next question I asked was, “How much is ₦200,000 per month?”

Because when you calculate it, ₦200,000 per month is ₦2.4 million per year.

For a mother of three, that may not actually be enough to build the kind of independent life she imagines, although she may not realise it yet.

This is why I want you to think about something as we prepare for our money month in October.

How much money do you actually want to make?

Young women say they want to marry wealthy men, and there is nothing wrong with desiring financial stability. Married women want to make money too. In fact, almost everybody wants to make money.

But have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “How much money do I want to make?”

For that woman, ₦2.4 million a year was enough for the life she wanted to build.

Let me give you another example.

Ada wants to become a multimillionaire. She has set this as a goal, but Ada is an English Language teacher earning ₦100,000 per month, which gives her an annual income of ₦1.2 million.

How does Ada move from earning ₦1.2 million per year to becoming a multimillionaire?

Before we get there, there is something critical that Ada must identify.

Why does she want to become a multimillionaire?

Your why matters.

For some people, they want to make money simply to be comfortable and live happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with this, but if comfort is the only thing driving you, it may also determine the level of money you are willing to pursue.

Some people want to make money because they want to prove something to other people. Some want to make money because they want to leave a legacy for their children. Some want to make an impact, while others simply want to enjoy life.

No matter what your reason is, identify your why.

Your why is your primary driver.

As we prepare for the money month, I also want to share a pitfall that many women fall into.

1. Making money to compete with your husband

Marriage is a team sport. Your husband is not your enemy.

I know that an untrained man can deal with his wife in a way that can make her want to prove a point. I know that sometimes a woman may look at what her husband has done or failed to do and decide that she will become financially independent just to show him that she can do without him.

But there is another side to this.

Sometimes, brokenness can also make a wife compete with her husband even when he has not provoked it.

There may be other reasons I have not mentioned, but I want to gear you towards one thing: building your home and not tearing it down.

Competing with your husband can tear your home down.

So the question becomes, now that your husband has hurt you, or your father dealt with your mother in a way that made you determine that you would never experience the same thing, are you going about it the right way?

Competing is not the right way.

Someone may say, “When he was doing his own, did he think about the right way?”

Maybe he did not.

But two wrongs do not make a right.

You can and should make money, especially if you want to. You should develop yourself, build your capacity, create wealth and become financially responsible.

However, competing with your husband may ruin your home.

And trust me, you do not want money to destroy your home.

What you need is wisdom.

What wisdom do you need to apply in your home to ensure that money, whether it is the lack of it or the surplus of it, does not negatively affect your marriage?

It is wisdom you need, not revenge.

It is wisdom you need, not “pepper them gang.”

It is wisdom you need, not competition.

You need wisdom, not getting even.

And this is the kind of wisdom we will be exploring together in the community this October as we talk about money, marriage and building a thriving home.

Stay tuned.

I love you.
Your RC

05/09/2026

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! MaryMartha Agidiomo, Charity Iornum, Adephunke Adelakun, Amosun Oluwakemisola Adeola, King Adekoya, Christabel Asogwa, Victory Omofuma, Nasiru Daudah, Binta John, Omingo Aol, Amen Kossivi Akogo, Bazenga Mnaree

04/09/2026

Does your husband still love you, or has he simply stopped being intentional?

03/09/2026

Does your husband struggle to apologize, even when he clearly hurt you?

It may not always mean he doesn’t care. There are deeper reasons some men find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry.”

In this video, I share what may really be behind it, and what you can do differently.

Watch till the end, and tell me: Does your husband apologize easily?

I love you
Your RC

The Radiant Wife Circle

29/09/2026

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