https://t.me/pastorcugteachings

De-CUGees, Portharcourt, Portharcourt (2026)

25/05/2026

One of the things that gave me confidence that my wife would honour and respect me in marriage, was how she honoured her father.

While we were dating, I observed it carefully.

The way she reverenced him, the way she spoke highly of him and his sacrifices for the family.

The way she was careful not to be on the wrong side of his books 😂

This babe deliberately honoured her father, and honestly it was something beautiful to see oohh...

She understood his struggles, She respected his sacrifices, And she genuinely tried not to upset him.

Those early days before she officially told him about me ehn 😅

We could go on dates, and she would already calculate the exact time she was leaving 😂 4pm dare not meat her in "Genesis fast food" then 😂

The highest we stayed outside then was maybe 2 hours 30 minutes 😭 and that's because I'll have to schedule that day to only meet her, so I'll come out earlier.

Sometimes she wouldn’t even want to eat during our dates 😀

Not because she wasn’t hungry o 😂 But because she didn’t want to get home with “evidence” of enjoyment and start answering questions 😭😂😂😂

A few times, she even rejected gifts from me because she was scared her dad would see them and begin interrogation 😅

Omohhh 😂

Sometimes I would just weak.

Other times I’d be saying in my head: “Which kind secondary school relationship be this?” 😭😂

But interestingly, the Holy Spirit kept cautioning me:

“Don’t shut her down Don’t fight this part of her.

Allow her grow at that pace of honour for her father, it will benefit you later.”

And truly… it did.

Because when she finally told her dad about us officially, that was when she relaxed small 😅

That was when eating out became freer 😂

Gifts could now land safely without fear of EFCC-style investigation 😭😂

But here’s the deeper thing I discovered after marriage:

I now receive even greater honour than what she gave her father.

And it became easy for her because honour was already part of her nature.

You see, people don’t suddenly become respectful in marriage.

Most times, they’ve been practicing it somewhere.

The way a person relates with authority, parents, people they genuinely value, often reveals patterns.

And another thing hit me deeply

If I had constantly mocked her honour for her father, or pressured her to reduce it because it inconvenienced me then…

I might have indirectly trained her to reduce her honour system generally.

Because the same arguments I would have used then;

“He’s too strict.”
“Why are you always careful?”
“You’re overdoing it.”

could later become applicable to me too 😅 because she'll naturally think that's how I'd want to be treated 😂😂

After all… I’m also a man.

And this taught me something powerful:

Never destroy a virtue in someone simply because it is temporarily uncomfortable for you.

Some people complain about the exact qualities that would later preserve their marriage.

Today, I enjoy the fruit of what I once had the patience to respect ❤️

And honestly?

A person who genuinely knows honour… is a gift to build with.

25/05/2026

Low BP ? As how na???

24/05/2026

MOST OF US WHO GREW UP IN AFRICAN HOMES WITNESSED OUR PARENTS F!GHT AT SOME POINT...

And I don’t mean small arguments o 😅

I mean real fights Throwing punches kind of fights 😂

I witnessed that too from a very young age.

Sometimes my dad was triggered, sometimes not… but as a child, those moments stay with you.

And I remember telling myself very early in life:

“I will never reflect this part of my father’s imperfection in my own home.”

I prayed and asked God for grace.

God answered that prayer, but not in the way I expected.

He took me through paths that built restraint in me.

Difficult relationships!
Disrespectful people!
Betrayals!
Moments that stretched me emotionally!

There were times I was pushed to my last nerve 😅

Times anger wanted to rise badly.

But in those moments, I kept hearing within me:
“This is not who you prayed to become.”

And slowly, something was dying in me.

That violent reaction, that impulse to explode, that energy that makes people lift their hands in anger.

God was using those difficult moments to train my spirit before marriage ever came.

So now, even in heated moments with my wife, never for once have I felt the need to hit her.

This is not because I'm a Pastor, but because I made myself available to Christ to work in me by his Grace.

And even if such a feeling ever tries to whisper from the flesh, I still will not budge.

Because grace has worked on me intentionally.

And this is something many people don’t understand:

Trauma should not become your excuse to continue destruction.

It should become your reason to heal and choose differently.

You saw your dad beat your mom, and it pained you deeply, Yet you’ve grown now and you’re doing the same thing.

You saw your mom insult and disrespect your dad at every opportunity, calling him weak, useless, not man enough, and you even hated it as a child.

But now you’re older, and somehow you received double portion of that same energy 😅 calling it "kwili-kwili for kwili-kwili" 😂

Why not let the pain teach you differently?

You saw violence, so you decide to become gentle.

You saw insults, so you become intentional with words.

You grew up with harshness, so you raise your children with warmth.

That is growth.

Because maturity is not repeating what damaged you.

It is healing enough to stop the cycle.

And honestly, one of the greatest prayers a person can pray is:

“Lord, let negative patterns end with me.”

Not everything you witnessed growing up should continue through you.

Some things should stop at your generation!

23/05/2026

PEOPLE OFTEN SAY "FOOD IS THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART"

My dear, not when bad character is escorting the food 😂

That food will not even pass his throat well 😀
In fact, he may be eating it with emotional fasting 😭😂

Don’t get me wrong o…

My wife is an amazing cook, top-tier culinary skills 😭😊

And believe me, I dey enjoy this woman’s food wella 😅

But truthfully?

What captured me first was not her food.

It was her person.

Her character, her softness, her honour, her respect, the way she treats people, the way she carries herself with grace.

My wife’s virtue satisfies me even before the food enters 😭❤️

Because after beauty fades small small and butterflies calm down, character is what you will live with every day.

You can be a professional chef and still not be considerable as a wife.

Because marriage is not sustained by stew and jollof alone 😅

A peaceful spirit matters, humility matters, Wisdom matters, how you speak matters, how you handle people matters too.

And let me also say this

Sometimes, some people are not struggling with a spiritual attack concerning marriage.

It’s character oh (agwa ojor)

Pride!
Poor attitude!
Lack of self-awareness!
Terrible behaviour people are enduring quietly!

You can call yourself “A Queen and More” and still not possess the virtues that can raise Godly Children and keep a home.

Because being a wife is deeper than titles and aesthetics.

And this is not only for women o 😅 Men too must build character.

Nobody enjoys living with a difficult human being, regardless of gender.

At the end of the day…

Character is what makes love restful.

Because there’s a kind of person whose presence alone brings peace to your life ❤️

And honestly?

That is one of God’s greatest gifts in marriage.

23/05/2026

Women and their shenanigans 🙆😂

22/05/2026

One time during a misunderstanding with my wife, she did something that really got me upset

Omoh… I was angry.

I was seriously addressing the matter, and as I was talking, I noticed my body was vibrating small small 😂

You know that kind of anger where your voice starts increasing without your permission 😀

And while I was talking, one tiny useless voice from the pit of hell whispered inside my head:

“Call her stupid.”
“Call her foolish.”
“Let her feel the weight of your anger.”

Brethren, the battle shifted immediately to my mind 😅

Because in that moment, I knew something:

Words spoken in anger don’t disappear after the anger goes away.

And I know my wife very well, She takes my words seriously.

The things I say to her, she believes them deeply because she sees them as reflections of how I truly see her.

So while I was still angry and talking, I was fighting hard internally not to use abusive words.

And thank God… I won.

I never said any of them.

That experience reminded me again that not every emotion deserves vocabulary.

Because some people think “I was angry” is enough justification to say damaging things.

No.

Anger is real, but self-control is also real.

You can correct without destroying

You can express pain without insulting someone.

You can be upset without attacking a person’s identity.

Especially in marriage.

Because words from a spouse carry unusual weight.

A stranger’s insult may hurt briefly, but hurtful words from someone you love can sit in the heart for years.

Many people are still healing from words spoken casually during arguments.

And sometimes, the speaker has forgotten, while the listener is still carrying it.

This is why being Spirit-led matters a lot.

Because there are moments where love is not proven by how loudly you speak, but by what you restrained yourself from saying.

Marriage will have misunderstandings.

But don’t let temporary anger produce permanent wounds.

Some words should never cross your lips, no matter how upset you are.

When you easily insult out of anger, it suggests lack of emotional intelligence, and immaturity to an extent.

Bridle your tongue, and guide your emotions.

What is that one thing you think couples should never say to each other, even during arguments?

22/05/2026

Sis Nkiruka we heard you've been spending the weekend in Bro Timothy's house 😏

21/05/2026

THE NEXT CHIKE AND FRANK EDOHO's WIFE's SAGA CAN HAPPEN IN YOUR HOME.

E shock you, right? 👀

This might sound funny, but it is very true. And there’s an aspect of this story I want to draw our attention to.

We heard about the trending news (I don’t even know whether it has been verified or not) about Chike, a popular secular music artiste, being involved in an adultery scandal with a married woman.

Normally, things like these do not concern me at all because I’m neither thrilled nor interested in such news.

However, as we all know, Uncle Mark Zuckerberg, through his app, brings every flying gist around you straight to your newsfeed.

So while scrolling through my blue app, I saw a post where people were making reference to Frank Edoho’s previous statement about punishing a woman with “silent treatment.”

And this is where my emphasis for tonight’s post is.

I believe a lot of us already know about this issue.

I was even shocked that it was a man giving silent treatment this time because I honestly thought it was part of “women’s shenanigans in modern society” 😭

But you see the way people are blasting that man over what he said? There are millions of people who have done it before or are still doing it to their partners and spouses till today.

I did it too.

At the beginning of our relationship, I gave my husband (then Fiancé) serious silent treatment.

There was a time we had a serious misunderstanding over the phone and I refused to call him, speak to him, or even send a message.

I did this almost three different times before he finally called my attention to it.

Firstly, he told me that there is a difference between reasonable silence and silent treatment.

He explained that it is okay to ask for time to cool off, process your emotions, or calm down. But intentionally becoming cold, distant, or unavailable because you are angry does not help the relationship at all.

And honestly, he was right.

Let me explain.

That thing that pushes you to punish your partner with silence is not God and it is not the Holy Spirit.

Imagine a child making a mistake and the parent’s response is to completely ignore the child forever.

Does that make sense?

In every relationship between two imperfect people, misunderstandings and arguments are inevitable.

But you do not shut the door to communication and affection because you are angry.

You do not become cold or silent just to prove a point.

Nobody truly wins by becoming emotionally unavailable.

Communication shows humility.

Communication shows maturity.

Communication shows that you value the relationship enough to fight for understanding instead of emotional punishment.

And the truth is this:

When affection, communication, attention, and emotional safety are consistently withdrawn from a relationship, you create cracks that the enemy can exploit.

No, this is not an excuse for cheating or unfaithfulness at all.

A cheating partner is still responsible for their actions.

But consistent coldness, distance, silent treatment, and emotional starvation can slowly weaken intimacy, friendship, and connection in a home.

Many people are not only lonely outside marriage.
Some are lonely inside marriage too.

And if care is not taken, what started as “I just want to teach him or her a lesson” may gradually create emotional gaps that become dangerous.

Please learn to communicate.

Take breaks if you need to.

Calm down if you must.

But don’t weaponize silence.

Some battles are not won by being mute.
They are won by understanding, humility, patience, and intentional love.

20/05/2026

Small trap, he fell for it 🤷

20/05/2026

Just small bag I asked him to carry, and he was already reminding me he's an Apostle 😅😃😂

De-CUGees

25/05/2026

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