Door of Hope Counseling and Consulting, LLC

Door of Hope Counseling and Consulting, LLC My name is Carly Rogers Pressley and I am an LPC in the state of LA accepting new clients.

Sometimes we get so focused on helping our children succeed that we accidentally communicate something they were never s...
08/20/2026

Sometimes we get so focused on helping our children succeed that we accidentally communicate something they were never supposed to believe:

“I am only doing well when I’m doing well.”

Good grades. Good behavior. Winning. Making the team. Getting along with everyone. Being responsible. Making us proud.

We absolutely want to encourage our children to work hard, take responsibility, and grow. But there’s an important difference between encouragement and pressure.

Encouragement says: “I believe you can do hard things.”

Pressure says: “You have to succeed.”

Encouragement says: “Let’s figure out what you can learn from this.”

Pressure says: “How could you let this happen?”

Encouragement says: “I’m proud of the effort you put into this.”

Pressure says: “You should have done better.”

And perhaps most importantly, our children need to know: “You don’t have to perform your way into being loved.”

They can fail a test. They can lose the game. They can make a mistake. They can have a bad day. They can struggle socially. They can disappoint us.

And still know: “My parent is in my corner.”

That doesn’t mean we lower expectations. It means we create enough safety for our children to grow without being afraid that every mistake changes how we see them. Because confidence doesn’t grow from never failing. It grows when a child learns, “I can fail—and I can get back up.” And sometimes the most powerful thing we can give our children isn’t another push.

It’s the reassurance: “You don’t have to be perfect for me to be proud of you.”

A Parent Asked: “How do I teach my child to be a friend when friendship gets hard?”We spend a lot of time teaching child...
08/19/2026

A Parent Asked: “How do I teach my child to be a friend when friendship gets hard?”

We spend a lot of time teaching children how to make friends.

Be kind.
Share.
Take turns.
Include others.

But eventually, every child encounters the harder parts of friendship. Someone gets their feelings hurt. Two friends disagree. Someone needs space. Someone says “no.” Someone makes a mistake.

And those moments can actually become some of the most important opportunities to teach our children about relationships. Because healthy friendship isn’t about never having conflict. It’s about learning what to do when conflict happens.

We can teach our children how to:

💙 Communicate instead of assuming.

💙 Listen and consider another person’s perspective.

💙 Apologize when they’ve caused hurt.

💙 Repair instead of simply saying, “Sorry,” and moving on.

💙 Set boundaries while still being kind.

💙 Give space without assuming the friendship is over.

💙 Forgive without pretending the hurt never happened.

And perhaps one of the most important lessons is helping children understand the difference between: “We’re having a hard time.” and “This relationship is consistently hurting me.”

Not every friendship problem means a child needs to walk away. But not every friendship should be preserved at all costs, either. If a relationship consistently involves bullying, manipulation, intimidation, cruelty, or disrespect for boundaries, we shouldn’t teach children that being a “good friend” means continuing to tolerate it.

Healthy relationships are allowed to have hard moments. But they should also have room for communication, accountability, repair, respect, and growth. We don’t need to teach our children to keep every friendship forever. We need to teach them how to build relationships that are kind, respectful, honest, and safe—and how to recognize when a relationship isn’t those things.

Because being a good friend doesn’t mean being a perfect friend. It means learning how to handle hard moments in healthy ways. 💙

What is one friendship skill you wish someone had taught you when you were a child?

A teenager comes home, drops their backpack, snaps at everyone, disappears into their room, and responds to every questi...
08/18/2026

A teenager comes home, drops their backpack, snaps at everyone, disappears into their room, and responds to every question with:

“I don’t know.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Whatever.”

Our first instinct may be: “Fix your attitude.”

And sometimes, yes—teenagers need correction. But before we assume it’s simply defiance, it can be helpful to ask:

What happened before this behavior?
Did they just spend seven hours managing school expectations?
Were they navigating difficult friendships?
Did something embarrassing happen?
Are they exhausted?
Are they overwhelmed by homework, activities, responsibilities, or expectations?
Are they carrying something they haven’t figured out how to talk about yet?

This doesn’t mean we excuse disrespect. Understanding isn’t the same as excusing. We can say:

“I can see you’re overwhelmed, but you still can’t speak to me that way. Let’s take a break and try this conversation again when you’re ready.”

That’s different from:

“You’re being disrespectful. Go to your room.”

The first response communicates:

“Your feelings make sense, and your behavior still has boundaries.”

And that’s an important lesson for teenagers. They can be overwhelmed and responsible for how they treat people. They can be angry and still communicate respectfully. They can need space and still maintain connection. They can have big emotions without being given permission to hurt others.

Instead of asking your child, “How was school?” try asking questions that give them somewhere to go.Because sometimes:“H...
08/17/2026

Instead of asking your child, “How was school?” try asking questions that give them somewhere to go.

Because sometimes:

“How was school?”

gets you:

“Fine.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah.”

End of conversation. 😂

If you want to help your child open up, try asking more specific questions:

💙 “What was the best part of your day?”

💙 “What was the hardest part?”

💙 “Did anything surprise you today?”

💙 “Who did you sit with?”

💙 “Did anything make you laugh?”

💙 “Was there a moment you wished you could do over?”

💙 “Did you notice anyone who needed a friend today?”

And here’s one of my favorites: “What do you wish I had asked you about today?”

You don’t have to turn the car ride home or dinner table into a therapy session. Sometimes connection happens through one good question and a willingness to actually listen to the answer.

And remember: Your child doesn’t always need you to solve the problem they’re telling you about.

Sometimes they just need you to say: “Tell me more.”

Because when children learn that their everyday experiences matter to us, we’re doing more than getting information about their school day. We’re building a relationship where they know they can come to us when the conversation gets harder, too. 💙

“Before God takes you into the light, He will develop you in the dark.”— Brother Garen StanleyI heard this on a Wednesda...
08/17/2026

“Before God takes you into the light, He will develop you in the dark.”
— Brother Garen Stanley

I heard this on a Wednesday night, and it has stayed with me. Because we often want the light.

We want the answered prayer.
The breakthrough.
The open door.
The finished story.
The evidence that everything we’ve walked through was worth it.

But what if some of the things God is doing in us happen in seasons that nobody else can see?

The waiting.

The uncertainty.

The disappointment.

The stretching.

The growing.

The moments when we’re learning to trust God without knowing exactly what He’s doing.

Those seasons can feel hidden. They can even feel wasted. But hidden doesn’t mean meaningless. God can be developing something in you that the next season will require. So if you’re in a season that feels dark right now, maybe you don’t have to have the whole picture yet.

Maybe you just have to keep growing.

Keep trusting.

Keep becoming.

And keep believing that the season you’re in isn’t the end of your story.

Some things are developed in the dark before they’re revealed in the light. 🤍

Thank you, Brother Garen Stanley, for this thought.

A Sunday reminder for parents, teachers, and anyone who loves a child: Sometimes the behavior we see isn’t the whole sto...
08/16/2026

A Sunday reminder for parents, teachers, and anyone who loves a child: Sometimes the behavior we see isn’t the whole story.

The child who is unusually irritable may be overwhelmed.

The child who keeps interrupting may be struggling to feel heard.

The teenager who shuts down may not know how to put their feelings into words.

The child who says, “I don’t care,” may care more than they’re willing to show.

And the child who is acting out may be communicating something they don’t yet have the words or skills to communicate directly.

That doesn’t mean we ignore behavior. Children still need boundaries. They need accountability. They need to learn appropriate ways to express themselves.

But sometimes, before we ask:

“How do I get this behavior to stop?”

we can pause and ask:

“What might this behavior be telling me?”

Connection doesn’t mean permissiveness. It means helping a child feel seen before we expect them to change.

It might sound like:

💙 “You’re having a really hard time right now.”

💙 “I’m not going to let you hurt anyone, but I’m going to help you work through this.”

💙 “Something seems to be bothering you. I’m here when you’re ready.”

💙 “We can talk about what happened without me being angry at you.”

Sometimes a child needs correction.

Sometimes they need comfort.

Sometimes they need both.

Our goal isn’t simply to raise children who behave well. It’s to help raise children who eventually understand themselves well enough to know what they’re feeling, communicate what they need, and make healthy choices—even when those feelings are big.

And sometimes that learning begins with one simple message: “I see you. I’m here. Let’s figure this out together.” 💙

A Parent Asked: “How can I help my child when they feel like they don’t fit in?”Few things are harder for a parent to he...
08/15/2026

A Parent Asked: “How can I help my child when they feel like they don’t fit in?”

Few things are harder for a parent to hear than:

“Nobody likes me.”
“I don’t fit in.”
“Everyone has friends except me.”

And our first instinct is often to reassure them:

“Of course people like you!”
“Just be yourself!”
“You’ll find your people.”

Those things may be true—but sometimes our children need something more than reassurance. They need us to listen.

Try:

💙 “That sounds really lonely.”
💙 “I can understand why that hurt.”
💙 “Tell me what happened.”

You don’t have to agree with every conclusion your child has reached in order to validate that the experience hurt.

Then help them separate:

“Something is wrong with me.”

from

“I haven’t found the people I connect with yet.”

There is also a difference between helping a child develop social skills and teaching them that they need to change who they are to be accepted.

We can teach children how to:

• Join a group appropriately
• Take turns in conversations
• Notice social cues
• Handle disagreements
• Show interest in others
• Communicate their needs

But the goal isn’t to make our children universally liked. The goal is to help them build healthy relationships while remaining authentically themselves. And sometimes, the answer isn’t helping a child fit into the group they’re desperately trying to join. Sometimes it’s helping them find a different group.

A team.
A club.
A church group.
An art class.
A music program.
A community activity.
A place where their interests naturally connect them with other people.

And don’t forget to pay attention to what’s actually happening. Sometimes “I don’t fit in” is ordinary childhood loneliness. Sometimes it’s bullying, persistent exclusion, relational aggression, or a pattern of rejection that requires adult involvement.

Your child doesn’t have to fit in everywhere. They need to know they don’t have to become someone else to be worthy of friendship.

The goal isn’t to help our children be liked by everyone. It’s to help them find relationships where they can belong. 💙

One thing being a counselor has taught me:Sometimes people aren’t refusing to do better. They genuinely don’t know what ...
08/14/2026

One thing being a counselor has taught me:

Sometimes people aren’t refusing to do better. They genuinely don’t know what “better” looks like yet.

A child may know they’re not supposed to hit when they’re angry…but have no idea what to do with all that anger in their body.

A teenager may know they shouldn’t shut everyone out…but not know how to explain what they’re feeling without becoming overwhelmed.

A parent may know yelling isn’t how they want to respond…but realize they’re repeating the only version of parenting they were ever shown.

An adult may know they need boundaries…but have spent their entire life believing that saying “no” makes them selfish.

We can spend a lot of time telling people what they shouldn’t do.

Don’t yell.
Don’t hit.
Don’t overthink.
Don’t shut down.
Don’t worry.
Don’t react like that.

But one of the questions I’ve learned to ask is: “Okay…then what CAN they do instead?”

Because awareness matters. Accountability matters. But people also need tools.

Sometimes growth looks like learning a sentence you’ve never known how to say.

Sometimes it’s recognizing an emotion you’ve always called “mad.”

Sometimes it’s learning how to pause before reacting.

Sometimes it’s discovering that a boundary can be loving.

Sometimes it’s realizing that asking for help isn’t the same thing as failing.

And sometimes it’s practicing a healthier response over and over until it starts becoming more natural than the old one.

That’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about mental health education. I don’t want helpful mental-health tools to exist only inside a counseling office. Not everyone needs long-term counseling. But everyone can benefit from understanding themselves, their emotions, and their relationships a little better.

And sometimes…people don’t need another person telling them to do better. They need someone willing to teach them what “better” can actually look like. 💙

“I don’t care.”If you live with or work with teenagers, you’ve probably heard those three words a time or two. 😅Bad grad...
08/13/2026

“I don’t care.”

If you live with or work with teenagers, you’ve probably heard those three words a time or two. 😅

Bad grade? “I don’t care.”

Friend didn’t invite them? “Whatever. I don’t care.”

Didn’t make the team? “I didn’t even want to do it anyway.”

You try to talk about something that clearly seems to be bothering them? “Can we just stop talking about it? I. Don’t. Care.”

And sometimes…they really don’t.

But sometimes “I don’t care” is doing a lot of emotional work. Because saying “I don’t care” can feel much safer than saying:

“I’m embarrassed.”

“I’m disappointed.”

“I feel rejected.”

“I’m scared I’m not good enough.”

“It mattered to me, and now I’m hurt.”

For teenagers especially, vulnerability can feel risky. So sometimes they protect themselves by acting like the thing that hurt them never mattered in the first place. That’s why I wouldn’t always challenge the “I don’t care.”

Instead of:

“Yes you do. I can tell you’re upset.”

Try leaving the door open:

“Okay. You don’t have to talk about it right now. But if it does bother you later, I’m here.”

Or:

“I wonder if part of you doesn’t care and another part is disappointed.”

Or simply:

“That looked like a hard moment.”

And then…give them some room. You don’t have to pull an emotion out of a teenager for them to know you’re available to hear it.

Sometimes one of the most powerful things we can communicate is:

“You don’t have to pretend with me.”

Because beneath an “I don’t care” teenager…there may be a teenager who cares very deeply and hasn’t figured out how to safely say it yet. 💙

Parents and youth ministers: What’s another phrase you hear teenagers use when you suspect there’s more going on underneath?

A Parent Asked…“How do I build my child’s confidence without making them arrogant?”This is such a good question. I think...
08/12/2026

A Parent Asked…“How do I build my child’s confidence without making them arrogant?”

This is such a good question. I think sometimes we’re afraid that if we tell our children how wonderful, capable, talented, or special they are too much, we’re going to create a child who thinks they’re better than everyone else.

But confidence and arrogance aren’t the same thing.

Healthy confidence says:

💙 I know I’m valuable.
💙 I can try hard things.
💙 I can be proud of what I accomplish.
💙 I can make a mistake without it changing how I see myself.
💙 I can celebrate someone else’s success without it threatening mine.

Arrogance sounds more like:

I need to be better than you to feel good about me.

And that’s an important difference.

So how do we help children develop one without the other?

Praise more than the outcome. Instead of only, “You’re so smart!” notice effort, perseverance, courage, kindness, improvement, and problem-solving.

Let them struggle sometimes.
If we rescue children every time something becomes difficult, they don’t get many opportunities to discover:

“That was hard…and I handled it.”

Those experiences build confidence. Let them have strengths AND weaknesses. Your child doesn’t have to be good at everything.

Healthy confidence can say:

“I’m really good at this.”

AND

“That’s harder for me, but I can work on it.”

Teach them to celebrate other people. Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish theirs.

One of the clearest signs of secure confidence is being able to genuinely say:

“You did a great job!”

And model humility.

Let your children hear you say:

“I was wrong.”
“I don’t know.”
“I need help.”
“I’m proud of myself for doing that.”

That last one matters too. Humility doesn’t require us to pretend we have nothing to be proud of.

Ultimately, our goal isn’t to raise children who think they’re better than everyone else. It’s to raise children who know they’re valuable without needing to be better than anyone else.

Confidence isn’t:

“I’m better than you.”

It’s:

“I know my worth—and I don’t have to diminish yours to believe in mine.” 💙

Address

Alexandria, LA

Opening Hours

Monday 5pm - 8pm
Tuesday 5pm - 7pm
Thursday 5pm - 8pm
Friday 5pm - 8pm
Saturday 10am - 6pm

Telephone

+13185003958

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