05/09/2026
I know how unbelievable some of this may sound. There is another side of my life that is incredibly difficult to put into words because **I have experienced things that felt far beyond what most people would consider normal—or even possible.**
Throughout my life, I’ve had numerous encounters with what appeared to me to be **UFOs and luminous, plasma-like orbs**, sometimes surrounding me again and again. I was not always alone when these things happened. Family members and friends witnessed some of these experiences with me, and many of those people are no longer here.
Losing so many people who were close to me has left me carrying tremendous grief. At times, I have felt as though an enormous darkness or evil exists in this world, especially after witnessing what human beings can do to one another.
I’ve also experienced moments of an extraordinary connection with nature—powerful winds, storms, and other situations in which I felt I was somehow **interacting with the elements themselves**. There were moments when I believed this connection helped protect or save people when it was truly needed.
There are experiences I still struggle to explain. I remember holding my hands in fire for what seemed like minutes and somehow not being burned.
And after surviving so many encounters with death, I sometimes feel that **each time I came back, something within me became stronger or more awakened.** I experienced abilities, perceptions, and sensitivities that I came to understand as going beyond what I had previously believed a shaman could experience.
Over the years, I’ve developed what I experience as an intense awareness of **life-force energy, biophotons, electromagnetic sensations, intuition, psychic phenomena, and a profound connection with the natural elements.**
I also experience an extremely strong sensitivity to people. There are times when I feel almost immediately that someone is trying to deceive me or that something about their intentions is wrong.
And yet one of the most painful realities of my life is that there are hardly any people physically present in it anymore.
Maybe one or two people genuinely care about me, but even they are not physically part of my everyday life.
Because of that isolation, there have been moments when I have seriously wondered:
**Did I actually die somewhere along the way?**
**Is this some kind of hell?**
How can I have witnessed so much death, cruelty, suffering, betrayal, and darkness—and somehow still be here?
Sometimes it feels as though I am surrounded by people who have forgotten compassion, empathy, and love, while I continue searching for the people who still have those qualities alive within them.
And I ask myself:
**Why am I still here?**
What purpose could there possibly be behind surviving all of this?
I can only speak from my heart about what I remember, what I have personally experienced, and what those experiences have meant to me.
I've survived multiple near-death experiences and remember being **pronounced dead three separate times in hospitals**, along with other experiences in which I came extremely close to death without being formally pronounced dead.
There are moments when I sit completely alone and genuinely wonder:
**WHY AM I STILL HERE?**
Why have I survived so many things that I believed should have taken my life?
Why do I keep finding myself back here after coming so close to death?
Sometimes I even wonder whether what I experienced was death followed by somehow returning—or what I interpret spiritually as being **incarnated back into another body or another continuation of existence.**
These questions are part of what led me to become **Iron Shaman — the Green Light Body.**
It isn't simply a name I chose for myself.
**I experienced it as a name that was given to me.**
For me, it represents an attempt to **INNERstand** a lifetime of survival, loss, extraordinary experiences, spiritual searching, and a connection to something greater than myself.
And one of the saddest parts of this journey is that **I still haven't found anyone who truly seems like me—not even close.**
I give love even when very little love seems to come back.
Perhaps one of the hardest parts of everything I have endured is the loneliness.
After losing the people who were closest to me, **I became a lone wolf.** I have lived that way for many years.
**I have yet to meet another person who truly seems to experience the world the way I do.**
I have spent much of my life searching for genuine goodness, compassion, truth, and love, yet I have also encountered tremendous cruelty, judgment, betrayal, and suffering.
There have even been people who have called **me** evil because they did not understand me, my experiences, or my path.
That hurts deeply—especially when so much of my life has been spent trying to understand what **genuine love** really means and continuing to offer it despite everything I have experienced.
I don't claim to have all the answers.
**I am still searching.
I am still learning.
I am still trying to INNERstand why I survived—and why I am still here.**
But through everything—the loss, the darkness, the near-death experiences, the unexplained, and the profound loneliness—I have somehow continued forward.
That is what **Iron Shaman — the Green Light Body** means to me.
đź’š **I AM STILL HERE.**
And somewhere deep within my heart, despite everything I have witnessed and survived, **I believe there is a reason. SOMEWHERE FOR SOME REASON WHY I am still HERE**
